I am so high on sugar right now I can hardly remember anything that happened two minutes ago. What is my name?

Anyway, I am a little...what is the word I am searching for...off. Not happy, not sad, not angry, not calm. I dream of being a manga-ka and a teacher and a mother. Not that I want kids or a family or anything, but I like to imagine what my children might look like if I ever have them. Bernadette or Polly for a girl, Alistair or Mathias for a boy. I like weird names.

I was uncomfortable today. It was a physical thing. I was worried someone would ask what was wrong, because I would have to die.

Someone told me I was beautiful today. I blushed. According to my mother-of-step, I was glowing like a Christmas tree. I've been called pretty, but that really made my day. Call me superficial if you will.

Dad and I made cookies tonight. I made the following shapes: heart, star, moon, Mickey Mouse, smartie, amphibious landing craft, flower, sperm, and of course, a penis.

In these days of no regrets,
I keep mine to myself.
And all the things we never said
I can say for someone else.
And nothing lasts forever
But we always try,
And I just can't help but wonder why,
We let it pass us by.

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away.
If I let you down,
Please, forgive me now...
For that beautiful goodbye...

~Amanda Marshall Beautiful Goodbye

I really like Amanda Marshall. She is one of few musical artists who hasn't sold out and actually has talent. I am speaking mostly of the dreaded Avril Lavigne.