Tarzan!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Man, Tarzan is hot. If I were Jane...

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hehehe, I'm horny. Inasmuch as I'm a Unicorn.

Wow, its Christmas Eve!!!
I'm at my dad's for the holidays, which for some reason cuts me off from the outside world. Well, Merry Christmas to eveyone. Love Kat.

Tristan, I'll call you when I get to my mom's. My dad has a weird phone that I don't understand. So many buttons.

What a loud gaggle of friends my sister has. I had a breezer and a screwdriver. Yummy yum yumme! And we watched Clone High, and I got to use it out of context, huzzah!!!
Man, not only was my cake a total disaster, I forgot the cake tin at school, and I have to buy a new one. Damn it, it isn't lost, just at school!

I really wanted to come to school today, but I woke up feeling really ill and I have a lot to do tonight, so here I am, at home, feeling better. To all my friends, a Merry Christmas, and Happy Hannukah! I love you all.

On that note, I don't think some people know how rude they can be.

Wow, today was so much fun! Photos, presents, food I couldn't eat, an evil cake, a beautiful sunset, and a hug that was so warm. And HOT SANTA!!!

Went Christmas shopping. What can I say? It was odd. I bought a gift for someone who I wasn't going to get a gift for. Well.
I got the cayuutest bag from Mick and Clare and Niamh as an early Christmas present! Hooray for Hello Kitty!

I'm sensing a lot of nuetrality-ooh, a big word.

Anyway, my SOB internet service has been down so, now I must catch up. I had fun on Friday, and then a bad Saturday, Sunday, and a decent Monday. Hmmm. I need to spice up my life. I'm gonna possum out.

Ice skating is so fun! I only fell once! Isn't that happy?

Ice skating tomorrow will be fabulous.



I'm going to look at the sky.

Dude, Christmas rocks.

All in all, I am a happy possum. I really really really am. People in general are wonderful. Sure you run into the occasional asshole but you just ignore them and concentrate on the nice guys.

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

You guys, I just figured out this whole copy-paste thing. And now I'm addicted.

borderline


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Is it just me, or does that guy look like Orlando Bloom?

I'm blogging for the first time in a long time. A lot has changed. Some of it for the better, some for the worse.

Okay, and now I tell you all how special you are. In no paticular order.

Anthony K: Thankyou for letting me dump on you. It must be a little uncomfortable having a 16 year old girl burst into tears for what seems like a silly reason. But thanks for supporting me. And you make me laugh, and you eat squid.
Anthony G: Our handshake makes me happy. Inasmuch as it doesn't make any sense.
Jaryd: The way you say "Naughty Fish" is both adorable and hilarious. You are so pretty and you help me through the Cloud of Ass when its fog is blinding me. So to speak.
Graham Dave: You let me wear your scarf. And the day I was sick you were super nice to me. And you are the Sex Possum.
Ben: You take a lot of abuse from me. You are a good person. You want to get laid.
Danielle: It's so cute when you kiss me on the cheek. You hug me when I'm sad and make me happy again. I might even make you a member of the Possum Posse!
Kelsey: I promise to come and get the shit I left at your house on Halloween soon. I hope I am as supportive of you as you are of me.
Kathryn: Yes. I'm sorry that I poke continual fun at RatMike. I must admit he isn't as rattish. But you are really comfy and I want to sleep ony you because your clothing is so soft and you hair smells good too. Do you use fabric softener?
Stephen: I can't believe we know each other from before! How insane is that? Anyway, you get on my nerves and sometimes I want to smack you but you're nice. Never do what you did to Graham Dave ever ever again. I am the Original Possum and I decree it so.
Tristan: Thankyou for being incredibly supportive, even when I'm weird. I read your blog and all I can really think to say is thankyou so much, for protecting me and being the Jedi Possum. Wtcha!
Dustin: Sometimes its nice to hear your voice ask "What's wrong, Kat?" because your voice is so strong. I'm sorry that You-Know-Who (not Voldemort) is always crying and sitting on you. If I could smite her, I would do so.
Lisa: You're hot! And your smile is heart warming. I know who I can turn to when I need a pretty smile.
Elissa: Um...I don't know you that well, but in the dream where I was a possum, you turned into a little black cat, and that just has to count for something.
Annoying grade 10 people: I hate you. Get the f*ck out. Not Danielle, Mel, Mumtaz, or anyone like that, just the annoying ones. You know who you are.
JenJen: You are friendly, but today you looked hoboish. Love ya!

Um...if I didn't mention you, you're special too. Special like the wind.
Guys, I got my secret santa the best f*cking present. He damn well better like it. Cost me seven dollars!

Mom, for the last f*cking time, I am not pregnant!


In other news, today made me realize how special all my friends are to me. But I'm so ill I can hardly breathe. But everyone, I love you. I want you to know that. My favourite part was holding hands with someone who is extra special and running into a circle and falling over.

It's *glances at clock* 9:20 and I am late for school. I'm typing in my mittens because I have to go soon and the house is so cold.

I move out of this Hell Hole in 7 days.

Man, I am so freaked out. I keep throwing up and feeling queazy in the mornings. Mom thinks I'm pregnant. Um, yeah, not possible. I'm a virgin, and some others know the REAL reason I probably can't get slapped up with a kid.
*sings "Like a Virgin"*

Smiling is a lot more fun than frowning. I am going to smile lots more.

Okay, haven't blogged in a little while...

So. How is everyone? I'm okay, I suppose. That strange feeling of happiness with a touch of anger on the side. Hooray!

Ignore this blog...it's just me making a mental note online, so in the near future, I can recall and go "Oh, yes, I remember!" and proceed with my life.

PIRATE PARTY!!!

When: Not yet decided. Me bucko.
Where: On the good ship Yarrrr! (138 Saddle Crest Close NE) <---That's gonna be my house. Teehee!
Why: Because I'm a bloody pirate. That's why, ye lubber.

Okay...now for the rules. The pirate ship Yarrrr is a ship of manners and discipline. With a healthy dosage of plundering, pillaging, and watching movies on the side. No rape.
Rule #1: I am a Captain for partial if not full nudity, but let us keep in mind this Captain's mother, who is, in fact, a Nazi. So clothes on please.
Rule #2: Pirate ships are like a family unit. Thusly, we do not fight or allow the COA to affect a family member. FIGHT THE CLOUD OF ASS!
Rule #3: Pirate termonology is to be used at all times. Me hearty.
Rule #4: Although all pirates are reknown for being drunk 87% of the time, there will be only Grog. And by Grog, I mean watered down rum. And by rum, I mean Diet Coke. In short, no drinky drinky.
Rule #5: When a rule is broken, there are punishments. An hour in the brig, keelhauling, swabbing the deck, being whipped with a cat-o-nine-tails, and going to Davy Jones's Locker. Having to sleep in the basement with nothing but your underpants for warmth.


Now, me ne'er do well cads, you must have a pirate name. I'm Captain Kat Possum. My First Mate is Tristan, who will need a better name. My Second Mate has yet to be selected. You must bring pirate booty (food, drink, or board game which will be played in pirate fashion). There will be treasure hunts and the like.


Drink up me hearties, yo ho!


And I'm done. Now I can let it out of my brain and refer to this later for all my details. Hooray!

*sigh* I had a weird day. Both happy, and angry. And it had nothing to do with the COA.

So, I will now tell you what I once wrote on a frosty window. See if you can relate...
"Hi World! Do you still suck?"

*gasp*A mutiny is under way! Tristan, be careful, or I will revoke your Jedi Possum privileges.

I'm so cold...this house is freezing.

I had two very weird dreams last night. I woke up sad and confused but happy that they were just dreams. My knee hurts so much.

So. Sushi. That was good. I now have a *drumroll* Possum Posse! Consisting of me, the Original Possum, Tristan, the Jedi Possum, and Anthony Knight, the Sophisticated Possum. That makes me happy. Anthony and I cleared like, ten plates before Tristan even got into the restaurant.
Cody and Marina didn't come. Oh well, more sushi for me!
Oh my God, Anthony kissed me, and almost kissed Tristan! HAHAHA!!! And we passed notes to people on the far side of the sushi bar via the dragon boats, one of which sunk right in front of us. It was hilarious. It came around the corner at a bad angle. I tried to pull it upright but it just sunk more. Then Anthony grabbed it, holding up the line, and we tried to get a server's attention, but we couldn't! Meanwhile, it was sinking fast. Then someone came to the rescue. We kept saying we didn't do it. Ah, good times!
And the squid. Anthony and the delicious squid. NOT!

And, of course, DAN. DAN WANTS YOU!

Tristan, there is no such thing as a CO-CAPTAIN. Well, there is, but it's called a First Mate. Proper pirate termonology, if you please. Your blog makes me sad. Be happy, Mister Terriyaki!

I get that feeling, everytime I see it, as if the bottom of my stomach just fell out and I'm going to be sick and cry and scream. And I just slip out of the room, without bidding anyone goodbye, and praying they don't say anything to me. Because then I have to be polite, and turn and wave and smile and see it.
And so I leave. I take myself out of the situation so I can forget.

The cold weather numbs my nose and my heart. I talk to Tristan a little. I come home. I buy bangles. I watch Finding Nemo with joy. But the "Cloud of Ass" lurks beyond my door, waiting to attack as soon as I leave my house to face another Goddamn fucking day.

And I cannot seem to forget.

The more I try to remember Halloween night, the more fuzzy the details become. I don't even really remember yesterday. I hope I didn't do/say anything really stupid.

How does one know who they love?
They are the one who you think about at night. They are the one who's eyes can be filled with fire or ice. They are the one who smiles at you across the room and warms your frozen heart. They are the one who turns around and their hair moves in slow motion. They are the one who makes you cry. They are the one who shimmers in the dark.
But most importantly, they are the one who, just for a moment, make everything stop, and the world falls away...




And FFXI comes out today.

I'm sick of feeling this way.

Is crying every day healthy?

The party was super fun fun. Just me and friends and bowling and pizza, plus much much more. And of course, the game "Darling, if you love me" was funny and giggly and I touched...several crotches. And Dustin gave Tristan the faintest hicky.


...And then, as I watched with tired, clouded eyes, the room melted away into a blurry haze, the loud talking was decreased to a soft murmur, and nothing mattered...the only thing that was almost in focus was what was directly in front of me, that wonderful image, and I cried silently into the night...

I am so high on sugar right now I can hardly remember anything that happened two minutes ago. What is my name?

Anyway, I am a little...what is the word I am searching for...off. Not happy, not sad, not angry, not calm. I dream of being a manga-ka and a teacher and a mother. Not that I want kids or a family or anything, but I like to imagine what my children might look like if I ever have them. Bernadette or Polly for a girl, Alistair or Mathias for a boy. I like weird names.

I was uncomfortable today. It was a physical thing. I was worried someone would ask what was wrong, because I would have to die.

Someone told me I was beautiful today. I blushed. According to my mother-of-step, I was glowing like a Christmas tree. I've been called pretty, but that really made my day. Call me superficial if you will.

Dad and I made cookies tonight. I made the following shapes: heart, star, moon, Mickey Mouse, smartie, amphibious landing craft, flower, sperm, and of course, a penis.

In these days of no regrets,
I keep mine to myself.
And all the things we never said
I can say for someone else.
And nothing lasts forever
But we always try,
And I just can't help but wonder why,
We let it pass us by.

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away.
If I let you down,
Please, forgive me now...
For that beautiful goodbye...

~Amanda Marshall Beautiful Goodbye

I really like Amanda Marshall. She is one of few musical artists who hasn't sold out and actually has talent. I am speaking mostly of the dreaded Avril Lavigne.

I heard the same song in my head continuously. It's a sad, soft melody and it perfectly embodies my feelings. Isn't music just magnificent?

Wouldn't it figure I'm ill. This really bites. In the amusing words of Hiroshi Karigari "Whatever I did to deserve this punishment, I appologize..." And Val, what the Hell is "squishie-fishy"? I'm frightened, yet intrigued.

Well, I just spent hours drawing pretty pictureness. My head hurts.

Okay, I need Tylenol and I need it now! If you have any, please send it via FedEx to my house. Oh, speaking of house, our new one has dry wall and siding! Yayay! Soon I will be living in a house, not a cramped little apartment below the worlds most annoying neighbours.

Anyway...

Ooooh, trouble in paradise, it would seem! What a tasty morsel to console myself with!

Well, I really have to get my act together in Bio...I mean, it is so much fun but I didn't do that confounded graph. Curses.

On the social front I look forward to the party. Marina, you had better bloody well go because if you don't there will be swift and painful death, followed smartly by reincarnation and torture. With the love of course.

I miss my dad. We talked to him on the phone yesterday and he sounded so tired and lonely. So tomorrow I'm going to visit. You know, sometimes when I'm feeling down about anything, it instantly vanishes in a big bear hug. And he's growing a moustache. Which I love. We have the same sense of humour and I can tell him absolutely anything. He likes the Eagles. And he has every little thing I ever gave to him. He has some of my hair in an envelope. No, he's not creepy! My sister gave me a haircut when I was three, and it was the silkiest blonde hair ever, and he kept it. It's so pretty. And know my hair is short. And kinda messy. And pigtail-ey.
God, I love my dad.

Okay, moving along. Anthony Knight, I will be attending your party on two conditions. 1) Marina goes-my mom wants someone she knows to be there with me. 2) Your parents are there. Because you know...I might get raped! Except I won't because I will direct the rapist in the general direction of Tristan.

Man, some people really get my goat. I mean, Anne, dearest, I hardly think you're fooling anyone when you fish for compliments in drama. Instead of complaining and being immature about performing, maybe you should just shut up and do it.
Mmmm...the sweet delicious nectar of the pear, you make all the pain fade.

Uh oh...that adorable orange tabby is on the balcony again, and Mousey has turned into the viscious cat bitch from Hell.
And now I depart. Farewell.

Lazy weekend, watching the trees shed their leaves and make the ground turn into fire.
Some people can be so rude.
Man, Chicago and Bend It Like Beckam are good movies. I didn't think they would be, but they are.

And that is a brief look at my life up to this point.

I am happy. Want to know why?
I got me a Snubbie!

This television program is intensely boring.

Man...that girl in choir sounds like a singing sheep.

Tristan. You're going to get raped. And I will laugh.

Signing off.

Please leave me.

How very odd.
I'm afraid, dear readers, I have nothing of interest to say today. I will attempt to do something interesting so I can type about it. And then all will be well.

Next year, next year, next year?!
Jeezus, christ, it's always next year, next year, next year! Well now it IS next year...
Jeezus.

Someone once asked me if I considered myself a dreamer.
I don't remember my answer.

I'm writing a blogstory. It has a really weird, unfinished plot that involves a girl called Fren who lives in this rather frightening place. Feel free to read it. But yeah, it's crazy.

Happy belated birthday to our special little Jew, Sarah.

I feel like a seven year old again. I want my mommy.
I'm really frightened. Really terribly frightened. The kind of frightened that can't be shown and must be hidden. That's what happens when your heart gets frightened.
My mom called me, and told me something that made my heart beat so quickly I thought it was going to leap out of my throat. I instantly reverted to one word, fright hiding sentences, like "Yes." "No, I'm fine." "No." "Okay." "Bye". Then I high-tailed it out of the living room, out of my sisters sight, and cried. I admit, I am leaping to major conclusions, because nothing has been determined yet, but the thought of that happening makes me cry.
And then I made a promise to my best friend. One I will keep. I won't let them hurt you. I'll make them kill me first. Seriously. I won't let them hurt you.

I won't be in tomorrow morning. Two appointments. And a promise.

Meagan and I have a brilliant plan to get back at the people upstairs. Last night, they were playing Eminem's 8 Mile song so loud ornaments fell off the mantle.
We need to borrow a dog...

Arrrrgh, matey!

I wonder where they are....

Why is it that when you miss someone, you see them everywhere. They're on the bus, they're in the school hall. You catch a glimpse in your peripheral vision, but when you turn, they're gone. Why is this?

Maybe it's because you miss them so terribly, that your brain transmits images and/or sounds, to make you believe they are there. But that isn't fair. Don't you think the body would block out the things that remind you of them, so that it doesn't hurt? Unforetunately, the mind is cruel. Everything reminds you of them, and you feel your brow lower with sadness everytime...it is a shame.

In other news, this medicine makes it hard to blink...it's kinda fun!

Okay, Mom, there is a three foot rule. As in stop POKING MY RIBS!

My feet are so cold, my legs ache.
Speaking of cold, that brings me to a boy in my science class. He was wearing one half of a pizza box around his neck. On the box, written in an untidy print, were the words "I NEED a new furnace...Pls give me $$$ P.S. I'm cold :(" I laughed my ass off. In class, I was too hot, so I took of my sweater to reveal my spaghetti strap with that support band. At the end of class he approached my makeshift desk-curse these crowded classes-and asked nervously "Um, are you wearing a bra?" I answered politely, "It has a built in bra. Not that it's any of your business." Sam laughed and said "Oh, come on, you were looking!" He glared at her and said "No I just couldn't see the straps." We had a hearty laugh.
And then I quickly forgot everything I had just learnt about the earth's atmosphere due to severely bad sub teacher.

Anthony and Marina, count you lucky stars. You will not be receiving mono on this paticular occasion. I have a throat infection, but my mono is dormant. Lucky you!

Val: Ah, mini-zen...one tenth of the zen!
Kat: Yes, mini-sensai!

Arrrgh! I'm sick on Christmas!
And I have to go to school for the next two days. I am going to cry. And I can't chew...only gummi bears...which are beginning to walk and talk to me and stuff....Arrrrgh!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!
My dad is so cool. He got me toy ponies (Killer and Ripper) and an ice cream cake with Mike from Monsters Inc on it, just like I asked! It was served on Buzz Lightyear paper plates and I had to blow out the candles three times because Dad kept screwing up the digital photos. I got a cell phone, a pretty purse, and a manga comic book from my mother, and a mini zen garden from my sister. My dad made me roughly five pounds of peanut and cashew brittle and toffee apples and a fabulous roast beef dinner with roasties and everything! Best Birthday Ever!
And Merry Christmas! God bless us, everyone! *beats the shit out of Tiny Tim*

Wow. It's nearly Christmas. I would be sorry that I'm passing it up. But I can't say I am. I'm not even sure I like the people I celebrate it with anymore...I'm positive I don't like one. And whether they even like me is a mystery. I'm perfectly content with spending the anniversary of my birth with people who actually love and like me for me. Specifically, my dad. I can say my opinion, whatever that may be, and I won't get told to never attempt serious conversation. I can fit in and I'll never be put second to anyone else. And I know that the love will never stop. It's a shame that it isn't always like that.
And thats.....time! Okay, my daily gripe is over. Now go to your kitchen or go to Hell.

Why is it that people aren't feeling the love anymore?
I don't think I can face another day at school. I'm really tired. And I'm pissed off at some of my "friends". I wonder what I can do. Nothing. I could hate everyone, but that requires energy, energy I am lacking.

Run. Jump. Stand outside naked at night. Watch the moon. Feel the wind. Share butterfly kisses with no one. Make super sugary Kool-Aid. Forgive people who've done nothing wrong. Condemn those who hurt you to a life of pain. Cry. Laugh. Brush your hair. Smile at bus drivers. Talk to animals and plants. Break things. Let candles burn to the base. Never eat packets of salt unless you have a strong stomach. Watch reality TV shows and diss the participants. Play every ring tone on your cell to annoy people. Sing. Blink. Bite your lip. Hate. Love.
Run.

Well. What a lovely surprise.
I didn't want a cell phone. I didn't want an MP3 CD player. But I got them. They are bitching.
And my Nanny gave me 50 pounds! Which is....over $150.00. Anyone wanna go Sanrio Cayuutenessing with me?

Tired and cold+Sleep and blanket=Happy Kat curled up on the couch.

It made me sick today. A stupid bitch from my drama class-you know, the kind that never pays attention, does any work, and you wonder why they signed up for that class-and one of her friends got on the bus. I heard the friend say "I'm a quarter Mongolian...whatever that is." I wanted to scream "It's right NEXT TO CHINA! You don't even know what culture you are descended from? How did you get this far without knowing where MONGOLIA is? Do you even know where CHINA IS?!" Sorry...that really bugged me.

Hey, all you middle aged floozie women! Need a facelift? Low on cash? Just get your hair french braided by my mother. I swear...I can't close my top eyelids and my eyebrows are somewhere near my hairline. By appointment only.

Damn right I shant. I have one thousand things to do, and not a lot of time to do them in.
My first major homework assignment gave me a major headache. But that's because I was writing in the dark, without my glasses on. But still.

I'd forgotten how fun it was to be tickled.
I'm a bit sad. I'm getting older. I made a depressing discovery. I no longer like the taste of Oreos or Chips-a-hoy creme snackwiches. Whatever happened to the little one who clutched a teddy bear at all times and ate food that I wouldn't touch now with a barge pole, or food that glowed in the dark or sparkled or something.
Oh well. I'm growing up, and I'm glad. Just because my taste buds have matured into snack-rejecting little bastards, nothing is stopping me playing on swingsets. I am the Queen of the Playground!

I had a weird dream. Maybe sleeping sitting up was it, or hunger, or something. Sitting in the theatre. Sleeping. I had weird thoughts, and I think I was having a dream about ponies when I heard footsteps. Next thing I knew Marina was stadning on that stairs asking if I wanted to be alone. I shook my head and she talked with me. I wish I could remember my pony dream.
And I sincerely hope I get moved out of Mrs Halbauer's Nazi math class. She taught us a whole new method of integers, and I was completely baffled. And she is just...a bitch in general.
Mr Gamache is a bad teacher. Not only his teaching method. He's just really boring. And that reindeer head looming just over the kid next to me, waiting for the right moment...TO POUNCE! Except not pounce. Fall. And the kid next to me will be killed by the reindeer landing on his head, and I will get an antler in the eye. It's named Rudolph.

Today is my day to gripe.
I'll say and think whatever the Hell I want. Just because you don't agree with me, doesn't mean I'm wrong, or that you are, or that I'm right, or that you are. Simple as that. I stand by what I said.

It needs to rain. This unbearable evening heat needs to stop.
Black Comedy is a great script. I hope I get in!

Today is the last day of my lathargic summer. Last night, holding Big Sarah close to try and get rid of the smell of my dad's cigarettes, I listened to the wind in the trees. I almost forgot that I live in an apartment complex where the people upstairs play loud ass music and the woman next door comes home high. I heard the wind, and the voices of lonely people riding it. It was a comforting roar. It was the sound of the Gods breathing. It was the sound of the sea crashing. It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. It made me forget that some of my friends are lousy, and that I failed art. Everything was perfect.
Perfectly perfect.

I will not rest until I have my pillow!
*takes a two hour nap*
Okay, I lied.

Going to...explode.
Xenosaga is an excellent game...provided that you remember to save before major events and not get killed by the aliens. I have to go back to almost the beginning! I hate it when I'm handed a lemon. I don't like lemons.
Dinner is in the oven and I am starving. Hooray for nutrition!

GODDAMMIT, I WANT MY BUNNY!
I realized last night, and this is odd, I actually have quite a few rabbit toys. Even a little bobbly head one from Mexico. They're all really cute and cuddly, and both of my head honchos, who run the SAA, are bunnies. Big Sarah and Big Bubba. This may sound really lame to you, but I am getting to a point. Before last night, as I arranged my many teddies, I noticed this mass amount of simply adorable stuffed animal rabbits, and realized "Whoa...rabbits are one of my favourite domestic animals." This is significant because I didn't even know this about myself. And I can't imagine what I don't know about other people. I use this phrase with extreme caution, because some people are so transparent, but other people, strangers and distant friends, are a mystery to my mind. I wonder what their favourite animals are, and if they even know. Maybe they like rabbits too.

Don't you love the way your pillow smells? Like so many tears, like your hair, like the delicious scent of sleep, like memories of dozing in the sun, like candy you ate as a child, like your clothes dryer, like air, like cotton, like cat fur, like you?
I miss Big Sarah. I forgot her at my dad's house. It's like losing your baby blanket, except mine is a bunny pillow. She has this lovely little soft patch under her chin where she stayed as soft as the day I got her (Christmas, 1993). Maybe being sentimental over a pillow is silly to you, but to me, it is comfort and security. Inside this fifteen-year-old-teenager, beats the heart of a six year old girl who lost her bunny.

Before we move, I'm going upstairs and shoving a dead rat into the mailbox of the people upstairs. University boys, around 23-25, and almost every night, LOUD, AMATURE, THUMPING ROCK MUSIC. And no matter how many times we ask them to turn it down, or call the office or whatever, and they just totally ignore us. Isn't it after three warnings, they get evicted? Christ, I want to cram that guitar and/or sterio right up their ass.

I have one last thing to say on the matter at hand.
Well, I hope everyone has a fucking good laugh at my expense, because I would simply hate for this extremely funny situation to go to waste.
And I never want to breath another word about it.

Even though I am really really REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF, I get an odd sense of satisfaction about the fact that I was right. About you, about the one you love, about the way you think of me. I was right. I pass Go, I collect 200 dollars, I feel a grinding pain in my stomach.
And you are right. I'm not in love with you either. But I was. And that is what cuts my soul.

Well, I have found the outfit I am going to wear on the first day of school. Hooray for pretty skirts.
I find myself thinking alot about life these days. It is good and bad. My actual life is good, with lots of friendly faces and brilliant blue skies. Unforetunately, it isn't always like this. What a terrible shame.

I don't think I want anything anymore. I thought I wanted you, but you aren't right for me, because I mean nothing to you. Oh well. Life continueth.
The new school year looms before me, promising much education and laughs, but also heart ache and tears. Oh well. Life continueth.
I want to run in a field full of flowers with all my artistic creations, because they are devoted to me. But they do not exist. Oh well. Life continueth.

Bowling for Columbine is a great movie. At one point, I actually felt the vomit rise. It was awful and wonderful. When Charleton Heston dies, Anthony and I are going to have a party. And I hope Anthony won't be late. AHEM.
Anyway, today was fun, and full of good food and Engrish. T'was a blast. If I had more money, I would do the same tomorrow.

Well, well, well.
Okay, I'm done.

I hate days like these. I really honestly do.
At least I know what to do with my day tomorrow, I have some business to attend to.

Today, I shopped. It was crappy, as I have little money, my mother is mad at me for some stupid reason, and we are not going for sushi, which was the WHOLE DAMN POINT! My idiot mother promised that we would go back in FREAKING JANUARY!!! Oh, forget it. Anyway, in order to console myself, I bought my own damn Sanrio cayuuteness, considering my birthday is cancelled due to lack of interest. The MSN countdown will still continue. Because I have nothing better to do.

Tomorrow, I shop.
And frankly, I'm a little mad at you all lately. I'm mad that you are not always the friends you should be, I'm mad that you are mad at me, I'm mad that I have no money of my own, I'm mad that the people upstairs play stupid loud amature rock music.
Tomorrow, I shop.

Okay, time for appologies, in alphabetical order:
Anthony: I'm sorry for teasing you. I hope you won't hurt me with a tire iron upon our next meeting.
Body: I'm sorry for negelcting you lately. I promise to take better care of you. After this bowl of ice cream.
Crescent Heights: I'm sorry for that graffiti I left on the side of the bathroom stall. But sometimes I hate you.
Dog of my future: I'm sorry of naming you Ugly. But it has to be done.
Emily: I'm sorry for trying to get you to tell me stuff, but I just wish it was different. Oh well.
Fruitfly I just killed: I'm sorry for killing you. You are defenseless against me, and I had no right to destroy you.
God: I'm sorry for not believing in you, but you are kinda a jerk. Don't send me to Hell.
H Word: I'm sorry for not drawing you as much as I should. I'm gonna be really casual aka lazy about it.
Idiots of the world: I'm sorry you are idiots. Not my problem, though.
JC Penny: I'm sorry for never getting to know you before I destroy you. I hate you eternally.
Kate: I'm sorry for hating you all through Junior High. I still wouldn't cross the road to piss on you if you were on fire.
LIFE: I'm sorry you are such a boring game. Maybe if I had other board games to drive me nuts it would be different.
Marcey: I'm sorry for your good news, because for me, it is bad news. And I'm sorry for faking happiness for you.
NOMUF: I'm sorry that you consist of only two people. And one of those member is kinda mad at me I think.
Octopus: I'm sorry for eating your babies and arms at the Sumo Lounge. If it's any consolation, you're delicious.
Poe: I'm sorry for squishy facing you. Luckily, you are getting weak and feeble in your old age, so you cannot lash back.
Quaint English village: I'm sorry I don't live in you. I wish I did, but you have no opportunities for me.
Road to the future: I'm sorry that you are hard to walk. At least you are vaguely walkable.
Sarah pillow: I'm sorry that Em thinks you have scabies. I will never ever stop sleeping on you.
Tigers: I'm sorry you are endangered. I will do all I can to stop poaching, as long as I don't have to get off the couch.
Unmentionables: I'm sorry people think you are taboo to be seen. You're only poor innocent underwear.
Viscious rabid animals: I'm sorry that you get put down. It isn't your fault you have a terrible scary disease.
Wild flowers: I'm sorry people are not allowed to pick you. You are very pretty.
Xylophones: I'm sorry I never learnt to play you. You are possibly the most childish instrument ever.
Zebras: I'm sorry that you are hideously abused. Your beautful striped hide copied, dyed pink, and put on a cowboy hat.
Okay, well, I think I have abolished any sins/guilt. If you are not on this list, either I have not done anything to you, or I don't feel like appologizing. Lets see if you can figure it out.

Poor Anthony. I am a tease, but with the love.
Well, I am tired, but I still have things to do, so I must be brief.
Okay I'm done here.

Nothing to do. Absolutely nothing to do. Except sit and wait for Saturday, when I will ingest sushi until all the acid in the fish and rice eats a hole through my stomach. What fun.
Oh, and Em, dear, you have my money. Not urgent business, but I'm going to need it back before my mother realizes, heheh!

When I get something, something important, that I really need for medical purposes, that my parents paid for, I excpect it to work. And when it doesn't, I kill people.

I was thinking today, that I would like to live in London. I really miss it, and I haven't really talked about it since November. When we went I wasn't sick of the rain by that point, and it was tremendous fun running from building to building in the rain, and falling into the lobby of some uptown pub, to the welcomes of friendly barmen, as opposed to those skinny brainless women they have pressing themselves on you in a Canadian restaurant.
And it was so big! When we flew into Heathrow, Mom pointed out all the landmarks along the Themes, and it still expanded for miles, ten times bigger than Calgary. All the buildings are intermingled. There was an old-about seventeenth century-scary looking hospital with gargoyles on the door, and dusty black windows that you expect to look up see a lost spirit drifting past, with a butchered stomach and blue translucent guts spilling out of them, and all the while, you are standing on the street next to the Starbucks kiosk, in front of the Underground station, which has no front wall onto the street and you can hear all the hustle and bustle within. The best part was a woman in full costume, from the London Dungeon, dressed as a hooker from the Jack the Ripper exhibit ordering coffee and smiling at me. She hurried off and dissapeared behind a double decker bus. I looked for her in the London Dungeon. She accused me of commiting unnatural crimes against animals...as part of her script, mind you. From the top of St Pauls, I saw everything, and when I saw the Old Baileys, the famous court, I felt justice.
At the Tower, I watched the ravens, and how they are superstitiously linked to the Tower. Something about if the ravens leave the Tower of London will fall. I gave one raven a chip. And we saw Henry the VIII's armour. He was obviously compensating for something! I felt special, walking where royaltly had walked, and taking a picture of an Olde English toilet.
When we went with mom she took us to the London equivalent of 17th ave. It was a lot better and a lot more of a culture shock at night. Lots of homeless people, but they were all nice. Not drunk or stoned or pestering. They didn't really beg for money, all they wanted was conversation. There was one girl, about nineteen with a big shaggy dog and she had a bloodied up face. Everyone was really kind to her, offering her food and mopping up her blood with tissues, and I knew she wasn't thinking "Great, now I get to rake in the cash!". She was genuinly hurt, and when the police arrived, they didn't just throw her in the police car, but they helped her up, took her dog by the leash, and led her slowly to a nearby pharmacy. I saw her again later, with a gauze bandage on her face and a small smile as she held her canine companion close and talked to a woman who wore upper class clothes and wore expensive jewelry. I gave her five pounds. Her dog licked my hand.
We went into a store and went shopping. A boy, of about twelve, was trying to steal something, but the alarms at the doors went off. His older brother started swearing and hitting the kid. The kid didn't cry, he knew he had done wrong. The older brother retrieved the merchandise and handed it carefully back to the woman at the front desk. I watched as the kid stared at the floor, but I knew he would be okay. When the brother came back, he wrapped his arm around the boy and led him out, still shouting and swearing, but comforting him as well. I was surprised how everything went back to normal. No police, no guns, no nothing. It was like the Londoners all had this understanding of each other, so they didn't get their feathers ruffled over the relatively small stuff, like a small sorry kid.
When we went to London the second time with my dad and Mick, we did a lot of the same things, but still only seeing a tiny part of the great city. We saw Pudding lane, where the Great Fire of London started in a bakery, and the monument to it. It wasn't a big dressed up thing either. Mick, Meagan and I wouldn't have found it out if we hadn't walked to the bridge.
The trains were fun. The Undergrounds were interesting, standing on the station, with pidgeons the size of badgers flying in the tunnels, pale from the lack of sunlight. My mom told me that in WWII, people would cram down here, as it doubled as a bomb shelter for the night. I could imagine it. The Overground trains were exceptionally nice, with men in green uniforms and those old train hats, and a big old station, with high high high ceilings and panes of glass that were so muggy with white smoke I could see through them, but sun still leaked down. When we raced along the platform, almost missing the train, I imagined women in late nineteenth century clothes scrambling after their husbands, doing as we did now. And the trains offered hot food and liquor and snacks and fine desserts. And it was so yummy. I remember on the way back to Ascot with Mick, I was tired, and dozing against him, and I felt like I was content to stay on that train with him for all enternity.
I'm not sure why I am talking about London now. Maybe I miss Mick and Clare, and want to see their baby daughter Niamh. Maybe I miss my family there. Maybe I miss the rough community feeling, maybe I miss that woman and her dog. I miss them all. I wish I wasn't here.

Wow. Today was fun. Fun like the fun. Except I got very close to having a fucking concussion.

I sneezed! After 28 hours of holding it in, I sneezed. Hah, Val, my nose rings remains as it was, embedded in my left nostril! Although it was a mouth sneeze...which...now my nose is bleeding...shit.

I still have to fucking sneeze.

Something is going to happen...
Mousey attacked Poe or something last night. He has been hissing and growling all day, running into corners and hiding under things. I do hope they stop. They usually get along so well...what do they know that I don't?

Man, this is so cool...I can feel air passing through the side of my nose. The only problem is that it is a little sore, so I have been containing my sneeze for about nine hours now. It didn't hurt, but the procedure was odd. It bled, so I had about three Q-tips rammed up my nose for a while. Emily, is that stupid enough for you?

Blog, blog blog, blog blog blog blog blog blog!
Oh, I am terribly excited! For tomorrow, and then for Friday. I am super joyous that I got my purple plaid swim shorts back, as they are super cool! Muahahaha!

Val, I hope you have fun in Peru, and although I know it is a terrible thing to say, I kinda want that "The 'H' Word" senario to happen...with the love, of course!

Not dying, found my swim shorts!

Ugh, I think my brain is going to explode now. GARRR, WHY IS MY MOTHER A NAZI?!

Tomorrow is the day! Woohoo!

Listen to the Thunder God sing his earthly alto, and watch the Lightning Goddess dance like a spirit released. Smell the rain as the heavans cry. It remind me of everything wonderful and deadly.

Aaaarrrrrgh! Dying! I have searched high and low for my purple plaid swimming shorts, but I cannot find them anywhere! These are like...my super shorts! I probably left them at my dads, but if I have lost them I swear I am going to cry! THEY ARE SO COOL!
Well, I think so anyway.

Admitedly, I'm a little annoyed. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's a little annoying.
Anyway, I'm going out. Yayay.
So tired, and I wish that woman would shut the fuck up.

Beebo, Only Beebo

You shine through the black when things are bad
Beebo, Only Beebo
You make the rain stop when I'm sad
Beebo, Only Beebo
You make me laugh and make smile
Beebo, Only Beebo
You make me think that life is worthwhile
Beebo, Only Beebo
But most importantly of all
Beebo, Only Beebo
You make the best Dead Baby of all
Beebo, Only Beebo!

For Beebo.

This is a crappy movie if ever I saw one.
I want it to rain.
I am not doing anything, to the best of my knowledge, until Wednesday. And on that day, I will get my nose pierced. Hooray!
Yeah, I'm stupid.

This has to be said. It just has to be.
I cannot understand you. I think that I have gotten a sign, that the hints are true, but then I talk to you, and I simply can't bring myself to ask...maybe for fear that I will be told something I don't want to hear, but in any case, I feel stupid and rejected and sad. Maybe I will ask, and you will tell me that I was right, but it is more likely that you will say it wasn't me you were talking about. I fear that my heart might just break. Especially because it could easily be me, but it could also be someone else. Maybe I am lonely, I cannot tell. But this must be known. When I am in your company, or just chatting on line, I feel so warm and loved. Thankyou for that, at least.

Ms Emily's Mom, I love you. So very very very much. Can you feel the love!?
Sorry Em, I called you, and you weren't home, and you mom asked how I was, and I said I was fine, and I asked if you guys were moving, she said maybe, then she talked about your dad, and she said *quote*He is kind of an asshole, what with that drinking problem*end quote* and I was sort of stumped, so I laughed a little, she laughed too, and I said that I hoped she had a good summer, and we moved onto this atrociously hot weather, and she said to call you about six and I said I would so I will, and then we said our goodbyes, and here I am, blogging about it.
Hooray.

Beebo, your phone, it is stupid!
Must...find...source...of...cold...
But my heart is pleasantly warm, because someone out there loves me.

Ugly the dog.

Domoh Arigatou, Mistah Roboto!
If anyone is terribly bored, please get in touch with me. I will demand you to come and swim with me. It is awfully sad to swim alone...so very sad.

So far, "The 'H' Word" goes well. Anthony, Emily, and Val, you are all regular characters. The reason it is called "The 'H' Word" is because in every comic, someone says the word hate. Not in a bad way, in a humourous way. I have done three episodes thus far...I am going now to do another. Whee!

Why does my house smell like artificial grape flavour?
Okay, I hath returneth, and apart from my less than graceful entry over the balcony, and the fact that my house smells like grape, all apears to be well on the Mothership.
Camping was okay, if not a little smokey. Got to spend time with my dad, but then she showed up, and it was less fun. But then I came home.
Nothing really eventful happened. On the way home, a mosquito flew into my right nostril and I snorted, then clamped my nose shut, thusly squishing the bug. When I blew my nose, there was a bug on the kleenex. And I think the bitch bit me...Bitch!

*sings* Can't wait to move can't wait to move!
I am so sick of that...that woman! I swear, there is this woman who either lives next to us or close by, and every single day she yells at her kids, who are under ten at least. It doesn't matter where she lives, because she screams so loudly, that we can hear her through the open windows. I want to yell out my window to her to just shut the fuck up. Does she really think that yelling at her children will make them do their chores the next day? I would just laze about.
And I also cannot wait to move because every night there is a siren. Not in the apartment complex-it is quite nice here-but there is an ambulance station nearby so they usually get escorted by the police downtown, and thusly they wake me up. I really appreciate the police and everything, but it would be nice to get some sleep uninterrupted.
The new house...it is so beautiful. We're having chocolate brown carpets.

Yesterday I went and watched "Do you bite your thumb at me sir?" at Shakespeare in the Park. It was funny, and it filled up the evening that would otherwise be a void of watching television and eating the chocolate icecream of death.
Mmmm...death icecream...

We are getting a piano.
I'm not entirely sure why.
All I know is that in grade six, I wrote a story about a piano.
The piano made a man go insane.
He killed himself.
And my mother is making me take lessons.
Well...okay, she is teaching me.
I do want to learn.
But my mother is, in fact, a Nazi.
I asked why she wanted to teach me piano.
She said "Because my parents taught me to play piano."
"So, it's like a legacy, then, isn't it, Mom?"
"Yes.
And I want revenge!"
Naturally, that scared me a good deal.
But it will be nice to have some musical talent.
Apart from choir.
Ms. Strome.
Now she's a NAZI.

Christ sakes! My mother feeds my friends better than she feeds me! HER OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!!!

Well...that's an interesting sentence to hear first thing in the morning...
It's 11:30. The sun is out, the birds are chirbing their blithe songs, and of course, it is interupted by the high-pitched shrill of the phone. No matter...
"Hello?"
"Hello darling!"
"Oh, hi Mom!"
"Are you up?"
"*pause, followed by a sarcastic tone*No, mom, I'm still asleep."
"*laugher*Well, of course you are up."
"So, what can I do for you?"
"Katie, are you drunk?!"
"What? NO!"
"You sound drunk!"
"Mom, I hate alchoholic drinks, and I wouldn't drink it first thing in the morning anyway!"
"But you sound drunk!"
"Mom, I'm still wearing my retainers, that's why!"
"Oh."
"*mutters*'Am I drunk?' Oh please!"
"Okay, well, I'll see you tonight. If you guys are home for dinner they'll be some waiting for you."
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you too."
"Bye."
"Bye, sweetheart."

Then my sister comes in.
"Hey, Kate, who was on the phone?"
"The Pope."
"Really?"
"Mother."
"What did she want?"
"Well, we never really got around to that. Before she could tell me what to do, she accused me of being drunk."
"*pause*Are you?"
"Meagan, what on this green earth makes you think I would be drunk!?!"
"You do sound a little drunk."
"*bares metal laden teeth*It's these!"
"*laughter*Okay, sorry."

Well, these teeth aren't going to stay straight on their own. Bastards.

I have expanded my friendship bracelet collection by two. I love them all so much. It is like wearing personal rainbows on my wrists.
Today we went shopping. I got new shoes. Nice comfy sneakers. And yes, I went to OLD NAVY. I don't care if anyone thinks that I am a "corporate whore", because they have good prices, and I refuse to wear clothes that I don't feel make me look as good as I can. No, I'm not vain. I take pride in my appearance. Screw you all.
On that note, tomorrow I am going thrifting. I will mix rich and poor, new and vintage, and my own personal flair so that everyone can look at me and go "That is Kat"...as opposed to now, when they go "Arrrgh! Sweet Jesus, my virgin eyes, what is that thing?!"
*looks at wrists*
All the pretty colours...

I remembered my dream. It was a school related dream. It was a good dream, actually, but it has sparked some questions.
WHEN DOES SCHOOL START!?
WHERE DO THE GRADE ELEVENS GO!?
WHAT TIME OF DAY!?
WHO IS GOING TO BE IN MY HOMEROOM!?
WHY DON'T I KNOW THIS!?
Arrrgh, stupid dream. Way to confuzzle me!

Okay, I have slept in to the reasonable hour of 12:14, and now it is time to get up, remember my dream, and enjoy life.
Or, alternatively, I could just sit at the computer and read blogs and online comics. Hooray for vibrantly orange Hello Kitty.

Tomorrow I will...sleep in.

I went camping. I came home. I was dirty.
No...I mean, when people hear dirty, they think just a little bit of grit under the nails, or a soft fine settling of dust. I was GRIMY. I hadn't showered in three days, and within those three days I swam in dirty water, got my feet covered in mud, rolled in the dirt, lifted logs, took garbage to the dump, and generally made a mess of myself.
I had a long long shower upon my return. I am so clean I squeak. Hoorah for extensive personal heigiene...which I did not spell right. Oh well.

Excuse me while I try to hold in my vomit, as I have discovered the Sharon Osbourne now has her own show. They all make me sick.

Well, me and Mom had a fight. I give up. I really do.

Apart from that and a whopping bad heat headache, life is okay.

My sister gave me a pretty hair wrap. I feel so piratey!
I don't know what I am going to do for a while...probably contemplate clothes I could wear...and draw...and make more friendship bracelets for me, myself, and I.
I really hope they let me volunteer at the SPCA. I have to go through a screening in October. But I think they'll let me. I'm not scary! SQUISHY FACE!!!
Arrrrgh...what is this pain in my jaw?!

Why is Poe being so affectionate? What happened to the surly, loner, wary cat, who shrank down to the ground so I couldn't pet him. He is being so cuddly...He rubs up against my ankles and purrs and drools...I miss the old Poe.
SQUISHY FACE!
Oh yeah, he's back.

Today was really refreshing. Any bad thoughts my brain may have been harvesting seemed to float away, like a morsel of popcorn flying in the breeze. And I saw Pirates of the Carribean again and Johnny Depp is just...be still my beating heart!
Seriously, Anthony, you have increased my emotional debt by much today, but I am thankful. Please get me Sanrio cayuuteness for my birthday. And I owe you big time! I am so getting you a present!
Wootwootwootwoot! Arrrgh! Tofu and Seaweed! Wesley!

I have applied to become a volunteer at the Humane Society. It will be rewarding, but terribly difficult. Every animal that comes in, I'll want to take home, and mom said if I ever brought home another pet without discussing it she would kill me. But, after careful deliberation, I have decided that should there be an animal simply screaming to come home with me, I'll tuck it under my hat and take it home. What Mom doesn't know can't hurt me, although wearing a Great Dane on my head might. It just makes me terribly sad to think that they actually are lacking volunteers there. I mean, how can people not want to help poor lonely homeless familyless animals? Everytime I see that commercial...you know? The one that is for the Petland Rescue a Pet program? Well, they have all these black and white photos of pets, a litter of kittens in an alley, a dog hiding under a car...with flashes of words like "Every year ----- number of animals are saved by our services" and then they show a little dead puppy, and it says "Others were not so lucky" and I just fall apart and cry for at least three minutes. The music is HEART WRENCHING! So anyway, I'm going to save some animals because they NEED me! I can't believe people cannot find the time to visit the animals at the SPCA and just...love them....
Where is my cat? I need to SF her.....
SF=Squishy Face

Whoa...Pirates of the Carribean was really...awesome. Johnny Depp was just incredible, and I am so in love with Geoffrey Rush. Orlando Bloom can kiss my ass. But the rest of it was amazing. The skelingtons where scary and gross, but very well done. I want to see it again. Wow.

You know what is a great word? Swashbuckling.
You know what is a bad word? Sadness.
You know what is normal? This content feeling.
You know what is weird? I got up at 10:30 today.
You know what is fun? Playing on swings.
You know what is not fun? Math class.
You know what is a good song? Sunny Day by the Abandoned Pools.
You know what is a bad song? Anything by the BeeJees.
You know what is delightful? Cherry cheesecake with whipped cream.
You know what is disgusting? That flesh eating disease I just saw on TV...icky.
You know what is yummy? Sushi.
You know what is gross? Eggplant
You know what is a great colour? Purple.
You know what is a terrible colour? Pink
You know what is funny? "It is unforgivable...unforgivable...UNFORGIVABLE!"
You know what is not funny? When people cry at night.
You know what is relaxing? Sleeping in a patch of sunshine.
You know what is stressful? Finding money.
You know what is heart warming? That special someone.
You know what is heart breaking? Someone leaving.
You know what is a cool hobby? Making friendship bracelets.
You know what is a strange hobby? Clipping your cats nails.
You know what is a wonderful feeling? Warmth.
You know what is a terrible feeling? Pain.
You know what is a feeling I am having right now? .....Nope.

This song makes me cry, in the good way. It makes me want to sing it loudly when we step into the new house and just hug my family and tell them I'm proud of them and I love them so so so so so much. It's perfect, because when my dad left, my mother and my sister and myself had to completely start over, and give up everything. Our dog, our house, or pride, and now we're getting it all back. It feels like there is a light on the horizon that is brighter than ever! Forgive me for my corniness, but I guess that not many people have felt like this, and if you have, doesn't it feel.....wonderful?

Always Know Where You Are

It's good to see the sun and feel this place,
This place I never thought would feel like home.
And I ran forever, far away,
I always thought I'd end up here alone.
Somehow the world has changed,
And I've come home,
To give you back the things they took from you.
And I feel you now,
I'm not alone,
I'll always know where you are!
When I see myself,
I'll always know where you are!
Where you are...
And I found something that was always there,
Sometimes its gotta hurt before you feel it.
But now I'm strong and I won't kneel,
Except to thank who is watching over me.
And somehow I feel so strong,
And I've begun,
To be the one I'd never thought I'd be.
And I feel you now,
I'm not alone,
I'll always know where you are!
When I see myself,
I'll always know where you are!
Where you are...
Now,
It's all so clear,
And I believe,
That everythings been up and up to me.
And I feel you now,
I'm not alone,
I'll always know,
I'll always know where you are!
When I see myself,
I'll always know where you are!
When I feel the sun,
I'll always know where you are!
When I see myself,
I'll always know where you are!
Where you are!
~BBMak

Wooo...woo....woooooooo
Well, I found a lot of cayuute hats! I put them all in a basket. It is my hat basket. I named it Clarence. Clarence the Hat Basket.

I am quite tired. I am a little sunburnt, so I guess my lathargicness is due to that. But nevermind that.
I had an odd dream last night. And not a very pleasant one. It was about my new house...Meagan was in the room I have claimed as mine, and she had a hat rack with all my hats on it. I wanted to get into my room so I could tell Meagan, who was standing at the window laughing, to get her stuff out because I had dibbs on this room. But all her stuff was unpacked, and when I tried to step through the doorframe, my cat got in the way. It was weird. But I know in real life I will get the room I want. Because I will curse my sister if she sets foot in there. Muahahahahaha.
I will call some people and demand they come swimming with me sometime this week.

Arrgh! They totally stole that title! That stupid new "reality show" about gay romance is coming, called "Boy meets Boy", which is so stolen from BmB online comic! SUE, SANDRA DELETE! SUE!

Cupcake mix is yummy, whether baked or still in its delicious half liquid form...
My poor kitties...they're dying from the heat. I'm glad I don't have a fur coat. I really want to shave them. Except not.
I want to go swimming. Hooray.
Whoa...that chocolate chip tasted yummy!
I also need to get my SIN...I think Greed or Sloth would be best...but Pride would do nicely...
Now I must do some commisioned art. It's so cool. I'm on commision!

No Paticular Mood.

Nope...today is an empty day. Sun shining, house boiling-I can't find the fan-chores to be done. I wish the new house was ready now.

Squishy Face!

Leg pain. Heart happy.
The financing went through! This means that we are for sure moving! Huzzah!
When I see myself
I'll always know where you are
~BBMak, Treasure Planet theme.
This makes me extremely happy, as one can imagine. I am joyous. Even though today on the river was tiring and annoying and hot and early, but oh well.
I just...this song is the embodiment of what I am feeling.

And now for a story.

Back in the time when the sea was swift and its crests were high, and the trees were still strong and tall and healthy, their was a strange creature. The creature was the only one of its kind, and in fact, it truly believed that it was the only creature under the brilliant sun. This made the creature ugly, nervous, and odd. It would twitch and snarl at nothing. Everything scared it, from the slightest ruffling of a new leaf, to the violent crashing of thunder as it pounded overhead. The creature would attack bits of cotton or petals floating on the air. It was scared to leave the home it had made in the forest. An odd being indeed.
One day the creature was attacking a small rock, when the rock tumbled over a small cliff onto the sandy shore below. The being did not pay attention to where it was going, and followed its prey over the ledge and scrambled over the beach. It looked up, muttering to itself, growling and griping. It was only a short distance from the ocean. For once, the creature was not suspicious. It was curious. It inched forward. The ocean made a sound the thing had never heard before. The breeze whipped its scraggly black fur that covered its hunched form. It was different from the wind in the forest, which was warm, and scented like soil. This brisk air had the taste of salt and sounded like a deafening, pleasant roar. The creature was enticed and allured. It glanced around warily, checking for another species that might attempt to steal its new treasure. A lifetime in isolation made it fume at the thought of something apart from itself. As it scanned the horizon, it saw a small pool full of calm still water. The creature lumbered over to it, leaving its tracks in the sand. It sat next to the pool, and quivered. Dare it look into the depths? It sat there for hours. It didn't even move so it could growl at the stars, as usual. Finally, as the sun crept slowly over the horizon, it looked into the pool. The pool was shallow now, as the tide was out, but the creature could still see its reflection shimmering in the weak sunlight.
The creature made no sound. It was frightened and angry as it gazed with wild eyes at this new form in its realm. The creature fell in to attack, but as it did, a huge wave came crashing down over it and drowned the hideous creature.

The end.

Hooray for odd stories. Boo for broken toe. Boo.

I think I have a broken toe. I mean, I can walk and stuff, but should the nail be turning black and yellow and blue? I thought not.
Today was fun, but the evening did not impress me much. Oh, not Shakespeare in the Park. That was great. Wet birthday hugs for everyone. But sitting here now I feel I didn't really accomplish much. Oh well. I have a lifetime to accomplish things. Tomorrow I will accomplish being a cranky-pants because my dad is picking me up so early in the morning. So very very early. 8:30 AM is a time for morning larks, not slugs like me.
My hip hurts so much, and I blame Anthony. If you hadn't brought me the delicious chocolate, I wouldn't have slipped on the hill trying to hug you. And then you tackled me. You bastard. With the love.
Have the happiest of birthdays, Keeler. You deserved that wet cold hug.

Don't you think it is so hilarious when people are really...immodest? I mean, really? Anthony, you know what I am talking about.
It makes me want to yell in their faces, but at the same time, have an enormous grin as I shout, because you are finally telling them what they don't want to hear or what they know and are ignoring, and it feels so good! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, what else is there to talk/type about?
Um...nothing except that life is good. Not great, but really really good. For all you miserable people out there, I feel sorry for you. But that is your stupid problem. Not mine. The only problem I have is getting Poe to hold still enough so I can Squishy Face him. Poor cat...poor poor cat. SQUISHY!!!

Tomorrow will be a lark. I will make myself pretty. Hooray. Although after the mascara incident today-Anthony-I will avoid touching my face. It might be warm and sweaty. Eeew.
And Anthony, I'm sorry, but your face is impossible to put make-up on. I mean, I'm no make-up artist, I hate the stuff, but I know a few facts. And no. No.

Happy Birthday to Keeler. Don't choke on happy birthday cake!

Well, today was enjoyable. Anthony woke me up. I was very squinty.

Val, normally, this is where I "RIP YOUR EMPTY HEAD FROM YOUR PATHETIC BODY AND STAMP IT INTO THE GROUND", but because you said "butter-hut" I will forgive you.

You know you have a love problem when you're scetching in your book, drawing someone you really like but can only be with in your dreams...then, it's like your body is working but your brain is sitting watching, going; "What the fuck are you up to?". You find yourself leaning forward, almost touching the paper with your lips, but just before you feel its grainy texture, your brain kicks in and instead of kissing it, you just put your forehead on the page and cry into the early hours of the morning. The entire day passes, and you think nothing of it, but you know, deep inside, that you will be doing the same thing tonight.
But it gives one hope. Love is alive. I love love.

When we talk, I feel good.

Another sunny day

That's another good song by the Abandoned Pools. Thank God for finally obtaining Kazza so I can download and share files of pirated music. Arrgh, pirating ahoy!
Tomorrow will be fun-tacular. Emily/Anthony, you must ring the doorbell a lot, because I will still be sleeping when you arrive, and thusly, it is up to you to wake me up. I entrust you with this task. Serve me well. Ignore the vibrantly orange Hello Kitty nightshirt.
Little Miss Bootsie, I will avenge you.
SQUISHY FACE!

He's going the distance...
He's going for speed...
She's all alone...
~Cake; The Distance

We built this city...
We built this city on rock and roll!

What a fantastic song. I love it to mucho deatho. Yeah. I don't speak Spanish.
Okay, today was...okay. Nothing good, nothing bad, but tomorrow will be tremendous. My mother and myself are going to sign for the house. IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING! It's very...great.

Marconi plays the mamba...
Listen to the radio...
Don't you remember?
We built this city....
Oh, we built this city on rock and roll!

Man...I am going to go into my closet(s) and organize outfits. Cayuute outfits! Like, my blue Pokemon t-shirt and my brown plaid skirt...and my giant silk shirt with jean capris...oh, and my red tunic thingy! Whoohoo!
I blame this on the Cardcaptor Sakura movie. They wear such adorable clothes! Like, huge hats and chinese dresses. Myuuuuuuu!
Anthony, I need chocolate. I NEED it.

Somehow, Lemon Poppyseed, you make it all better.

The other day at Stampede, I saw Marcey. It totally just made my night. I wanted her to come with me and my sister and her friends to go on rides, but she had to wait for someone, so she couldn't come. Oh well, I have her email address now so there will be much communication!
I don't think I like all the people I used to like. I mean, I don't hate them, but I find people to be annoying and self centered.
Well, back to Stampede. It was great fun. I went on a lot of rides and won some adoreable little cuddly toys. A little angel bear-named Goblin, of course-a teddy bear named Marcey because I won it about two minutes before I met her there, and a little pug dog named Francis Griswald the Third. I also won an angel bear for my sister and a floppy yellow and blue puppy dog for my mom, because I like winning things for people.
Except when those people bug me because I wouldn't go into the haunted houses. Not even the kiddie one. I seriously would have peed my pants in fright. Scary shit is not fun, it is shit.
Shit.

I am making tonnes of friendship bracelets. It is super relaxing, although it tends to cramp my hands after a few hours. I made a super cool one. It is four bands thick and each band is the banner colours of the Hogwarts houses. Red and yellow for Gryffindor, blue and orange for Ravenclaw, black and light yellow for Hufflepuff, and silvery-white and green for Slytherin. I love it so much. It is very pretty, and I made it myself, so it is extra cool.
Shut up, all of you!

Whoohoo! Tomorrow I am going to the Stampede. See, I didn't think I was going to go and then I was all like no, not going, but now I am and I'm going to eat mini donuts until I bloat. Prefferably not ones that have fallen on the ground.

Although Katherine Claire Long certainly doesn't appologize, and she certainly meant everything she said just now, she would like to thank you all for putting up with it momentarily, if you can indeed find the time to stop thinking about yourselves for just a minute. Thankyou for your patience, now proceed "Fuck off and die".
~The Management.

Had...it...up...to...here...head...going...to...explode...can't...hold...in...fustration...must...release...anger...or...I...will...die...cannot...stand...it...anymore...
OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DEPRESSING AND ANNOYING AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF FEELING LIKE THE ONLY PERSON ON THE GOD DAMN PLANET WHO ISN'T WHINING OR COMPLAINING CONSTANTLY AND BEING ALL "OH, MY LIFE SUCKS AND NO ONE LIKES ME" OR "I'M SO TORMENTED MY CHILD HOOD WAS AWFUL NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME I'M A LOOSER LONER PERSON WHO IS REALLY JUST TRYING TO GET ATTENTION" I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HAVE SEEN THINGS NONE OF YOU FUCKING MORONS HAVE EVER SEEN LIKE WHEN MY PARENTS SEPARATED AND MY MOTHER SCREAMED IN MY EIGHT YEAR OLD FACE "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF AND I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU TWO AS WELL BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN'T BORN THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED" AND SHE WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN AND GRABBED A BIG ASS FUCKING KNIFE AND I HAD TO CLING TO HER ARM TO MAKE HER STOP SO DON'T WHINGE AND CRY TO ME ABOUT POOR CHILDHOODS OR SADNESS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT IT GOD I HAVE BEEN UP TO MY NECK IN SHIT AND I STILL MANAGE TO MANTAIN A HAPPY OUTLOOK ON LIFE EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE BLOW ME OFF OR DON'T LIKE ME OR WHATEVER AND ALL YOU BASTARDS AND BITCHES ARE STILL GRIPING ON ABOUT YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF SELFISH ANNOYING BRAINLESS SPINELESS DISGUSTING EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS SO FROM NOW ON I AM NOT GOING TO BE A SHOULDER TO CRY ON OR A GOOD FRIEND OR TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE WORLD I LOVE YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF AND DIE AND IF I EVER HEAR ONE MORE COMPLAINT ABOUT SOMETHING COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUPID I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOUR EMPTY HEAD FROM YOUR PATHETIC BODY AND STAMP IT INTO THE GROUND I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT A GOOD PERSON AND I HAVE BEEN KIND AND GENEROUS AND SUPPORTIVE AND PEOPLE STILL PUT ME SECOND OR IGNORE IT AND GO OFF TO MOAN ABOUT THEMSELVES SOME MORE OH MY GOD I FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

I went swimming at the outdoor pool today. And it felt good.
In the deep end, halfway down to the bottom, sort of suspended, watching my hair float weightlessly around me, swirling in the cool water, and watching the surface glitter and gleam. It is absolutely silent under the water. Feeling my feet touch the pool floor, and staying there. Pressure building in my ears, and the last few bubbles of oxygen are rising from my lips. Then water pushing hard against me as I force myself up and let myself glide, no, fly to the surface, head bent right back, neck craning, waiting for the moment when my nose will break through that liquid-mercury like wall and air will rush into my cramped lungs. A loud splash, the sudden rush of wind in my hair and air in my lungs, and I can hear children laughing and lifeguards yelling and I can feel the sun beating down on me and warming the water close to the surface. I close my eyes. Water drips off my eyelashes, almost like tears. Treading water, remembering the silence, the cool blue, the way my skin looked green with tiny bubble scales, and the way I felt trapped and free, furious and calm, rageful and joyous, surrounded and alone. Nothing but wonderful. I clamber out of the pool, buy an ice cream and watch the fluffy white clouds roll by overhead as the wind dries my skin and the sun tans it brown. I am happy. More than I can say for the rest of you.

And Happy REAL Birthday to Val. Whatever.

The half angel hugged her, and she knew everything was going to be alright. He held her close, and the world around her didn't matter anymore.

How wonderful. How FUCKING wonderful.

It is very curious. Today, I woke up feeling empty. Very very empty. As if someone cracked open my head last night and pulled out all the thoughts and feelings that were stewing away up there, and released them into the world, as opposed to being trapped inside my numb, sleepy skull.
Still, emptiness isn't one of my favourite feelings. Instead of having thoughts running through my mind, I have a stupid song stuck in my head.
It's not even a feeling. I don't want to do anything. Anything. Yesterday, I could think of one million things I wanted to do, and if someone offered me to do them today, I would just shake my head and curl up into a fetal position on my couch and watch mid-day cartoons.
My mom will be home from work soon. I want her to leave me alone.

Well. Now I feel odd.

Why does my room smell like a Hot Stuff? Why?

ARRRRGH! Jesus H Christ, why can't the members of my family LEAVE ME ALONE? Seriously. I specifically request to be left to just sleep in till whenever I wake up, and my mom storms in telling me "It is 11:00, get up, slug!" and I just moan and say under my breath "Why do you have to start doing everything so early and bug me?"
It is especially annoying because I was enjoying an extrememly cool and good Harry Potter dream when she woke me up, and at a super special part! Harry was taking a test and Snape was yelling something and when he looked up to see what was going on I get a "KATHERINE CLAIRE LONG, WAKE UP!" I tried to get the dream back (sometimes I can) but it was not to be. Oh well. I will just have to kill my mother.

Okay, you know that ad? The one for a really annoying CD for kids, with like, "The Itzy Bitzy Spider" and "Knick Knack Paddywhack"? The narrator lady says "What child doesn't love to sing and dance?" My response; A dead one?

It is really nice outside. Happy Birthday to Marina, who I cannot get a hold of to wish it to her properly, but you know, whatever.

*The following scene takes place in my new house*
And now, the moment you have all been waiting for...*drum roll* ALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW ON DOGLETS, THE GENETICALLY MUTATED CREATIONS OF PROFFESORS EMILY KEELER AND KAT LONG!!!
Kat: Now, now, students, settle down, settle down.
Emily: Kat, we're standing in your empty basement.
Kat: I did not hear that. Anyway, class, today we are going to talk about mating animals. Did everyone bring their permission slips? There will be sex.
Emily: Again, there is no one here!
Kat*ignores the latter*: Let's get started. Proffesor Keeler, did you bring the specimen?
Emily: Uh, yeah. Here, Sheba, c'mon, girl.
*Sheba walks in and rolls onto her back, exposing her nine crooked nipples*
Kat: Dude, that never ceases to freak me out.
Emily*defensively*: Fine! Where is your dog?
Kat: He's here. Here, boy! Come here...
*A really ugly dog walks in*
Emily: Fuck, man...just...fuck.
Kat: Don't swear in front of the impressionable youth!
*Gestures to empty room*
Emily: I hate you. Anyway, let us get these two interested in each other...
Kat: Don't tell me, tell the students!
Emily: Jesus Christ. Fine, class, we're going to get these two freak dogs to do each other in a feeble attempt to make a new breed of freak. Doglets.
Kat*claps hands*: Goody! Okay, to the Honeymoon Room!
*Leads dogs to a fort made out of empty boxes*
Kat: And now they will mate. Sheba, stop edging away from my sweet ugly boy! He's harmless! Okay, class dissmissed.
Emily: I am going home.

*One doggy gestation period later, in Kat's garage*
Emily*peering into a big box*: Um, "Proffesor Long"? One of them is dead...
Kat: Val can have that one.
Emily: Hey, does your mom know we're doing this?
Kat: She's at work.
Emily: Yeah, but does she know?
Kat*forcefully*: She's at work! Anyway, welcome back, students. I hope you had a good break. Let us reveal the Doglets!
*Pulls out, one by one, five little Doglets. Ugly, mutated, one is dead*
Emily: This didn't work. Let's go drown them in the pond.
Kat: Where is the proud Mama?
Emily: Sheba is hiding in my bedroom. Where is yours?
Kat: Oh, he's um....well...he went blind.
Emily: Not surprisingly. These things are an eyesore.
Kat: Do you want icecream?
Emily: Yes. Yes I do.

*End*

I dropped a bowling ball on my foot. I lost. I swear to God, next time, we are going to the zoo or something.
I want to write a poem, but I am not sure what to write about. And I don't really feel like leaving my house looking for my muse, because it is allergy season and my nose is a little stuffed up at the moment, making it a tish difficult to breath. I blame my pitiful bowling game on my nose. And physics. Physics hates me.
But nevertheless, I am happy. Well, maybe happy isn't a good word for it....umm...contentment, yeah, that's better. I am content. I was talking to Anthony today on MSN and I realized I was quite stupid a little while ago, actually, quite a while ago, but that now I can see cleary all the faults and things I don't like which I will be sure to avoid in future. I will speak to Anthony more on the matter later.
Well, it has been a pretty good day, I suppose. Could have been worse.
My foot hurts.

I hate bowling. I mean, I like it, but my dad loves it, so whenever we are together we go and bowl. I want to do something else for a change, something I am good at -I always lose at bowling- but my dad always has his heart set on it. Geez, it is so hard. Especially with my muto arm.
Okay, Emily, we so have to breed whatever ugly dog I get with your mutant dog, creating a litter of, not puppies, but Doglets. It will be awesome. Valerie has first dibbs on one of them.

Happy birthday to my mother. I am dead meat. Here is the conversation that transpired yesterday.
"So, Mom, tomorrow is your birthday."
"Yeah."
"You made it this far, brought up two girls almost all alone, and you're still vibrant and full of life! We are so proud!"
"You know, you're right. Thankyou, darling."
"To think, 45 years of life will be achieved tomorrow."
*shouting*"I'M ONLY TURNING 44!!!"
"Oh, GODDAMMIT! Shit, I do this every year! SORRY MOM!!!"
At least I got her a present. Meagan is in deeper sheet than me, if possible, Beebo!

Pain. Unbelievable pain.
She cried, she winced, she moaned, but the torturer was relentless. Every few seconds, searing agony coursed through her nerves, and she twitched as tears sprang to her eyes and forged a salty river down her cheeks. Sometimes the pain was quick, sharp, violent, and other times, it was slow, gut wrenching, and nauseating. Blood ran down her ankles, and her lips were red from her contant biting. The torturer forced her down, suffocating her on the ground, and she felt herself choking through the tears and the pain.
"Ow! Jesus Christ, Mom!"
"Oh, shut up, Katherine!" snapped Kat's mom, yanking the twelfth band aid off of Kat's leg. The hairs were ripped off, making Kat shudder.
"Fuck, this hurts!" Kat cried, lying on her stomach on the floor as her mom slowly pulled the strip of fabric from the sensitive skin on the back of her knee.
"I said, shut up."

I will destroy her. Happy Canada Day.

Arrrrgh Anthony I am sorry! I am so stoopid!

I want to...do something fun.
I am supposedly going to Stampede with some friends. That will be fun. But I feel a little distant from my friends. I suppose we will get together eventually. Geez, it is only the start of summer, and I already miss Marina, Emily, Anthony, and the miscellanious people I hung out with. I last saw Val at Easter. And Sarah! God I miss the little Jew! I did see D a little while ago, but it was too brief a visit to really do much.
Not that I am complaining. I like being free of school. And tomorrow will be fun. HAPPY CANADA DAY, EVERYONE!

I can't help but feel overwhelming joy. I know you all know this, but my family will have purchased a house by the end of July. I don't know how long it has been since I lived somewhere of our own. Many many years, constantly dreaming of a cute little house, and soon it will be so.
Mom is seriously considering getting a house built for us. We looked at the showhome of it, and it was absolutely perfect. A four level split-level, and we can have it custom made too. Man, all I can think of is waking up on a beautiful summer morning, throwing open the curtains, opening the window, and breathing in the fresh neighbourhood air, as opposed to pulling up the blinds, opening the window and listening to the neighbours rat dogs whinge all morning.
The basement will be affectionately known as the Dungeon. It will be fully furnished, and this means that I can have not only a dog but as many friends as I want over at a time.
We will be hosting a house warming party. I don't know who I will invite...Maybe if Satan isn't busy...

The agony is overwhelming. I have so many mosquito bites I could have West Nile a thousand times over, and I have a terrible habit of scratching them until they bleed and form icky scabs and scars. My mother used the only solution she could think of. After many, many, many doses of moisturizer, she slapped band aids over every one....let's see.....
Twenty-three band aids in all. One on my back, three on my left arm, seven on my right leg and twelve on my left. At least I cannot scratch them, but the band aids are pretty itchy too.
I had an odd dream last night. Wonderful. But odd.

Ugh...I love camping, but that was just Hell.

I can't believe how wonderful my life is going to be. My mom figured out my art problem, and my art career still has hope, although I am going to have to work my ass of. On the plus, I get to do C.A.L.M online.
Okay, back to my major point. My mom's credit is good enough to get a mortgage. She is going to look at showhomes this weekend, which is wonderful. The fact that this family, my family, can go to being bankrupt and not having any credit at all, to being able to purchase a new car and house.
I don't think I know anyone who has quite experienced what I remember happening when I was about eleven. We lived in the shittiest neighbourhood in Calgary Housing, and I had a tiny bedroom with a bed and little else, with a small narrow North facing window that never got any sun. It was just outside of Edgemont. It broke my heart to walk home from the bus stop, past the enormous houses and see the two car garages and thinking that would never be me, and soon it will be!!! I remember in grade 9 design class, Mr Sanden told us to draw the front of our houses, and I couldn't really do it because the front of my house is a door and a window.
And mom agreed to letting me get a dog. I love my cats, but I have the insatiable need for my house to be a managerie, and Mom wanted a dog when we first moved, but the apartment only allowed cats and little rat dogs. Like the evil chihuahua's next door. One is healthy, but yappy and snarly, and the other is sickly and groaney and evil. I want a Basset hound, but any mongrel from the pound will suit me well.
So, in short, my happy future is in the distance, and I can almost touch it. Finally, when I have friends over, I'll have a house I can show them, not a tiny brown apartment next to a cemetary.
Mom, I am so proud of you. You got us through the rough times, and when Meagan and myself were scared when we got evicted, you told us that one day, we would have a house of our own, and now the dream is almost realized. I love you.

He failed me in art. HE FAILED ME IN ART! Fuck, now they're saying I have to repeat art 10, even though I only failed the 3D part. This sets be back a whole year. Plus, I'm going to have to take math 20 and science 20 next summer because I am almost positive I failed science and I'll be in math 10 next year. Then I'll have to take Art 20 sometime, and still fit in social, english, two choir courses, two drama courses, and C.A.L.M. Career and life management my ass! If I don't figure out this art thing, the only thing I would ever consider taking up as a career, I won't be needing C.A.L.M. Somebody make all the idiots in the world go away.

I didn't mean to wince in pain. I didn't mean to let out that involuntary whimper. I'm such a baby.

Aaawww, Finding Nemo was absolutely adorable. Bubbles!

What shall I type about this fine day?
Firstly, Happy 19th Birthday to Lisa Brown...you old, old person you.
Secondly, I want to congratulate Mick and Clare again on bringing a beautiful baby girl into this world. I mean, of all the baby animals, I would say human babies are the ugliest, but Niamh is really cute. No, Anthony, you cannot eat her.
And last but not least, I would like to make a request for all you people in cyberspace taking the time to read my blog. I have an important message for you.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, BE HAPPY! LET THE SADNESS OF THE WORLD MELT AWAY! EMBRACE THE WARMTH, DON'T WALLOW IN SELF-PITY! ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY, BUT OTHERS CAN BE BROUGHT DOWN BY YOUR OVERWHELMING DARKNESS. YAYAY FOR HAPPY!

Yeeha! Happiness is oozing out of my pores!
Mick and Clare had a beautiful baby daughter on June the 9th. Well, when I say Mick and Clare, I mostly mean Clare. She did majority of the work. Her name is Niamh Ella Gumley. It is pronounced Neve, and it is a beautiful Irish name. I'm going to find out what it means right now.
....Okay, it is a myth name. I think she was a princess of the Isles.
Yayay! Congrats, Mick and Clare.

The night is nice and cool, I am glad I am alone.
I was looking at my archives, and realized how silly I am sometimes. I vow never to be such an idiot again.
HEY BEEBO, PACT A AND B!
I love my room, and my stuffed animal army. The newest adition is a white teddy bear from Ikea, whom I christened Comrade Radish. He is very soft. I tried to find a red one-communism, you see-but they only had orange, white, blue, and another colour that I don't remember. So, Comrade Radish is sitting cutely and communistly on my new Ikea chair. They all work together to protect Anthony's soul. I should totally set up a business.
"Someone after your soul? Give it to Kat's Stuffed Animal Army! Guaranteed protection, or your soul back...unless, you know...I lose it...."

Curse you, Anthony, and your leaving the MSN conversation before telling me what I wanted to know. Curse you. With snuh.
In other more important news, I am reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix, and I don't care if you think it is stupid or lame, because I absolutely love it and hope to be finished reading it soon, so I can figure out all the wonderful magic and secrets of Harry and his scary but beautiful world.
Okay, what else? Um...........Well, I forget, but oh well.

How sad.....
I drew a centaur-unicorn boy, chained and crying. It makes me want to rescue him. He just looks so sad and beautiful. He lives in my dreams.
I want it to rain. Rain rain rain.

*sings*
It's raining it's pouring!
The old man is snoring.
He bumped his head and went to bed,
And couldn't get up in the morning!
Just reverting to my inner child as I listen to the rain pound against the windows. It sounds like the happy rattle of a baby. Mmmm...sweet delicious baby!
Quele? Quele?
Bouche encorner quele?
Non, non petit personnage.
Passe, passe heures
Comme par le passe
Non, non petition n'est rien.
Can you feel my juices around your rock hard cock?
Take a closer look. Mmm, very nice!"
Those are the coolest lyrics ever. Ever.

Man, today was so fun!
Emily Beebo, I want to do that again. It was so funny. I lost a shoe, but it was so......well....you know....
Anthony, I had a grand old time. My entire stuffed animal army loves you, as does my mother. She wants to adopt you. And by adopt you, I mean have you over again. Just make sure not to go into any male host parties and order iced Oolong tea, and then get raped....several times throughout the movie. But first...!
Everyone in the Pit, today was cool. Burning stuff....listening to music....laughing. I love you all. All.
Science test, I hate you and want you to die. I will destroy you. Haha! Heero Yui!

Oh my fucking God. What is everyone's problem? If same sex couples want to get married, let them get married! It's just two people who love each other! Jesus H Christ. On a pogo stick.

Dooo....dooo....dooodooo...
Nothing to do...test tomorrow...Myaa! Poe just yawned and fell off the couch! Buahahahaha!
Please, someone save me from this hell!

Well, my mother is in a foul mood.
In other news, I have new shoes. Hey! That rhymed! Anway, I also aquired my very first manga book! Yayay!

Ugh, my experiment has proven true.
I decided to try putting on makeup. Not just lipstick, the whole sha-bang. I dislike makeup very much, but I wanted to see how long it takes someone to put everything on.
An hour and a half for eyeshadow, mascara, powder, blush, and lipstick. An hour and a half! And painful! I had to put this stinging liquid shit on my face (my sister was directing the procedure. She said I had to put it on) and ran around like a wild animal screaming "Jesus H Christ it stings! Oh God, it's in my mouth!" and so forth. My sister clamped an eyelash curler over my irritated eyelashes and yanked a couple out. Not to mention my eyelashes fall out anyway, so no doubt the heavy mascara is going to kill me. The lipstick has made my lips dry, and I spilt blush all over the bathroom counter. My eyes are sore...
Ugh...how can girls do this everyday?!

Uber clean!
Man, that was so much fun. Eating disgusting Macdonalds while the water runs, hopping into the tub, splashing around like a four year old in a kiddie pool, and washing my hair with so much shampoo that my hair could stand straight up, then listening to it fizz as I submerged my whole head under the lovely warm water. Putting on clean nightclothes and pulling my hair into a single tight ponytail and then telling you all about it. Warm and Content.

I need to have a shower. I mean, I really need a shower. As much as I love camping, I really really really need a shower.
I am gald to be home. It rained a little, and now it is nice and sunny. I want to go swimming. Uber wet!

Today, the nine of us ran through the sprinklers. I couldn't sit down on the bus home, because my sopping wet jeans would make me look like I peed on the bus seat.
Anthony, we need a NOMUF mascot.

Playing in the park today was fun. I wish I could do that everyday.
"Mom, I skipped math today."
"What? What were you doing that was so important?"
"Playing in the park. Nothing was going on in math, anyway."
"Well, okay."
"Could be worse. Most people skip math to go and smoke crack."
"And you skipped class to play on swings?"
"Yes."
"Are you on crack?"
"No, mom!"

Man, I am in "artiste mode"! Seriously, I started working with colour and I created my favourite drawing to date, and I seem to be in a very poetic state of mind. However, it is not the strange, sad, moody poetry and art that by creating just makes one feel more depressed. It is an expression of all the weird things in my soul and my dreams, and I love them all.
You sit and worry about yourself,
Not a care to the rest of us.
I hope your selfishness eats away at you,
So that my soul can take your place.
One less pitiful, useless, self absorbed being
For the rest of us to lug around.
See how much more one can express when one does so through poetry?
Mah, I love each and everyone of you. None of you are selfish or full of self pity. You all rock! *flowers, flags, and kittens for all*

Ugh...my scalp hurts from French braids...
And now for a poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Anthony, if you don't stop bugging me about pictures, I will shoot you!

Oooh, Village of the Damned is on.
Holy crap, those kids are freaky.
I want them to eat my soul.

Argh. It makes me so mad.
Life is all around everyone, and they either wallow in hole, asking stupid questions like "Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? My mind is a metaphor." or they throw it all away. And what really annoys me is that when I hang around with people who don't seem to care about their education or whatever, and I feel like I'm out of the loop for actually giving a damn about what the future has in store. Ok, I don't wear black, with dark make-up under my eyes, or wear pink with frilly socks and a shirt from the GAP. Why should I have to feel like I need to look a certain way to hang with certain people? I don't want to hang out with girls who only talk about tripe and gossip, but if I try and make little conversation with them, they look at me as if I've got a third eye or something. And then, when I try and hang with some of my friends, it's like I am a prep just because I attend classes and don't smoke and wear clothes that are run of the mill, instead of being this "I don't care" kind of person. I do care. I do. And just because 17th ave isn't my favourite place in the world-although I heartily enjoy it in small doses-doesn't mean I don't have unique ideas and a commentary for my feelings. I'm had it up to my eyeballs with feeling two different ways around two different people. I'm tired of not being-emo, is it?-enough for some people, and being too weird for the rest. Screw you all. I wash my hands of you. Good ridance to you all.
Except you...you....and you. I like you.

Wow. Just wow.
It was most beautiful, scary, exciting thing I have ever seen and ever will see.
Allegria, Cirque du Soleil, was incredible. I cannot even describe it. All I know is that during the encores, the "Panda Guy" looked right at me, and I waved. He gave me two thumbs up, and I gave him two back. It made my night.
It will live forever in my dreams, and I thoroughly believe in Cirque du Soleil's motto;
Impossible is only a word.