It is really nice outside. Happy Birthday to Marina, who I cannot get a hold of to wish it to her properly, but you know, whatever.

*The following scene takes place in my new house*
And now, the moment you have all been waiting for...*drum roll* ALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW ON DOGLETS, THE GENETICALLY MUTATED CREATIONS OF PROFFESORS EMILY KEELER AND KAT LONG!!!
Kat: Now, now, students, settle down, settle down.
Emily: Kat, we're standing in your empty basement.
Kat: I did not hear that. Anyway, class, today we are going to talk about mating animals. Did everyone bring their permission slips? There will be sex.
Emily: Again, there is no one here!
Kat*ignores the latter*: Let's get started. Proffesor Keeler, did you bring the specimen?
Emily: Uh, yeah. Here, Sheba, c'mon, girl.
*Sheba walks in and rolls onto her back, exposing her nine crooked nipples*
Kat: Dude, that never ceases to freak me out.
Emily*defensively*: Fine! Where is your dog?
Kat: He's here. Here, boy! Come here...
*A really ugly dog walks in*
Emily: Fuck, man...just...fuck.
Kat: Don't swear in front of the impressionable youth!
*Gestures to empty room*
Emily: I hate you. Anyway, let us get these two interested in each other...
Kat: Don't tell me, tell the students!
Emily: Jesus Christ. Fine, class, we're going to get these two freak dogs to do each other in a feeble attempt to make a new breed of freak. Doglets.
Kat*claps hands*: Goody! Okay, to the Honeymoon Room!
*Leads dogs to a fort made out of empty boxes*
Kat: And now they will mate. Sheba, stop edging away from my sweet ugly boy! He's harmless! Okay, class dissmissed.
Emily: I am going home.

*One doggy gestation period later, in Kat's garage*
Emily*peering into a big box*: Um, "Proffesor Long"? One of them is dead...
Kat: Val can have that one.
Emily: Hey, does your mom know we're doing this?
Kat: She's at work.
Emily: Yeah, but does she know?
Kat*forcefully*: She's at work! Anyway, welcome back, students. I hope you had a good break. Let us reveal the Doglets!
*Pulls out, one by one, five little Doglets. Ugly, mutated, one is dead*
Emily: This didn't work. Let's go drown them in the pond.
Kat: Where is the proud Mama?
Emily: Sheba is hiding in my bedroom. Where is yours?
Kat: Oh, he's um....well...he went blind.
Emily: Not surprisingly. These things are an eyesore.
Kat: Do you want icecream?
Emily: Yes. Yes I do.

*End*