World of pain...
Note to self: avoid kneeing myself in the nose. It hurts like a mother fucker, and bleeds a lot too, which is gross. Especially when the blood is oozing from my under my nose stud. Blargh.
So I slept for half an hour and woke up really cold. I hate the fact that my mother turns the heat off when she goes to bed. There is a possibility of hypothermia, which I would rather not have, thankyou.

I feel bad. I'm hurting someone I love. Except it isn't me. It's someone else, or no one at all. I wish I could make her stop.

So, apart from the tomatoes going everywhere, the evil carrots, me tripping over the garbage bin, forgetting to put in bean sprouts, forgetting to chop the peppers properly, and burning the rice, it wasn't a bad evening. I'm quite tired though. Stupid cooking. Oh well, it was worth it.
What else? Oh yeah, Boondock Saints was good. I was laughing when they blew up the cat, but then sad. But then happy again when someone asked "Is it dead?" Pure genious, I say! And now I will listen to music and wait for the food poisoning to kick in.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!
My mom...pure evil.......pure pure evil. I knew this would happen. She fucks up all my perfect wonderful beautiful plans at the last minute. Talk about the eleventh hour. Plus, while I'm getting a lecture from my mom, my sister is sitting there, all high and fucking mighty, putting in her snide little comments, which annoys me to no end. And when I tell her it isn't any of her business, my mother gets mad at ME! What the shit is wrong with this family? Damn it...as soon as I have enough money, I am out of here.

*movie voice over guy*
Two teens. Two hot chocolates. One bill. Who will be the one to pay? See all the action, playing at the Second Cup near you. And by "near you", I mean "on Center Street".

Who are you? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BLOG!

*movie voice over guy*
I'm gone!

Seriously, I am sooooo paying tomorrow. A)it's my turn B)I want to and C)I am the Original Possum and I decree it so.

I wish I could make all the sadness in the world go away. That would be nice.

First off, I want to express my SUPREME anger at the fact that my computer is an asshole. I've been sitting here, fustrated out of my mind, trying to figure out why I couldn't log on to MSN or the internet. I tried to log on to MSN for the past hour, and it kept saying I wasn't hooked up to the internet, although I clearly was. Then, after insane amounts of yelling, cursing, and hitting my computer, I discover it was a single faulty connection at the back of my modem. One wire is a tiny bit loose, and the whole damn computer gives it up. Man...I hate this shitty thing.
Anyway, I am mostly a Happy Possum because I am the proud new owner of Hello Kitty hair elastics and Valentines Day cards. Yes, Valentines Day is just a stupid Hallmark thing, another perfectly good holiday taken over by the greeting card companies, but DAMN she is so cayuute! I couldn't resist. I was going to write threatening messages on them but Hello Kitty's adorableness wouldn't allow me to do so. Sanrio controls my mind. I have already written them out, even though it is still January, but I'm one step ahead of the game! Like a few years ago when I gave my friends Easter presents sometime at the end of Febuary.
It's supposed to snow, which is both happy and sad. Happy, because snowing means skiing, and sad, because snowing means really fucking cold. But oh well.
Yayay! Chinese New Year! Year of the Monkey! I dunno. That just makes me happy. It's just really cool.
So tomorrow is the big day. I'm cooking. Oh dear God. I know I should be more confident in myself but based on past experiences, it's better not to raise my hopes. I will, however, make everything else perfect. I'm going to make the table look ever so nice, and even though my mother forbade it, I will probably have candles. Chances are, this will backfire and burn the house down, but with any luck, that will happen earlier, whilst I'm making rice. Okay, I'm really really nervous. I just want everything to go well. And I am, in fact, in a world of mathematical pain because of my recent math exam, so cut me some slack! I wanna be crazy!

So here I am, floating around online with no MSN with which to contact the outside world.

Tomorrow, I will go forth, on a perilous quest, in search of ingredients for Friday. So much to do! In other news, I made some very nice friendship bracelets that I am rather proud of, because I didn't screw up the knots or anything. Yayay for me! Happy Possum!

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry...that's funny...

Arrrrgh! Some people have such a fucking nerve! Pisses me right off! Marcey stabs me right in the back, and then acts and talks like we're "good buddies" and that nothing has happened. Telling me she got drunk and made out with a friend, as if I want to even talk to her after what she and her precious Rainy did. I mean, when she told me she got drunk and made out with a friend at some party, I wanted to say "Well, at least it wasn't the first time you've been a dumb ass." but, unforetunately, I have more class than that and would not allow myself to say something that might hurt her feelings, even though I really really wanted to. I don't feel like talking to her. As far as I'm concerned, if she and Rainy don't have the fucking guts to talk to me and tell me the truth, then I don't have the fucking time to pretend to be interested in their complicated lives. Mine is messed up enough, thankyou very much. So, there goes another friendship down the crapper. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but I guess I just haven't learned my lesson. Marcey, Rainy, if you should read this, or hear word of this, I just want you to know that even though you completely FUCKED EVERYTHING UP AND STABBED ME, YOUR SUPPOSED FRIEND, IN THE FUCKING BACK, AND I WOULD BE PERFECTLY FINE WITH NEVER SEEING EITHER OF YOU AGAIN, there are no hard feelings. There are no feelings at all. And that is what hurts the most. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'd rather feel hate than nothing. At the very least, hate is an emotion, tangible and true. Hate, unlike you, does not lie. I don't want to not feel. But I don't feel. You did that. I hope you are extremely proud. To the rest of my friends, who I love and adore, just a note; if you ever feel like cheating and decieving, that's fine. I'd rather you didn't, but if you must, feel free, on one condition. If you could put that worn out knife in my chest, you know, so I can see it, that would be great. Thanks.
And now, I will make a list of all the things I like. Because I don't really remember.

Kittens, possums, drawing, listening to music, hugs, the truth, swings, brilliantly blue skies, hats, shopping, sushi, Tristan, Jaryd, Kelsey, Ian, Jen Jen, Val, Danielle, Sarah, Graham-Dave, Anthony Galati, Anthony Knight, Matt, Chris, Kathryn, Ben, Lisa, singing, stuffed animals, sunny days, rainy days, my family, sleeping, parks, dogs, computers, playing video games, envelopes. rabbits, purple, Poe, Mousey, poetry, giving gifts, friendship bracelets, sleepovers, chocolate, Mick, Clare, Niamh, dreaming, fluffly white clouds, ice cream, skiing, chess, laughing, holidays, and love.

If you are not on this list, but know you should be, add yourself. If you are not on this list, but know for what reason, go to Hell.

That is all.

I'm awfully tired, but no more Artist's Block! Happy Possum! I had a lovely long sleep-sorry I didn't go on MSN again, I was too sleepy and wouldn't have been much fun-but I had a wretched dream. I woke up unable to breath, choking on my retainers. I felt a wave of relief knowing it was just a dream. It was creepy as hell.

Alright, I'm finished now. Sorry. But I'm sure everyone will agree that it is scary to have a dream wherein you feel pain. Usually one doesn't. I often do.
Yes, so, cooking....wasn't fun. At all. But I am going to do my best to make the food edible on Friday! I am the Original Possum and I decree it so!

Inspiration, are you there?

Me: Hello?
Inspiration: Yes? Can I help you?
Me: Well, I was...just kinda...wondering...
Inspiration: Look, you little time waster, I have a lot of other morons to tend to. Make it snappy or I shall have you removed from the premises.
Me: I'm sorry. It's just, I haven't seen you in a while. I have Artist's Block. Isn't there anything you can do?
Inspiration: What do you want me to do, you insufferable gitface?
Me: Oh, that's nice. I come to you for help, and you act like an asshole. Aren't you supposed to be some...beautiful angel who visits its followers in their dreams?
Inspiration: I'm not the fucking Tooth Fairy, lady.
Me: I know that. But you've been totally ignoring me for weeks and it's getting on my nerves! NOW DO YOUR GOD DAMN JOB BEFORE I GIVE UP ON ART AND BECOME A BRAIN SURGEON!!!
Inspiration: ....
Me: Fine, be that way!

Yeah, I had this crazy thought when I was lingering between being asleep and being awake before my mom called me down for dinner. I'll just have to dig up my own inspiration, I suppose. I'm going to listen to music, as that usually helps. Oh, this is a good song!

Big Machine-Goo Goo Dolls

Ecstacy is all you need,
Living in the Big Machine.
Now, oh, you're so vain.
Now your world is way too fast,
Nothing's real and nothing lasts,
And I'm aware,
I'm in love, but you don't care.
Turn your anger into lust,
I'm still here, but you don't trust at all.
And I'll be waiting.
Love and sex and lonliness,
Take what's yours, and leave the rest,
So I'll survive.
God it's good to be alive!

I'm torn in pieces,
I'm blind and waiting for you.
My heart is reeling,
I'm blind and waiting for you.

Still in love with all your sins,
Where you stop and I begin,
And I'll, I'll be waiting.
Living like a house on fire,
What you fear is your desire.
It's hard to deal,
I still love the way you feel.
Now this angry little girl,
Drowning in this pretty world.
And, oh, who you run to.
Swallow all your bitter pills,
That's what makes you beautiful.
You're all or not,
I don't need what you ain't got.

I'm torn in pieces,
I'm blind and waiting for you.
My heart is reeling,
I'm blind and waiting for you.
(And I can't believe it's coming true...)
I'm blind and waiting for you.
I'm blind and waiting for you.

Okay, enough of that. So, I am a Happy Possum, because I am not failing math, as I so believed this morning. I'm barely passing, but who cares? A pass is a pass.
Okay...I should really go and work on my art. Grrrrrrrrr...damn, how am I ever going to win this contest if I can't even manage to draw properly?

You guys, the tiger at the Zoo has terminal bone cancer. That makes me sad. I remember the first time I saw Kassam. I thought "I want a tiger!" Then he leapt at the glass and growled and I decided I didn't want one anymore. But he was cool. Rest in peace, Kassam!

Okay, on a happier note, I am learning to cook tomorrow. Okay, that isn't so happy, but I can practise my food-burning techniques for Friday. I want to look like a skilled moron, God dammit! If I can get the food to be burnt on the outside but raw on the inside, I would be so proud of myself! I simply must put a sacrificial something in the oven so that the Gods of the Vortex are appeased.
Well, I'm going to try! And no helping!