Why is the bird not dead?
I was just pondering this. Why is it not dead yet, after so many years of pointless existance, and a few bids for freedom, and cat attacks and it lives still! This only further enhances my belief that it is Satan's budgie.
I, however, am....oh, what's the word? REALLY FUCKING TIRED! You see, I slept until about noon yesterday, and then last night I read Harry Potter until about 7:00 am, and then I had a shower and my mom french braided my hair and now I am here.
Harry Potter is sooooo sad....and frightening! I read this one part and I was glad it was light out and I didn't plan on sleeping, because I wouldn't have been able to anyway. Gahahahahaha! *sob* so tragic!
I'm done.
Musical Quote of the Day
"This world I'll never see
My dreams that just won't be
This horses stride
In just one ride
Will have covered more distance than me
But I will fly on my father's wings
To places I have never been
There is so much I've never seen
And I can feel his heartbeat still
And I will do great things
On my father's wings"
-Quest For Camelot (The Corrs) Title: On My Father's Wings
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Have You Ever Been Confused?
I'm sure you have. This is a different kind of confused...the kind of confused that happens when your head and your heart are arguing. The mind is scared, angry, violent, but the heart is still devoted, loving, and fragile. Damn.
In lighter news, I sold a picture today. My first art sale. For $2.50 to a little old lady on the train. Yay for me.
Musical Quote of the Day
"Take me back to the land
Where my yearning was born
The key to open the door
Is in your hand
Now take me there"
-.hack/sign Title: Key of the Twilight
Did I already do this one? I don't care.
I'm sure you have. This is a different kind of confused...the kind of confused that happens when your head and your heart are arguing. The mind is scared, angry, violent, but the heart is still devoted, loving, and fragile. Damn.
In lighter news, I sold a picture today. My first art sale. For $2.50 to a little old lady on the train. Yay for me.
Musical Quote of the Day
"Take me back to the land
Where my yearning was born
The key to open the door
Is in your hand
Now take me there"
-.hack/sign Title: Key of the Twilight
Did I already do this one? I don't care.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
She Stood At Her Window
And watched as the sun came out. It was phenomanal. Rain was still pouring liberally from the sky that seemed almost cloudless, and was illuminated by the brilliance of the early evening sun. The rain drops were like little arrows of light, singing as they danced on their descent. The white curtains wafted slightly, and she placed her hand on the cool glass pane. Sun and rain at the same time, harmonious. The sounds of her mother yelling angrily downstairs ebbed away as she heard the tune in her head. The tune that played in her head at times like these. Her mother was not always like this. In fact, it was rare. But when an arguement did flare up, it was terrible. The furious and pointless screams, the rigid silences that followed, and the feeling of non-existance.
She closed her eyes and felt the vibrations of the rain. She didn't really care about the fight going on downstairs between her mother and sister. She didn't really care that the day before, it was her standing helplessly in the kitchen as her mother suddenly burst into a rage and shouted and screamed over nothing. She knew it would blow over in a couple of days. Besides, she was going to her dad's the next night, and all would be well. Well, almost. Truth be told, there was something more painful in her heart. There was another reason she stood at the window, thinking of that slow beautiful romantic melody, crying as she gazed at the golden rain falling from a sapphire sky. Such a beautiful moment deserved to be spent thinking of a beautiful person. The person who broke her heart, but still owned all the pieces. He was away, now. And he promised that upon his return, they would start over, as she had requested. But her old insecurities had arisen as she lay on her bed listening to the sounds of her mother's screams and her sister's sobs. What if he returns...with another...what if he forgets to think about me, like he said he would? He promised to think of me. What if the romantic encounter I envision in my dreams is not to be? I have such flighty, girly fancies, that are incredibly far-fetched. I am getting my hopes up. But if one does not get one's hopes up, then one must not be human. It is only human to dream of what we desire most. She had got out of bed, and walked to the window, and watched as the neighbourhood children played in the glistening wet street and the parents shook their heads, smiling. But none of that mattered. Her thoughts were far away from her real life. Away from her lovely home and her vicious mother. Away from her body, her eyes, her hair. How pretty she must have looked, gazing so vacantly at the weather, big tears sliding silently down her cheeks and landing with a soft drop on the teddy bears that adorned her window sill as sunlight streamed in.
She closed her eyes, hearing the music in her head, fantasizing about a fleeting glance, a handshake, a hug. She opened her eyes. Her sister yelled something at her mother, a brave action, and stormed up the stairs, past her closed door, and into her own room, the door of which she slammed. Her mother yelled mean things to herself for a while, slamming things around in the kitchen. She smiled. She thought about her day. She realized that, outside of her bedroom, in a world full of sunlight and rain, she had many friends who cared deeply about her. Just that afternoon she had been out with a new friend, who made her laugh and brightened her day. The next day, she was going out again with another friend. Her best friend in the whole world, who she would be seeing shortly, was a wonderful person who was so special. She thought about all these people and sighed. It didn't matter about her mother, or even about her broken heart. Everything was okay.
The song in her head played gracefully over and over again. As she thought about the one far away, the one who still had her heart, one last time, the rain stopped. A multitude of sunbeams ripped through the sky, to create a magnificent rainbow. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. She brought her hand back to her side and watched her handprint fade into the arch of colour in the sky. Red, orange, purple, green, blue, white. She smiled again. She was all right.
Everything is going to be fine. The world is my sun and my rain. I just have to learn how to combine the two into this rainbow.
I'm going to be just fine.
And she stood at the window.
And watched as the sun came out. It was phenomanal. Rain was still pouring liberally from the sky that seemed almost cloudless, and was illuminated by the brilliance of the early evening sun. The rain drops were like little arrows of light, singing as they danced on their descent. The white curtains wafted slightly, and she placed her hand on the cool glass pane. Sun and rain at the same time, harmonious. The sounds of her mother yelling angrily downstairs ebbed away as she heard the tune in her head. The tune that played in her head at times like these. Her mother was not always like this. In fact, it was rare. But when an arguement did flare up, it was terrible. The furious and pointless screams, the rigid silences that followed, and the feeling of non-existance.
She closed her eyes and felt the vibrations of the rain. She didn't really care about the fight going on downstairs between her mother and sister. She didn't really care that the day before, it was her standing helplessly in the kitchen as her mother suddenly burst into a rage and shouted and screamed over nothing. She knew it would blow over in a couple of days. Besides, she was going to her dad's the next night, and all would be well. Well, almost. Truth be told, there was something more painful in her heart. There was another reason she stood at the window, thinking of that slow beautiful romantic melody, crying as she gazed at the golden rain falling from a sapphire sky. Such a beautiful moment deserved to be spent thinking of a beautiful person. The person who broke her heart, but still owned all the pieces. He was away, now. And he promised that upon his return, they would start over, as she had requested. But her old insecurities had arisen as she lay on her bed listening to the sounds of her mother's screams and her sister's sobs. What if he returns...with another...what if he forgets to think about me, like he said he would? He promised to think of me. What if the romantic encounter I envision in my dreams is not to be? I have such flighty, girly fancies, that are incredibly far-fetched. I am getting my hopes up. But if one does not get one's hopes up, then one must not be human. It is only human to dream of what we desire most. She had got out of bed, and walked to the window, and watched as the neighbourhood children played in the glistening wet street and the parents shook their heads, smiling. But none of that mattered. Her thoughts were far away from her real life. Away from her lovely home and her vicious mother. Away from her body, her eyes, her hair. How pretty she must have looked, gazing so vacantly at the weather, big tears sliding silently down her cheeks and landing with a soft drop on the teddy bears that adorned her window sill as sunlight streamed in.
She closed her eyes, hearing the music in her head, fantasizing about a fleeting glance, a handshake, a hug. She opened her eyes. Her sister yelled something at her mother, a brave action, and stormed up the stairs, past her closed door, and into her own room, the door of which she slammed. Her mother yelled mean things to herself for a while, slamming things around in the kitchen. She smiled. She thought about her day. She realized that, outside of her bedroom, in a world full of sunlight and rain, she had many friends who cared deeply about her. Just that afternoon she had been out with a new friend, who made her laugh and brightened her day. The next day, she was going out again with another friend. Her best friend in the whole world, who she would be seeing shortly, was a wonderful person who was so special. She thought about all these people and sighed. It didn't matter about her mother, or even about her broken heart. Everything was okay.
The song in her head played gracefully over and over again. As she thought about the one far away, the one who still had her heart, one last time, the rain stopped. A multitude of sunbeams ripped through the sky, to create a magnificent rainbow. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. She brought her hand back to her side and watched her handprint fade into the arch of colour in the sky. Red, orange, purple, green, blue, white. She smiled again. She was all right.
Everything is going to be fine. The world is my sun and my rain. I just have to learn how to combine the two into this rainbow.
I'm going to be just fine.
And she stood at the window.
Monday, July 18, 2005
A Bit Of Happiness
It's a song from .hack/sign (I know, I know, anime nerd alert!) and it's really sweet and sad and, dare I say, romantic. Anyway, I am not working 'til Thursday, which makes me a happy bunny.
Aaaaaugh, I still have to put my fucking laundry away before my mother gets home. Shit.
Musical Quote of the Day
"Shine bright morning light
Now in the air the spring is coming
Sweet blowing wind
Singing down the hills and valleys
Keep your eyes on me
Now we're on the edge of Hell
Dear my love sweet morning light
Wait for me you've gone much farther
Too far"
-.hack/sign Title: Fake Wings
It's a song from .hack/sign (I know, I know, anime nerd alert!) and it's really sweet and sad and, dare I say, romantic. Anyway, I am not working 'til Thursday, which makes me a happy bunny.
Aaaaaugh, I still have to put my fucking laundry away before my mother gets home. Shit.
Musical Quote of the Day
"Shine bright morning light
Now in the air the spring is coming
Sweet blowing wind
Singing down the hills and valleys
Keep your eyes on me
Now we're on the edge of Hell
Dear my love sweet morning light
Wait for me you've gone much farther
Too far"
-.hack/sign Title: Fake Wings
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
