A Beautiful Mask

Yup. That's what I'm wearing.
Anyway, yesterday, when I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and cry all day, I got up, and went to sing to Scottish and Estonian people. I was very tired. But it's best to keep busy, and not to think about it, right? So I went and sang, and demanded hugs from people.
It was a pretty funny day, in retrospect. Mr Kelly...ugh....dear God, why did he do that!? Let's just say he left the choir girls, including me, grimacing, freaking out, and going bright red. But apart from that, it was okay. I got hugs from Anthony, Matt, Sarah, Rene, Kari, and many others. I got a little bit emotional at lunch. It's really hard to contain it, sometimes. Kari bought me a white rose to make me feel better. I stood up, and hugged her, and closed my eyes and just started to cry, because it occured to me how wonderful all of my friends are, and how much they care about me. When I pulled back, Sarah, Nikki, and Chelsea all saw me and jumped up and hugged me with Kari, and we started laughing, and I was screaming "Gang rape! Gang rape!" I'm glad I have such good friends. I just have to keep busy so that I don't think about things.
And yet, as lovely and my friends are, there is still emptiness inside. A choking, drowning emptiness that makes me cry at night.
Thank God that Kari came over and watched Napolean Dynamite and Anchorman with me. And ate junkfood.

Musical Quote of the Day

"The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
You got no say at all"

-Kelly Clarkson (I don't really like her music, just this song) CD: Love Actually Soundtrack Track: 1 Title: The Trouble With Love Is

Sing it, sister.

I've Done A Full 360 Degrees

I'm exactly where I was a year ago, with an extra four days. Sad, alone, with a broken heart. I'm really bad at this.

Girls Can Be So Mean

When I finally crawled out of bed this morning, and got showered and dressed, I thought I looked really good. Black, purple, and magenta plaid skirt, white shirt with a blue turtle on it, and my black and maroon knee socks with the cute little emblem, and my brown Oliver Twist hat. I went through the day, thinking that I looked really quite nice. But then I remembered why I hate riding the school bus home. You have to sit or stand in very close quarters with extremely judgmental people, especially the girls. I was standing near two girls, who kept throwing me very dirty looks and whispering to each other. I thought I heard the word slut in there somewhere. They may not have been talking about me, but you know how sometimes you just get that feeling, you can feel their eyes boring into you like drills? It was like that. It made me very self concious. Ugh, and then at Whitehorn, there was the Creepy Guy. Seriously, he's been there many times before, and he stands under the stairs, blatantly staring up the skirts of young women. Whenever I see him, I always make sure to walk on the "inside" of the stairs. Except it didn't really matter, because after I had crossed the bridge and was going down the opposite set of steps, the wind gusted and lifted my skirt with it, so most people around me saw my underwear, but luckily I dropped my books and bag in time to pull it back down before the whole bus station got a free show. That is a downside to skirtness. Tomorrow, I am wearing pants.
And I slept in today. But I was on time for Drama 30, and that's all that matters. No, really.
So, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Ms Strome gave the choir a lecture, and I was glad she did, because at the very least it convinced people who hate choir to quit or whatever, so that they won't hinder the rest of us dedicated people. Grr.
Well, I ought to go and clean out my backpack so I can actually put my shit in it. Yes, that is a good idea. Goodnight!

Musical Quote of the Day

"I said
Jump!
For my love
Jumpin'!
Feel my touch
Jump!
If you wanna take my kisses in the night, baby
Jump, jump for my love!"

-The Pointer Sisters CD: Love Actually Soundtrack Track: 8 Title: Jump (For My Love)
If this song doesn't make you happy, I don't know what will.

Is It Too Much To Ask To Be Left Alone For Five Minutes?

That is today's title.
Apparently, is the answer.
God, sometimes I just wish my mother would leave me alone. And my step mother. Quit nagging and whining, just leave me be.

Anyway, I was going to go into a long description about my day, but I really can't be bothered.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me"

-Dido CD: Love Actually Soundtrack Track: 3 Title: I don't know...

My Garden Is Well Planted...

Sorry, that song has been stuck in my head for a while. It's called the Seeds of Love. We're singing it in choir.
Anyway, yeah. I had a pretty lousy weekend, but thank God for Elizabeth, because she saved my sanity. I hate my step mother. So much.
Passed my drama 30 test, yay, but I didn't get the actors I wanted. Oh well, I got one!
Yup. Tomorrow I have to go in on everyone else's day off. Hooray!

No Musical Quote of the Day right now, I need to go and shower.