Hoooomework

That is what my weekend is for. Bio and Math. Whatevs.
Things with my mom are tense and stupid. I'm done.
I'm pretty tired, guys, sorry.

Musical Quote of the Day

"If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear flowers in your hair"

-I don't know who sung it, but it's an oldie Title: Going to San Francisco
It's such a romantic song...

F. U. C. K.

There, I said it. This is gonna be a long, very bitchy post, so if you don't like it, you can fuck right off.
I hate everything.
I hate the fact that my Ralphbucks have not arrived, and probably won't get here until March, if they get here at all.
I hate that one simple thing I asked was not done, after I was assured it would be.
I hate that my bank account is probably overdrawn as it is.
I hate being an adult.
I hate the fact that everyone is going to think I'm a deadbeat loser.
I hate that I'm being reprimanded for quitting at Superstore, which was the most degrading job in existance and would have stolen my sanity had I not left there.
I hate money.
I hate how I'm not allowed to be angry at my mother, but she can be angry at me.
I hate how she turns everything against me, lies, twists things around, doesn't listen to me.
I hate how I'm going to have to give up being in the play.
I hate how my biggest dream is slipping away from me, and one of my dreams already has.
I hate how I hate my mother, and how she hates me.
I hate how one minute, everything is fine, and the next, I'm sitting in my room crying.
I hate that my dad basically abandoned me. There. I finally said it.
I hate the way most of my friends spend the majority of their time acting like complete assholes.
I hate moodswings.
I hate the way Mrs White looks at me, like I'm an incompetent moron who should have known better than to try to go to Japan, down her nose at me like I'm wasting her time...I feel like saying, "You know what, all these other stuck up brats have rich snobby parents spoiling their children rotten and paying for their trip, and they've been in the choir for years and have previous accounts loaded with money, and I'm in my first fucking year and I have to pay for this thing all by myself, so fuck you!" and I hate that I'm going to have to stand there and take it, possibly from Ms Strome, too.
I hate how my mother is a dirty hypocrite.
I hate that I'm her daughter.
I hate choir.
I hate drama.
I hate my friends.
I hate Japan.
I hate it all.















I hate me.

Irony Is A Bitch

This is what I thought as "Leaving on a Jet Plane" played on the radio as we went to the airport. Awkward.
Anyway, I'm home, safe and sound. School tomorrow. Unpleasant. But in any case, I had a lovely trip, and I am quite glad to be home, in some respects. My kitties are cute, my mom is being nice to me, my room is fairly tidy (hah, let's see how long it lasts) and I know what channel everything is on. I'm going to miss World of Warcraft, though. Oh, Pashaly, you will live on forever in my heart...you and your sexy Tauren body with the cute fluffy tail!
Shut-up, I'm a nerd, okay. Dare I say, a nurd?
I should sleep now...I have choir tomorrow, also.

Musical Quote of the Day

"So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go"

-Chantal Krevi-whatever Title: Leaving on a Jet Plane

God, I haven't heard this song in ages...

It's rather sad.


Second Musical Quote of the Day...because I damn well feel like it...

"Fed up with my destiny
And this place of no return
Think I'll take another day
And slowly watch it burn
And it doesn't really matter
How time goes by
Cause I still remember you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

Staggered through these empty streets
Laughing arm in arm
The night had made a mess of me
Your confessions kept me warm
And I don't really miss you
I just need to know
Do you ever think of you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away
If I let you down
Please forgive me now
For that beautiful goodbye

And in these days of no regret
I keep mine to myself
And all the things we never said
I can say for someone else
And nothing lasts forever
But we always try
And I just can't help but wonder why
We let it pass us by

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away
If I let you down
Please forgive me now
For that beautiful goodbye

Baby what can I do
Oh to get through to you
And sometimes I cry
It's a fool's lullaby
Sometimes I cry
It's just a fool's lullaby
Oh I

I'm dying inside"

-Amanda Marshall Title: Beautiful Goodbye

I know, I know, I've used this song before. But all those times before, I was mournful because I loved someone who broke my heart, and didn't love me back. But now it means something different. I have someone who I love more than anything, and I know he loves me. And yet, tomorrow I will have to walk away from his arms, through the airport gate, and try not to think too much about how much my heart hurts. It truly will be a beautiful goodbye. I hate goodbyes, no matter how beautiful they are.

Year of the Dog

It started yesterday, it was cool. Yayay Shigure and Tohru...I think that's her name...it's been such a long time since I've read/seen Fruits Basket.
In anycase, what else is new? Not much, really. I am going home to Calgary tomorrow, but for obvious reasons, this is a sad occasion. I should probably practice more of my choir music between now and then. But the call of WoW is strong. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am addicted to World of Warcraft. Seriously, it like, controls my life. My character is a level 11 Tauren. She is pale brown in colour and has a fluffy tail. Her name is Pashaly. She is awesome, and is a moo-cow!
Yeah, that's about it. I'm just chilling, hanging out, home dogs, you know.

Musical Quote of the Day

"So if you're lonely
You know I'm here waiting for you
I'm just a cross-hair
I'm just a shot away from you
And if you leave me here
You leave me broken
Shattered I lie
I'm just a cross-hair
I'm just a shot
Then we can die

I know I won't be leaving here with you

I say don't you know
You say you don't know
I say take me out!"

-Franz Ferdinand Title: Take Me Out

This song kicks ASS!