I went swimming at the outdoor pool today. And it felt good.
In the deep end, halfway down to the bottom, sort of suspended, watching my hair float weightlessly around me, swirling in the cool water, and watching the surface glitter and gleam. It is absolutely silent under the water. Feeling my feet touch the pool floor, and staying there. Pressure building in my ears, and the last few bubbles of oxygen are rising from my lips. Then water pushing hard against me as I force myself up and let myself glide, no, fly to the surface, head bent right back, neck craning, waiting for the moment when my nose will break through that liquid-mercury like wall and air will rush into my cramped lungs. A loud splash, the sudden rush of wind in my hair and air in my lungs, and I can hear children laughing and lifeguards yelling and I can feel the sun beating down on me and warming the water close to the surface. I close my eyes. Water drips off my eyelashes, almost like tears. Treading water, remembering the silence, the cool blue, the way my skin looked green with tiny bubble scales, and the way I felt trapped and free, furious and calm, rageful and joyous, surrounded and alone. Nothing but wonderful. I clamber out of the pool, buy an ice cream and watch the fluffy white clouds roll by overhead as the wind dries my skin and the sun tans it brown. I am happy. More than I can say for the rest of you.

And Happy REAL Birthday to Val. Whatever.