The other day at Stampede, I saw Marcey. It totally just made my night. I wanted her to come with me and my sister and her friends to go on rides, but she had to wait for someone, so she couldn't come. Oh well, I have her email address now so there will be much communication!
I don't think I like all the people I used to like. I mean, I don't hate them, but I find people to be annoying and self centered.
Well, back to Stampede. It was great fun. I went on a lot of rides and won some adoreable little cuddly toys. A little angel bear-named Goblin, of course-a teddy bear named Marcey because I won it about two minutes before I met her there, and a little pug dog named Francis Griswald the Third. I also won an angel bear for my sister and a floppy yellow and blue puppy dog for my mom, because I like winning things for people.
Except when those people bug me because I wouldn't go into the haunted houses. Not even the kiddie one. I seriously would have peed my pants in fright. Scary shit is not fun, it is shit.
Shit.

I am making tonnes of friendship bracelets. It is super relaxing, although it tends to cramp my hands after a few hours. I made a super cool one. It is four bands thick and each band is the banner colours of the Hogwarts houses. Red and yellow for Gryffindor, blue and orange for Ravenclaw, black and light yellow for Hufflepuff, and silvery-white and green for Slytherin. I love it so much. It is very pretty, and I made it myself, so it is extra cool.
Shut up, all of you!

Whoohoo! Tomorrow I am going to the Stampede. See, I didn't think I was going to go and then I was all like no, not going, but now I am and I'm going to eat mini donuts until I bloat. Prefferably not ones that have fallen on the ground.

Although Katherine Claire Long certainly doesn't appologize, and she certainly meant everything she said just now, she would like to thank you all for putting up with it momentarily, if you can indeed find the time to stop thinking about yourselves for just a minute. Thankyou for your patience, now proceed "Fuck off and die".
~The Management.

Had...it...up...to...here...head...going...to...explode...can't...hold...in...fustration...must...release...anger...or...I...will...die...cannot...stand...it...anymore...
OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DEPRESSING AND ANNOYING AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF FEELING LIKE THE ONLY PERSON ON THE GOD DAMN PLANET WHO ISN'T WHINING OR COMPLAINING CONSTANTLY AND BEING ALL "OH, MY LIFE SUCKS AND NO ONE LIKES ME" OR "I'M SO TORMENTED MY CHILD HOOD WAS AWFUL NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME I'M A LOOSER LONER PERSON WHO IS REALLY JUST TRYING TO GET ATTENTION" I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HAVE SEEN THINGS NONE OF YOU FUCKING MORONS HAVE EVER SEEN LIKE WHEN MY PARENTS SEPARATED AND MY MOTHER SCREAMED IN MY EIGHT YEAR OLD FACE "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF AND I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU TWO AS WELL BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN'T BORN THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED" AND SHE WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN AND GRABBED A BIG ASS FUCKING KNIFE AND I HAD TO CLING TO HER ARM TO MAKE HER STOP SO DON'T WHINGE AND CRY TO ME ABOUT POOR CHILDHOODS OR SADNESS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT IT GOD I HAVE BEEN UP TO MY NECK IN SHIT AND I STILL MANAGE TO MANTAIN A HAPPY OUTLOOK ON LIFE EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE BLOW ME OFF OR DON'T LIKE ME OR WHATEVER AND ALL YOU BASTARDS AND BITCHES ARE STILL GRIPING ON ABOUT YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF SELFISH ANNOYING BRAINLESS SPINELESS DISGUSTING EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS SO FROM NOW ON I AM NOT GOING TO BE A SHOULDER TO CRY ON OR A GOOD FRIEND OR TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE WORLD I LOVE YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF AND DIE AND IF I EVER HEAR ONE MORE COMPLAINT ABOUT SOMETHING COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY STUPID I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOUR EMPTY HEAD FROM YOUR PATHETIC BODY AND STAMP IT INTO THE GROUND I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT A GOOD PERSON AND I HAVE BEEN KIND AND GENEROUS AND SUPPORTIVE AND PEOPLE STILL PUT ME SECOND OR IGNORE IT AND GO OFF TO MOAN ABOUT THEMSELVES SOME MORE OH MY GOD I FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

I went swimming at the outdoor pool today. And it felt good.
In the deep end, halfway down to the bottom, sort of suspended, watching my hair float weightlessly around me, swirling in the cool water, and watching the surface glitter and gleam. It is absolutely silent under the water. Feeling my feet touch the pool floor, and staying there. Pressure building in my ears, and the last few bubbles of oxygen are rising from my lips. Then water pushing hard against me as I force myself up and let myself glide, no, fly to the surface, head bent right back, neck craning, waiting for the moment when my nose will break through that liquid-mercury like wall and air will rush into my cramped lungs. A loud splash, the sudden rush of wind in my hair and air in my lungs, and I can hear children laughing and lifeguards yelling and I can feel the sun beating down on me and warming the water close to the surface. I close my eyes. Water drips off my eyelashes, almost like tears. Treading water, remembering the silence, the cool blue, the way my skin looked green with tiny bubble scales, and the way I felt trapped and free, furious and calm, rageful and joyous, surrounded and alone. Nothing but wonderful. I clamber out of the pool, buy an ice cream and watch the fluffy white clouds roll by overhead as the wind dries my skin and the sun tans it brown. I am happy. More than I can say for the rest of you.

And Happy REAL Birthday to Val. Whatever.

The half angel hugged her, and she knew everything was going to be alright. He held her close, and the world around her didn't matter anymore.

How wonderful. How FUCKING wonderful.

It is very curious. Today, I woke up feeling empty. Very very empty. As if someone cracked open my head last night and pulled out all the thoughts and feelings that were stewing away up there, and released them into the world, as opposed to being trapped inside my numb, sleepy skull.
Still, emptiness isn't one of my favourite feelings. Instead of having thoughts running through my mind, I have a stupid song stuck in my head.
It's not even a feeling. I don't want to do anything. Anything. Yesterday, I could think of one million things I wanted to do, and if someone offered me to do them today, I would just shake my head and curl up into a fetal position on my couch and watch mid-day cartoons.
My mom will be home from work soon. I want her to leave me alone.