I Almost Commited Fishocide.

I am having issues with my fish.
As all of you dedicated readers know, I have two fantails, named Othello and Desdemona. I went to clean them this evening, and Othello was looking very grim. Othello is normally black, but most of his colouring was brown and faded, and his dorsal fin seemed to be bleeding inside, like a bruise. I thought he died when I put him the sink whilst I cleaned the bowl, because he just lay on his side, his gills hardly moving. But, he didn't die, so I continued to clean, and put them back in their bowl. I went later to check is he was still alive, and he had returned to his normal colour, although he wasn't moving much, but Desdemona was laying at the bottom of the tank, her blue eyes turned yellow. Her gills weren't moving at all. She was dead. So I went to get the net to fish her out-no pun intended-and give her a burial at sea (ie flush her) but I poked her with the net and, miracle of miracles, she lives! She was swimming and everything. It was highly odd. They are both old now. I really don't think they have much left, but I will be sad to see them go.

You know what I did today? I pranced around in my grad dress, to show my sister. I was so pretty...dude, grad is gonna rock!

And, through all the happiness, I feel great sadness in my heart because of what happened yesterday. I came to terms with the fact that I am not over him. Not yet. And it breaks my heart.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of the time
When I tried so hard

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter"

-Linkin Park CD: Kitty-Chan's Ultra Cute Death Mix Track: 4, I think Title: In the End

The Trials and Tribulations of Having an Insane Mother

My mom wants me to be happy all of the time. I wasn't unhappy as I did my housework, absolutely nothing was wrong in my life. I asked my mother "Where is the broom?"
This is the response I got.
"On the front steps CHEER UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
And I just could not take it.
I absolutely fucking hate it when my mother yells at me to cheer up. A) Just because I didn't ask for the broom in a manor that conveyed nothing but sheer joy, doesn't mean I'm upset. B) If I was upset, that's okay. Nowhere is it written that I have to be happy every minute of my life. C) Even if I was upset, screaming at me out of the blue to cheer up isn't exactly the way to make me feel better, which leads me to D) In fact, up until that moment, I was perfectly fine, but NOW I really am pissed off. I won't even go into all the minute details of the yelling match that occured after that. I'm going back to bed.

*sigh* And I was having such a nice day.

Musical Quote of the Day

"And Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music
Hates all of her clothes
Dreams of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she'd never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful"

-Our Lady Peace CD: Kitty-Chan's Ultra Cute Death Mix Track: 11 Title: Innocent