I'm So Proud Of Me!
Today was the first time I cried due to severe pain in the right side of my jaw. It was vey bad, but thanks to drugs, of the legal kind, I can actually go for five minutes without wishing my jaw would fall off.
Gotta go. Gotta go think. As a Virgo, I over-analyze everything that happens to me, or that doesn't happen to me, or that I do/don't do, or what other people do/don't do.
I need to go rinse with salt water. Excuse me. Peace out!
Werd. As it were.
Musical Quote of the Day
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives"
-Green Day (who else?) CD: American Idiot (duh!) Track: 3 Title: Holiday
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
Aaaagh!
Well, first let me just say that I am very medicated. Very. Which, in a way is nice, because my eyes glaze over and I feel nothing for at least an hour. Lets see...antibiotics twice a day, super-strong painkillers as needed, and a really bitter mouthwash I have to *shudder* squirt into the gaping sockets with a syringe. And I have to rinse with salt water. God, this sucks.
Anyway, my face hurts. A lot. Like I've been hit in the face with a bag of bricks. Which is a considerable improvement from yesterday. God, I hardly remember it. Um...okay, the nurse walked me to the surgery room. A big black bed, it looked like the ones they use in prisons when they strap deathrow prisoners down and lethally inject them. Nurses walking all around. A very kind doctor lay me down and asked my name, and casually tied an elastic around my left arm. I hate that, when they are about to stick you and they try and keep you talking but you know what they're doing. Stupid...anyway, it took a while for him to find a vein. Then he found one, and injected me. "Here comes the sleepy stuff," he said. I looked up into the flourescent light above me, tasted the nasty gas running around in my system, said "Yay," rather quietly, and then nothing. It's weird. Like an hour of my life doesn't exist. Nothing.
I woke up in the recovery room. My eyes fluttered open, just as a nurse was changing my dressing, pulling thick, blood soaked gauze from my mouth. It was gross, and I'm sure it would have been painful if my jaw hadn't been numb. The nurse stuffed some clean gauze inbetween my cheeks. She said, "Hello, you're in the recovery room...bite down...there you go...how do you feel?" I think I said "I don't remember anything..." and then I think she said "That's because of the wonderful drugs we gave you." but I may just be dreaming that part. She said something else, and went to check on another teenage girl, still unconscious, on the other gurney. I turned my head to the...right?...to see, but it felt so dizzying that I went back to staring blearily at the ceiling. I felt a pain in my left hand, lifted it, and saw a white peice of cotton strapped down with tape over where the injection was. I glanced down at what was covering me. A weird plastic-ey sheet and a pink blanket on top. My first coherent, thought was "I hate pink." The nurse came back and pushed my stretcher against the wall, and left again. I don't know how long I lay there, but when the nurse came back, she sat me up and walked me out. I was very dizzy, but I recognized the doctor, and waved feebly, he said "Good for you," and I accidentally walked into the first door on the right instead of the second, but thanks to the nurse I finally made it to my destination, where I sat in a dental chair, was covered in a pink blanket and left to sleep a bit more. I thought, "Drain the pressure from the swelling...this sensations overwhelming..." A different nurse came, gave me a syringe in a baggy, told me not to remove the gauze until 5:00 pm, and helped me put on my coat. She walked me to the elevator, holding my elbow. She got me to the car, mom had driven up to the front door...I thanked her, got in the car, and left.
At least, I think that is what happened. I dunno. I'm still in a lot of pain and my mind is pleasantly blurred. When the novacaine wore off I took some medicine. I've been sleeping for the better part of two days. I'm swollen, have bruises on my cheeks and left hand, and I miss solid food so much. I can't do anything, either! It's in the rules. Cannot drink soda, use straws, have alchohol, kiss, have solids, suck anything, open my mouth too wide, blow my nose, and after "meals" I have to rinse with salt water and chlorhexidine. Arrrgh!
The grossest part; I have stitches inside my mouth. Which have to be removed on Wednesday. Sorry, Matt, I won't be there for drama.
Well, that's my weekend, how about yours?
Well, first let me just say that I am very medicated. Very. Which, in a way is nice, because my eyes glaze over and I feel nothing for at least an hour. Lets see...antibiotics twice a day, super-strong painkillers as needed, and a really bitter mouthwash I have to *shudder* squirt into the gaping sockets with a syringe. And I have to rinse with salt water. God, this sucks.
Anyway, my face hurts. A lot. Like I've been hit in the face with a bag of bricks. Which is a considerable improvement from yesterday. God, I hardly remember it. Um...okay, the nurse walked me to the surgery room. A big black bed, it looked like the ones they use in prisons when they strap deathrow prisoners down and lethally inject them. Nurses walking all around. A very kind doctor lay me down and asked my name, and casually tied an elastic around my left arm. I hate that, when they are about to stick you and they try and keep you talking but you know what they're doing. Stupid...anyway, it took a while for him to find a vein. Then he found one, and injected me. "Here comes the sleepy stuff," he said. I looked up into the flourescent light above me, tasted the nasty gas running around in my system, said "Yay," rather quietly, and then nothing. It's weird. Like an hour of my life doesn't exist. Nothing.
I woke up in the recovery room. My eyes fluttered open, just as a nurse was changing my dressing, pulling thick, blood soaked gauze from my mouth. It was gross, and I'm sure it would have been painful if my jaw hadn't been numb. The nurse stuffed some clean gauze inbetween my cheeks. She said, "Hello, you're in the recovery room...bite down...there you go...how do you feel?" I think I said "I don't remember anything..." and then I think she said "That's because of the wonderful drugs we gave you." but I may just be dreaming that part. She said something else, and went to check on another teenage girl, still unconscious, on the other gurney. I turned my head to the...right?...to see, but it felt so dizzying that I went back to staring blearily at the ceiling. I felt a pain in my left hand, lifted it, and saw a white peice of cotton strapped down with tape over where the injection was. I glanced down at what was covering me. A weird plastic-ey sheet and a pink blanket on top. My first coherent, thought was "I hate pink." The nurse came back and pushed my stretcher against the wall, and left again. I don't know how long I lay there, but when the nurse came back, she sat me up and walked me out. I was very dizzy, but I recognized the doctor, and waved feebly, he said "Good for you," and I accidentally walked into the first door on the right instead of the second, but thanks to the nurse I finally made it to my destination, where I sat in a dental chair, was covered in a pink blanket and left to sleep a bit more. I thought, "Drain the pressure from the swelling...this sensations overwhelming..." A different nurse came, gave me a syringe in a baggy, told me not to remove the gauze until 5:00 pm, and helped me put on my coat. She walked me to the elevator, holding my elbow. She got me to the car, mom had driven up to the front door...I thanked her, got in the car, and left.
At least, I think that is what happened. I dunno. I'm still in a lot of pain and my mind is pleasantly blurred. When the novacaine wore off I took some medicine. I've been sleeping for the better part of two days. I'm swollen, have bruises on my cheeks and left hand, and I miss solid food so much. I can't do anything, either! It's in the rules. Cannot drink soda, use straws, have alchohol, kiss, have solids, suck anything, open my mouth too wide, blow my nose, and after "meals" I have to rinse with salt water and chlorhexidine. Arrrgh!
The grossest part; I have stitches inside my mouth. Which have to be removed on Wednesday. Sorry, Matt, I won't be there for drama.
Well, that's my weekend, how about yours?
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Freakin' Freakin' Freakin' Hell!
Yeah, so tomorrow is dental surgery *grimace* and hopefully today I didn't act as petrified as I feel. It's not the actual going to sleep that scares me -although it is rather frightening- because I've had surgery once before when I was quite young (9) and I wasn't too scared, it's the waking up and being in sheer agony and wishing I was dead that I don't look forward to at all, which I hear happens after dental surgery. Plus, afterwards, I'm going to look like Hell. Kari said she was going to come and visit me, but I really don't want her to. Not that I don't want her to come because I don't like her or anything, but because I'm going to look/smell/feel/sound like utter crap, and I won't be much company. I'm going to be on lots of antibiotics and powerful painkillers -yay!- and I will be very dissoriented and nauseous and I would be so embarrassed for anyone, even my best friends, to see me like that. Yeah. So, very close to tears. Everyone wished me luck and a few people hugged me and one nice girl, Margaret, in my English class said she'd pray for me. Although a very sweet notion, in my head I was like, "Yeah, kind of a waste...God is...well, he gets angry when people pray for the Daughter of Bealzebub." *evil grin* Except not. So, anyway, I'm really very nervous, and was almost crying in the car. I don't like pain. Grrrr. Not at all.
Goodbye, solid food...I'll miss you. Speaking of which, we did not, as planned, go to Denny's for my "Last Supper (that isn't mushed up in the food processor)", instead we went to my favourite restaurant, the SUMO LOUNGE! Allow me to describe all of the delicious food I devoured like a demon:
Salmon
Shitake Mushroom
Sweet Tamago
Eel
Octopus
Beef
Tempura Shrimp
Miso Soup
Spring Rolls
Dumplings
Some Stuff That I Wasn't Sure About But Was Really Yummy Anyway
I had several servings of each. And the sushi chef bar guy was preparing octopus tentacles, and he pulled whole, dead, chilled octopus out of a big white tub and its tentacles were all coiled and he cut off one and began to prepare it and I was very happy because it was so cool and he gave me a piece and I was even happier. And Banana Pocky for dessert. Myayayayayayayayayaya! So now I can't eat anything. A) I'm full, and B) After midnight, I cannot consume any food or liquid, not even water, because it will make the anaesthetic go "fuck you" and hurt me. Sigh. I love solids.
I have to take off all of my jewelry tomorrow, which I don't want to do. Especially the necklace. Whenever I feel stressed I just grip it and remind myself that everything is okay. As soon as I wake up, my hand will fly to my throat, and I'll be sad to feel nothing there. Damn.
Anyway, I got shit to do, so ta ta for...well, I won't be online tomorrow at all. Let's just say, as soon as I am coherent, I will come online and bitch about how much I hurt.
Musical Quote of the Day...let's make it the whole song...'cuz it's apt.
"Take away the sensation inside
Bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
Give me novacaine
Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling and that's alright
Jimmy says it's better than here
I'll tell you what
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's ovewhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine
Oh novacaine
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me, Jimmy, I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine"
-Green Day CD: American Idiot Track:7 Title: Give Me Novacaine.
It's funny, because it's actually a song about emotional overload, but for me, it's literal. Go Green Day.
Yeah, so tomorrow is dental surgery *grimace* and hopefully today I didn't act as petrified as I feel. It's not the actual going to sleep that scares me -although it is rather frightening- because I've had surgery once before when I was quite young (9) and I wasn't too scared, it's the waking up and being in sheer agony and wishing I was dead that I don't look forward to at all, which I hear happens after dental surgery. Plus, afterwards, I'm going to look like Hell. Kari said she was going to come and visit me, but I really don't want her to. Not that I don't want her to come because I don't like her or anything, but because I'm going to look/smell/feel/sound like utter crap, and I won't be much company. I'm going to be on lots of antibiotics and powerful painkillers -yay!- and I will be very dissoriented and nauseous and I would be so embarrassed for anyone, even my best friends, to see me like that. Yeah. So, very close to tears. Everyone wished me luck and a few people hugged me and one nice girl, Margaret, in my English class said she'd pray for me. Although a very sweet notion, in my head I was like, "Yeah, kind of a waste...God is...well, he gets angry when people pray for the Daughter of Bealzebub." *evil grin* Except not. So, anyway, I'm really very nervous, and was almost crying in the car. I don't like pain. Grrrr. Not at all.
Goodbye, solid food...I'll miss you. Speaking of which, we did not, as planned, go to Denny's for my "Last Supper (that isn't mushed up in the food processor)", instead we went to my favourite restaurant, the SUMO LOUNGE! Allow me to describe all of the delicious food I devoured like a demon:
Salmon
Shitake Mushroom
Sweet Tamago
Eel
Octopus
Beef
Tempura Shrimp
Miso Soup
Spring Rolls
Dumplings
Some Stuff That I Wasn't Sure About But Was Really Yummy Anyway
I had several servings of each. And the sushi chef bar guy was preparing octopus tentacles, and he pulled whole, dead, chilled octopus out of a big white tub and its tentacles were all coiled and he cut off one and began to prepare it and I was very happy because it was so cool and he gave me a piece and I was even happier. And Banana Pocky for dessert. Myayayayayayayayayaya! So now I can't eat anything. A) I'm full, and B) After midnight, I cannot consume any food or liquid, not even water, because it will make the anaesthetic go "fuck you" and hurt me. Sigh. I love solids.
I have to take off all of my jewelry tomorrow, which I don't want to do. Especially the necklace. Whenever I feel stressed I just grip it and remind myself that everything is okay. As soon as I wake up, my hand will fly to my throat, and I'll be sad to feel nothing there. Damn.
Anyway, I got shit to do, so ta ta for...well, I won't be online tomorrow at all. Let's just say, as soon as I am coherent, I will come online and bitch about how much I hurt.
Musical Quote of the Day...let's make it the whole song...'cuz it's apt.
"Take away the sensation inside
Bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
Give me novacaine
Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling and that's alright
Jimmy says it's better than here
I'll tell you what
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's ovewhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine
Oh novacaine
Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me, Jimmy, I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine"
-Green Day CD: American Idiot Track:7 Title: Give Me Novacaine.
It's funny, because it's actually a song about emotional overload, but for me, it's literal. Go Green Day.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Catching Up
Happy New Year and all that good junk.
Yeah, so today is a happy day, just because it is.
So, the upcoming week looms ahead. Monday; go to school, do English presentation, and meet Dave after school. Woot! Tuesday; go to school, maybe go to my dad's place for the night. Wednesday; go to school, come home, eat a big dinner, because from that point on, no solid foods for Kat *sniffle*. Thursday; wake up bitterly early, go to dental surgeon, go back to sleep via drugs, wake up in unimaginable pain, go home and sleep. Friday; wake up, be grumpy and swollen, cry, watch TV and sleep some more. Yes, I have my week planned out!!!
Well, I need to go and write stupid English crap. I have an uber-good musical thingy!
Musical Quote of the Day
"I said I've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all of my life"
-Dashboard Confessional CD: Shrek 2 Soundtrack Track: 4 Title: As Lovers Go (Ron Fair Remix)
Heart heart heart that song.
This is the crappiest blog ever, my apologies.
Happy New Year and all that good junk.
Yeah, so today is a happy day, just because it is.
So, the upcoming week looms ahead. Monday; go to school, do English presentation, and meet Dave after school. Woot! Tuesday; go to school, maybe go to my dad's place for the night. Wednesday; go to school, come home, eat a big dinner, because from that point on, no solid foods for Kat *sniffle*. Thursday; wake up bitterly early, go to dental surgeon, go back to sleep via drugs, wake up in unimaginable pain, go home and sleep. Friday; wake up, be grumpy and swollen, cry, watch TV and sleep some more. Yes, I have my week planned out!!!
Well, I need to go and write stupid English crap. I have an uber-good musical thingy!
Musical Quote of the Day
"I said I've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all of my life"
-Dashboard Confessional CD: Shrek 2 Soundtrack Track: 4 Title: As Lovers Go (Ron Fair Remix)
Heart heart heart that song.
This is the crappiest blog ever, my apologies.
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