Three, Two, One

Yay!
Frick I'm tired. So not much of a blog entry today. I'll get better, I promise. But for now, you is all have to deal.

Four

Well, apart from being tired, as per usual, things are okay. My shift tomorrow is 11-7:30. Still eight hours, but I don't have to open or close. Hoorah! I also bumped into Kari today. I had desires to steal her coat. But I did not.
THINGS TO DO!
-Send letter to Liz
-Call Val
-Draw picture for Felicia

Musical Quote of the Day

"I wanna kiss you every hour
Every minute
Every day"

-Darkness Title: I Believe In A Thing Called Love
I think that's what my sister said t'was called...

Five

Today was a long, unpromising start to the week of working at the store.
Let me explain.
First of all, it's hella busy. All the time. So anyway, at around 5:00, I saw this girl take a tie...one of those old Avril Lavigne wannabe ties that no one likes anymore...she walked to the back corner by the stuffed animals and kid purses, took off the tag, hide it in the purses, roll up the tie, and stuff it in her pocket. I let Katia know, and watched her to see what she was going to do next. I walked around to where she left the tag so when I called her on it, I could show her I had proof. I looked up in the mirror and caught her eye. I didn't say anything, but I think she knew from my expression I was on to her. She grabbed a pair of earrings, took the tie out of her pocket, and went to pay for them. I was on her tail the whole time, and she knew it. At the cash desk, she was acting all innocent. "Oh, it didn't have a tag when I picked it up, is that okay?" Yeah, whatever, lady. Frankly, as much as I would have liked to bust her ass, I didn't want to be there for hours waiting for the police to come. If I apprehend someone I have to wait to fill out the police report, and it was almost the end of the day and I was very tired. So she left without incident. Yay. I enforce the law with an iron fist.
Second thing that happened...Mom stopped by and had me get some stuff for her on my discount. However, Katia was on her break, and I can't ring in my own employee purchases. She left me some money so I could buy them later. Which I did. Anyway, the end of the day rolled around and I grabbed the bag, the deposit, and the garbage bag. Me and Katia went to the garbage disposal in what I call the dark underbelly of the mall. It's not like a regular dumpster...its a huge rectangle...kinda like a horse stable the with the bottom part closed and the top half open so you throw your garbage inside there. The the top part can come down and compress all the trash into magical garbage cubes. Or something. Katia was tired so she just put her garbage on the big pile outside the disposal. I chucked mine into the disposal and had a laugh about how it would be terrible if I threw the deposit in there. I didn't, though. Anyway, I drop off the deposit, am walking to the car, and think...
"Oh...shit...my mom's stuff..."
So I run back to the store, it's not there. I suspected I had thrown it out. I bumped into Katia and she held my coat while I climbed the garbage mountain, into the disposal, and started rumaging through the smelly waste. Katia kept asking if I was sure it was in there. Of course, I found it, and said "See, I told you it was in here!" Katia started laughing hysterically. I then realized what was so funny.
"I guess I shouldn't sound righteous when I'm sitting in a pile of garbage, huh?"
And that was my day.
No music. Sorry.

Six

Augh...Christmas hoards...no day off until Thursday...urge to kill...rising...
I am so tired. And my feet hurt. So do my whole legs in fact. Shit, I is need to go to bed early tonight. Oh well, at least I get a ride to and from work tomorrow.
In other news, I wrapped presents today. T'was fun. Lets see...
Meagan is getting...
-Pirates of the Carribean socks
-Cell phone holder
-Handbag
-Pencilcase + accessories
-Earrings
-"Grow Your Own" Pirate treasure chest
Mom is getting...
-Travel mug
-Cell phone holder
-Pencilcase + accessories
-Necklace
-Happy Bunny pen
-Happy Bunny magnet
-Card holder
-Ceramic popcorn bowl
I'm sure I'm forgetting some things...and that I may end up getting them both a few more things. Yay Christmas.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Said the night wind to the little lamb
Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky little lamb
Do you see what I see?

A star
A star
Dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite"

-Oh...lots of people have performed it... Title: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Eight, Seven

Alright, alright, I'm cheating a little.
I bumped into Allison at the mall whilst on my break. We had New York Fries, and told stories about stupid customers. T'was fun. And also...Veronica is a lovely girl, but her "break" turned into her getting her nails done for almost an hour, so I had to deal with the store all by myself. And it's a Friday at Christmas time. So I was unhappy.
Anyway, there is a Christmas song I really like called "Baby Please Come Home" and there are...like...five different versions of it on our Claire's Christmas CD. One of them is by Cher. Whom I enjoy. But there is one and everytime I hear it I'm like "I bet that's Death Cab for Cutie!". And it was! So that makes the number of times that has happened involving Death Cab is...twice.
Shut up, I am teh coolorz.

Musical Quote of the Day

"The snow's coming down
I'm watching it fall
Watching the people around
Baby please come home

The church bells in town
They're ringing a song
What a happy sound
Baby please come home

They're singing deck the halls
But it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
All the fun we had last year

Pretty lights on the trees
I'm watching them shine
You should be here with me
Baby please come home

Baby please come home
Baby please come home

They're singing deck the halls
But it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
All the fun we had last year

If there was a way
I'd hold back these tears
But it's Christmas day
Baby please come home

Baby please come home
Baby please come home"

-Death Cab for Cutie Title: Baby Please Come Home

Nine

I have to colour those choir sheets...and my music passport! Shit!
Countdown: 9

Ten

I have to work...that's fine. Although I hear it's been very busy. Eeeeeep.
I learned how to make origami snails. Meet my buddy, Puffy the Pink Paper Snail. He is enjoyable. I tried to make Patrick the Purple Paper Parrot, but it was too hard.
No Parrot for me. Sad face.
Countdown: 10

Musical Quote of the Day

"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere

The tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Wanna feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

Went to school was I very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me"

-Gary Jules Title: Mad World
I'm not sure why they have this song on the Gears of War commercial. Or what it has to with giant octosquidulas. But it's a good song.
Hehheeehe...octosquidulas.

Bathrobe Weekend

I enjoy spending a lot of time in my pyjamas/bathrobe, okay?
Okay.
So, things are normal. Nothing to report. I have tomorrow off too so I'm pretty happy about that. And then I work Tuesday, and am off Wednesday/Thursday. Which also brings me joy.
What does not bring me joy is the whole issue about me working on Boxing Day. Yes, it sucks. No, I don't want to do it. But I also know that sometimes in life you have to do things that you don't want to do. So, everyone has two choices. They can either complain about it, and give me a hard time about it, or they can just accept it and be there for me. The point is, it's gonna get done, with or without help. So how everyone deals with it is up to them.
And that's that.

December 1st!

Yay! Now I can be out and out Christmas-ey! Karikins, don't forget...Wednesday...early gift exchange. Be there. Or I'll kill you.
Anyway, tonight I got paid $30.00 to eat pizza, play with Play-Dough, and watch the Lion King. I'd forgotten the joys of babysitting. Jeremy and Alexsandra are 9 and 7 respectfully, and are extremely well-behaved, unlike the last little monster I watched over. My mom and their mom, Shannon, work together and tonight was their Christmas party. The dad was out of town so I got to watch them. It was easy. I'm fairly certain I enjoyed the Play-Dough more than they did...for example...
Jeremy: I made an alien!
Ally: I made a waffle!
Me: OMG I MADE TEH COOLORZ SNAIL L33T SKILLZ ROFLCOPTER!
It was great.

Musical Quote of the Day

"This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear"

-Linkin Park Title: My December

Well Well Well

I apparently am getting some sort of cough/cold.
My mom is in a terrible mood.
I'm exhausted.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Black black heart
Why would you offer more
Why would you make it easier on me
Satisfy
I'm on fire
I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens
All your sex and your diamonds"

-Usher and...some girl Title: Black Black Heart

Holy Liberal Spending, Batman!!!

So...much...shopping...I'm in shock. Oh well. At least it's over with, for the most part. Hoorah! I is get you all nice pressies!
Also, more stupidity in the news. Honestly, it bothers me how people seriously miss the point. Recently, a teen died due to being stabbed as he tried to rob a man and his girlfriend. He was Native, and his parents and family saying the reason no charges have been laid is because of race.
Um...hello?
He was trying to rob them.
The guy was practicing self defence, and as soon as he did it, it is said he ran to a nearby convenience store for help. It's not like he just bolted or anything.
I'm not saying stabbing the kid was right, and I'm sure the court will probably lay some sort of charge on him...but honestly...your kid was MUGGING the guy. Maybe instead of trying to dodge pointing fingers by claiming something about race, you should deal with the fact that your kid was delinquent and maybe it has something to do with you.
That's my humble opinion, anyway.

Christmas Comin' Early...

Well, the shopping part at least. I know, I know, it's only gonna be November 25th, and it'll be a Saturday, but it has to be done. I'm going with Karla-la (Kari, I would invite you, but I'm getting your present...and I know you'd peek!)
Also...I will have to dress warm, and some sort of armour might be neccessary is to protect myself from the hordes of irritable shoppers hunting for Christmas gifts. The first person to nudge me and not apologize, or give me a dirty look if I accidentally nudge them and apologize, is getting a smack from my oversized shopping bags.
Gonna be fun...right?

You know, I've been so stumped about the Musical Quote of the Day recently. Sorry.

World of Whorecraft

If anyone uses that line, they owe me royalties. Because I thought of it first.
I was just playing in the World and realized how cool each race is. Except for Gnomes. Gnomes fucking suck. So much.
If I ever play as a Gnome, you have permission to kill me.

Holy Crapping Moneys!

BIG PAYCHECK!!! Let the Christmas shopping begin!

I Look Like I Know Things...About...Stuff...

Got my new glasses, and damn are they spiffy! It's nice to be able to see again. Plus they have a sweet sunglass attachment that instantly makes me the matrix.
So, on Saturday I'm going Christmas shopping. Yayayayayayayayay! I may not be able to get all of it in one trip, but I'll try. Usually I try and hold off on the Christmas-ey stuff until December, but Imma be so busy my head asplode. Plus I've had a little preview of what the mall is going to be like in a few weeks...it scares me. Now, don't get me wrong, I like hustle and bustle as much as the next person, but hustle and bustle to the point of not being able to walk down the mall without bumping into someone, who you then apologize to, and then they proceed to give you a dirty look or whisper to their friend, "Bitch." is not good. Like the last time I was in Chinook mall.

I can't think of a Musical Quote of the Day. Sorry.

Le Gross

Saw a dead and rotting cat carcus on my way to work. Gross. It's teeth looked very sharp. Ew.
Also...why is everyone I talk to in such a bad fucking mood today?!

Musical Quote of the Day

"Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass
Broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live"

-Barenaked Ladies Title: Old Apartment

A Job at Garage?!

I went shopping at Garage today and the manager offered me some part time hours because I was so "outgoing and funny". So I might be working a few extra hours a week, and I'll get 50% off...except then I really will have no money...but cute clothes!
Also, some realtors are here duking it out with my mom over the asking price of the house. Someone is putting in an offer. It turns out we won't move until January...I dunno. It's gonna be weird, but at least I'll have one last Christmas in the house I love.

Oh Santa...

I gotta admit, the Santa at the mall display certainly has Christmas spirit. He walked to his castle ringing jingle bells and really playing the part. It was cute.
I can't wait to get paid and go Christmas shopping. And pay my rent, would be good, too, I suppose. I know what I'm getting for almost everyone. And it's not all from Claire's, even though I get a sweet discount. Some of it is.
Oh, yeah, another thing about the store is that the Christmas CD, for the most part, SUCKS. I heard several renditions of "Frosty the Snowman", each one worst than the last. So, I'd better charge up my iPod so I can listen to it after my shift to drown out the effects of Hilary Duff squawking her way through "The Little Drummer Boy". Which was one of my favourite Christmas carols but has successfully been ruined, thankyou very much.
At least I have tomorrow off.
I can't remember what I was going to say...which sucks because I think it may have been semi-important.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
But under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes

Caught in the undertow
Just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow
Just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
On becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you"

-Linkin Park Title: Numb

Insert Title Here

I've had a kinda crappy week. Here is what I learned

1. Don't judge a book by it's cover, no matter how gay that cover may be, or you'll be totally surprised when that gay looking book asks for your number and says it thinks you're hot.
2. Eggs hurt, and obviously dumb fucks have nothing better to do.
3. Watching Dr Phil on my day off was a good way to kill time, but a piece of my soul is dead forever.

Sorry to all of my readers (hah, yeah, like all three of you) that I've been so depressed lately. There's a lot going on...and a lot not going on at the same time. So, yeah...in future, will try and be more upbeat, but I can't make any promises.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Train this chaos
Turn it into light
I've gotta see you one last night
Before the lions take their share
Leave us in pieces
Scattered everywhere

Just gimme a chance to hold on
Gimme a chance to hold on
Gimme a chance to hold on
Just gimme a chance to hold on to

It's so clear now
That you are all that I have
I have no fear
'Cause you are all that I have
It's so clear now
That you are all that I have
I have no fear
'Cause you are all that I have"

-Snow Patrol Title: You're All That I Have
Have I done this song before? Maybe? Whatever, I'm doing it again.

So Depressing!

Even though this video is really good, I can't help but think that this anime could very well be the most depressing in existance. Watch the video and try and tell me otherwise.

No, You Cannot Get A Discount For No Goddamn Reason

End of story.
I am very grumpy. Consider yourself warned.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers farms and state lines
The distance from me to where you'd be
It's only finger lengths that I see
I touch the place
Where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases
Of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are
I lay down on the
Cold ground
I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your
Warm arms"

-Snow Patrol with Martha Wainwright Title: Set the Fire to the Third Bar
Don't let me listen to this song when I am in a bad mood. Like right now, for instance.

Mondoom.

Worst. Monday. Ever.
Kevin is gone, Elizabeth is gone, I had to go to work, work sucked, I am having knee pain.
This does not bode well.
But I do have my spectacularily awesome iPod Nano. Yes, you are all teh jealous. It is so spiffy, and I have an iPod case now so it won't cry if/when I drop it. Like that one time...

Musical Quote of the Day

"And I don't think that I can go to school today
Without you
Without you
Without you

Without you
Without you
Without you
Monday morning"

-Prozzak Title: Monday Morning

Must Fight Urge To Punch People In The Face.

Fucking shoplifters.
Anyway, long day, walking around down town trying to find a building I pass by all the freaking time, and when I get there nothing can be done yet. Freaking hell.
So tomorrow I'm meeting Kevin at the airport via bus. Hope I make it on time! I'm teh excitORZ!
Also, a shout out to Orry! It was nice to see you...and I enjoyed our dialogue!
*Orry pokes me in the ribs from behind whilst I'm sorting out my stuff for a piercing. I see it's Orry and not some creepy guy*
Me: Orry, I am going to murder you. But first I'm gonna give you a big hug!
Orry: *grin* I'll be right back, I'm gonna get a frapanofarchino...that didn't come out right.
Me: N0, no it did not.
T'was exciting. Upon his return we talked about how sometimes stuff from that Starbucks tastes like cigarette butts. We can't figure out why.
Kevin, baby, I love you! Can't wait til tomorrow!

Musical Quote of the Day

"It's not your fault
So please stop your crying now"

-New Found Glory Title: It's Not Your Fault
If I could make AMV's, I would make one to this song. And it would be fucking awesome.

Day After Tomorrow!

There is much joy.
Also, tomorrow I have to call Crescent Heights and lay down the smack down. I did too return my math text.
And now, a good song that has been stuck in me head all day.
It was a long day.

Musical Quote of the Day

"You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now
Here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young"

-The Killers Title: When You Were Young
This is a great song. In the words of Video on Trial; "Little do people know that Jesus was actually a Latino cowboy."

Not the Greatest Week.

Let's just be honest. It has sucked. Somewhere between breaking my glasses, breaking my mp3 player, having my period, missing Kevin, missing my dad, having shoplifters experience cardiac arrest, having to work all the damn time, people fainting onstage, getting a fucking train ticket (which I am going to appeal, damn it!) and thus not being able to purchase a new iPod Nano, waiting an hour in the cold for Veronica, getting hassled by high guys at the train station, going to the sleaziest club ever, having to deal with her racist boyfriend, freaking out because I almost lost my debit card, and having to wait for Wednesday for anything good to happen, I think it's been a pretty shitacular few days.

Musical Quote of the Day

"We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
Then not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never
Change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?"

-Snow Patrol Title: Chasing Cars
Yep. I needed a good cry. This song is a) AMAZING because it's gorgeous and his voice is incredible and makes me think about the love that I have, and b) AWFUL because it makes me cry in that stupid-little-girl way because it's super emotional. Way to go, Snow Patrol. Way to go.

Thou Shalt Not Cause Heart Failure in Delinquent Teens

I had such a crazy day yesterday! Specifically, last night. No wonder I still have a headache.
So I'm gonna try and keep this as short as possible...basically, I caught this girl shoplifting. Her friend didn't take anything, but she knew her buddy was shoplifting and was looking out to make sure I wasn't watching (which of course I was). So she was an "accessory" (no pun intended, as I do work at an accessory store). Anyway, I caught them, and when I'd called security and informed her that she was going to arrested for shoplifting, she complained of "chest pain". I told her, calmly, to sit down and relax. Of course, I wasn't buying it, because I'm sure a shoplifter certainly would try a lame excuse like that. So security arrives, and she tells them she has a heart condition.
Oh.
But that's no excuse! She was taken to the back room with her friend, and security waited with her. I did the paperwork I needed to do, and waited for the police. As it turns out, the reason they were taking so long was because someone was being arrested at Shoppers for stealing, and there was a drunk guy upstairs in the food court causing problems, plus they were understaffed. So it was quite a wait. The girl's mom showed up. The kid was 16 but her mom was called because she was having heart trouble. So they're all waiting back there with the security guard, I'm just filling out the last of my report, when suddenly I hear screaming and yelling for me to call 9-1-1 as the girl has collapsed.
Fuck.
So I call them straight away, tell them I need an ambulance right now and am put through to the ambulance dispatcher. I tell him everything. He told me to calm down. I actually was calm, but I was talking fast (as usual). So I kept relaying to him her status...unconcious...shallow breathing...low pulse...oh, she's concious again...unconcious again. It was awkward, because I was using the store phone, and the security guard was in the doorway of the store room telling me what I needed to tell the dispatcher. It was scary, but at least I managed to keep my head. So her mom has done this before I guess so she knew what to do but was very shaken. I assured her EMS would be here soon. Luckily the store only had one customer at the time. Me and Maria moved all of the stuff out of the way so the paramedics could get through, and I went and met them at the door. There were two lady paramedics with a stretcher and about three or four firemen. I told them everything and they got the girl okay. One paramedic laughed when I told her I was gonna have a heart attack in a minute. How stressful! So they all left and that was that. Later when I was cleaning up after close, police finally arrived. I told them what happened, and they got my information.
So...we obviously couldn't arrest her, but Claire's will still press charges. Whatever...I'm just glad that a) I caught a shoplifter and b)she didn't die. But the whole time I was thinking "If this doesn't teach her a lesson, nothing will." I mean, honestly, if you have a heart condition that is aggravated when you panic and your heart races, which will happen when you are told you're going to jail for shoplifting, maybe you shouldn't shoplift.
Just a thought.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Days swiftly come and go
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall

Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing swing swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed
By a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?"

-All American Rejects Title: Swing Swing

Aaaaaaaaaaargh...Die, Period!

I know, I'm not one for subtlety. I'm sorry, but when I'm having my period, y'all are gonna hear about it. Especially men. And yes, I do have every right to bitch. If you were losing this much blood, you'd die.
Needless to say, my red cell count is probably rock bottom. No wonder I'm moody. Stupid iron defficiency. And not being able to spell it.
Whisper of the Heart is a cute movie, guys. But hella long. Not as good as Howl's Moving Castle, but still good. It made me kinda sad...made me think of Japan and about how much I want to go back. I miss my host family.
Oh well. This time next week I'll be completely happy. And I might have my iPod Nano by then! Okay...okay, I admit it, I said I wasn't going to get a new mp3 player but...Nano's are so fucking sweet! Have you seen those things?! They're TINY!
My glasses are broken. I'm getting new ones. What style? Not rimless...they looked nice but I want a change. Something more substantial.
And now, let us cry our eyes out and eat Halloween candy whilst listening to the

Musical Quote of the Day

"I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do

I don't mind
I don't care
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden
And I have the skill
Yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind
I don't care
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same
In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same"

-Sick Puppies Title: All The Same

Super Emotion, POWER UP!

Despite the humourous title of this blog, I am quite depressed and emotionally drained. Also, tired. I should go to bed, I suppose, but my mind is absolutely not ready to rest.
And it probably doesn't help with all the candy.
I'm just tired of everything.
And I'm fucking pissed off that my mp3 player is broken. I don't particularily want a new one, either. This one is cute, and has Hello Kitty stickers, and I liked it when it was working and I'll never get another one because Mom is going to be furious when she finds out it's busted. Plus, even if I did get another one for Christmas or something, I sure as heck wouldn't get anything else, and I'd probably break that one too. So, no mp3 for me.
Fuck I'm lonely.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend
But does he notice
My feelings for him?
When will he see
How much he means to me?
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions leave us then?
And though I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may it doesn't last
And will we ever
End up together?
No I think not
It's never to become
For I am not the one"

-The Nightmare Before Christmas Title: Sally's Song

I NEED A HUG!!!

Someone give me a hug right now! I've been feeling quite emotional of late...mix that in with a cute video and a touching song and I'm a gonner. Anyway, so...yeah...HUG ME, DAMN IT!

Arrrrgh...

I need to stop eating so much sugar and start eating healthier. No particular reason why, but I've had nothing but junk food today and I feel so gross. Ick. Anyway, my wrist is cramped because of a rather long session of World of Warcraft. I hate it when they make me go to and from the same person! So annoying!
Well. That's all from me for now. Can you dig it?

Musical Quote of the Day

"And he tells himself
It will be alright
Happiness is just around the corner
And he tells himself
It will be okay
Happiness is just a life away"

-October Project Title: Johnny

Arrrrgh...

I need to stop eating so much sugar and start eating healthier. No particular reason why, but I've had nothing but junk food today and I feel so gross. Ick. Anyway, my wrist is cramped because of a rather long session of World of Warcraft. I hate it when they make me go to and from the same person! So annoying!
Well. That's all from me for now. Can you dig it?

Musical Quote of the Day

"And he tells himself
It will be alright
Happiness is just around the corner
And he tells himself
It will be okay
Happiness is just a life away"

-October Project Title: Johnny

See, Ninja's DO Need Love!

Hahaha, lame to blog yet another video, but what can I say? Just enjoy, you cretins.

Stupid Stupid People!

Okay...when people die...I have sympathy. I honestly do. And I'm sorry that the example I'm about to use involves a 13 year old child. I just wish that people retelling the stories weren't so...stupid!
So, for those of you who don't know, a few days ago a 13 year old boy in Calgary sustained head injuries when a rock flew up from under a bus wheel and struck him in the head. The first time I heard of it, they said it was a "freak accident", and I was like "That IS a freak accident..."
But I was misinformed.
Today as I perused the CFCN website for weather information, I can across the story again, informing the public that the boy had died of his injuries today. And I decided to read further into the article, which proclaimed that he had died of a "freak accident." Now, my theory on a freak accident is something that you don't have ANY control over. My uncle getting struck by lightning=freak accident. A freak accident is something that could not have been prevented. But this boy and his friend were playing in a bus trap and decided to put a rock on it to see what would happen, and then a bus came and the rock flew up and hit the one boy. I'm sorry, but that is not a "freak accident". It was completely preventable, had those boys not been where they were not supposed to be, doing things they were not supposed to do. A tragedy, to be sure, and I have sympathy for the family. But it's not a freak accident, it's a valuable lesson in DON'T PLAY IN BUS TRAPS AND DO STUPID STUFF THAT COULD GET YOU KILLED!
Sorry...for me, this very much relates to the guy whose brother died when he fell off the platform and was struck by a train. The guy petitioned to have guard rails put up and claimed it was a freak accident, and only guard rails could have saved his brother. You know what else would have saved him? YOU TWO NOT GOOFING AROUND ON THE PLATFORM AND STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BRIGHT YELLOW LINE THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY BEHIND!
Sorry...just sometimes...the world's stupidity hurts me.

LOSER!

Frick, I hate myself today! I made my mom pretty angry, but for the first time since I can remember when she is absolutely right and I am SO wrong. So I feel bad. We didn't have a fight, but I did something dumb and got in trouble about it. So I admit my guilt. Anyway, that's that.
In lighter news, happy happy birthday to Jo-Ann! Yay!

Musical Quote of the Day

"Now my enchants are all o'erthrown
And what strength I have's my own
Which is most faint now t'is true
I must be here confined by you

But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill or else my project fails
Which was to please
Which was to please
Now I want spirits to enforce
Art to enchant
And my ending is despair
Unless I be relieved by prayer

Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults
As you from crimes would pardon'd be
Let your indulgence set me free"

-Loreena McKennitt Title: Prosperino's Speech (from The Tempest by William Shakespear)

Snore....

I don't really have much to talk about today. Heehee, sorry.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I wanna be loved
Just like everyone I know
Yeah
I wanna be home
Tired of being so alone

And everybody thinks I'm so strong baby
Living this life alone
But don't you think that I could be lonely
Somebody fill this empty hole

I don't want it
I don't need it
I think I feel it again
Yeah

I wanna be loved
Just like everyone I know
Yeah
I wanna be home
Tired of being so alone

And everybody thinks its so easy
Fool me with feelings never changed
But try to live in search for a reason to wake up
And start a brand new day

Don't wanna hear about it
I got myself
Don't wanna hear it again
Yeah

I wanna be loved
Just like everyone I know
Yeah
I wanna be home
Tired of being so alone

And everybody thinks I'm so strong baby
Living this life alone
And don't you think that I could be lonely
Somebody fill this empty hole"

-Prozzak Title: I Want To Be Loved
This song makes me sad. But I like it.

Glee Abounds!

My dearest friends, it has indeed snowed! And there is so much joy right now...so much joy.
But alas, I stayed inside today because for some reason I am very tired and just not feeling good. I can't explain it. Partly sleep deprivation, partly missing Kevin oodles, and just general stuff.
Although, I can't feel too bad, because I'm probably the only person in the city that is enjoying the snow!

Musical Quote of the Day

"I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?

Yeah we're gonna let it slide

Don't you life we kill
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you
Don't suppose I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
It's something I can exchange
I live around it

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?
Mmmm slide

And I'll do anything you ever dream
To be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
Oh may
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh may
Do you wanna get married
And run away?"

-Goo Goo Dolls Title: Slide
I started that quote in a weird place. Whatevsah.

Lost Memory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castell_Coch
This is a castle in Wales. When I was last in Wales, Uncle Paul and Auntie Shirley took me and my sister there, along with my cousin Sean. It was fun, and when we got in there, I turned to my sister and said "Have we been here before?" Meagan answered "Probably." I was fifteen at the time.
So, I was talking to my Dad today and said I wanted to go with Elizabeth to Castell Coch. He said I'd been there before, when I was a little girl. He said I was two and a half or something...VERY little. Anyway, he said that there were a whole bunch of people there dressed up like minstrels and knights. You know, in a Renaissance Fair sort of thing. Dad said there were a whole bunch of people there and we were all watching the musicians. And one of them, dressed like a jester, walked over to me, knelt down, and asked me what I wanted them to play. And dad said I said "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
And they played it.

I wish I could remember that...

AMV- I Miss You

So, I totally don't even know what is going on this video...I've never seen Naruto. Kari sort of explained it to me. From what I have ascertained by watching this video, there are ninjas, and they die. In various ways...electric hand through the heart, fifteen katanas inserted into the back...acupuncture gone horribly wrong...Anyway, this is still super sad and almost makes me cry every time I watch it...with the death and the blood and the sadness and the snow landing on his eyelid and melting like a tear....

One Word...

1. Yourself: Lonely
2. Your Lover: Wonderful
3. Your Hair: Tangled
4. Your Mother: Evil
5. Your Father: Gone
6. Your Favorite Item: Hat
7. Your Dream Last Night: Strange
8. Your Favorite Drink: Diet Coke
9. Your Dream Home: Non-existant
10. The Room You Are In: Kitchen/living room
11. Your Pet: Various
12. Who You Are Now: Confused
13. Who You Want to be in ten years: Happy
14. What You Want to be in ten years: Together
15. Where You Want to be in ten years: Calgary
16. Your Best Friend: Kari
17. One of Your Wishlist Items: Kevin
18. Your Gender: Female
19. The Last Thing You Did: Work
20. What You Are Wearing: Clothes
21. Your Favorite Weather: Snow
22. Your Favorite Book: Long
The Last Thing You Ate: Panini
24. Your Life: Messy
25. Your Mood: Tired

It's Been A While...

I'm sad, and I'm not gonna lie. Kevin is gone and I won't see him until December. I love you, darling! Also, things with my mom suck major ass.
Whatever.

Musical Quote of the Day

"So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes
Or speed trains
Or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back"

-Death Cab for Cutie Title: The New Year

Happy Birthday to Mee-eee!

Well, kidlets, I am nineteen. Feels the same. This is the last year of my teenager-dom. I'd better make the most of it, I guess. I'd like to extend a big thankyou to Kari for getting me the coolest birthday present ever. Lots of Hello Kitty. Even Hello Kitty wrapping paper! Haha, at least I'm easy to shop for!
And a special thankyou to the choir for singing Happy Birthday to me...and for giving me birthday hugs...and to all of my friends.
YAYAY KEVIN GETS HOME TOMORROW!

Musical Quote of the Day

"I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"

-Death Cab for Cutie (I KNEW it was them!) Title: Soul Meets Body

Must...Stay...Awake...

Dayum I'm tired! Work was fine. I have work tomorrow too. But only 4 hours, and then I'm gonna stop by the school and talk to Ms Strome for a while. Or just hang out downtown for a while. Kari, wanna come with?

SNOW!

Oh man, that's right! It's supposed to snow on Friday night! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I know, I know, you're all going to hate it, but at least I won't have to wait until like...November, like last year. No more unseasonable warmth! And I can wear my warm coat and make snowballs and stuff!
Of course, now if it doesn't snow, I'll be muchly annoyed!

Musical Quote of the Day

"Yes indeed I'm
Alone again
And here comes emptiness
Crashing in
It's either love or hate
But I can't find inbetween
'Cause I've been with the witches
And I have
Been with a queen

It wouldn't have worked out
Anyway
So now it's just another lonely day
Yeah
Further along
We just may
But for now it's just another lonely day

Wish there was something I
Could say or do
I can resist anything but
The temptation from you
But I'd rather walk alone
Than chase you around
I'd rather fall myself
Than let you drag me on down

It wouldn't have worked out
Anyway
So now it's just another lonely day
Yeah
Further along
We just may
But for now it's just another lonely day

Yesterday seems like
Life ago
'Cause the one I love
Today I hardly know
You I held so close
In my heart
Oh dear
Grow further from me
With every fallen tear

It wouldn't have worked out
Anyway
So now it's just another lonely day
Yeah
Further along
We just may
But for now it's just another lonely day
For now it's just another lonely day
Yeah
For now it's just another lonely day"

-Ben Harper Title: Another Lonely Day
I just like this song.

Excited!

So much joy right now! So much joy! 4 days until Kevin comes home! Yayay!
And Kari...why don't you come sleep over on the 13th (Wednesday, after choir) and then on the 14th we can go do the thing I can't say because Kevin will probably read this and then it won't work. Also...bubbletea on the way. Yes, lets do that. We will drink many bubbleteas. I plan on having two, don't you?
Hahaha, sorry, I know I'm weird. It's cool, right? Right? RIGHT!?
And we can watch the new Ask A Ninja's and laugh at the hilarity!
Honestly...t'is all a charade to cover how desperately lonely I am right now! Not like...depressed, but HOLY GOD do I miss you, Kevin. See, again with the me being a loser. But Kari, you are a good friend and I look forward to spending time with you too! You're my bestest friend! But you understand. Also...I guess Evan is kinda cool. Does Evan even read this? No, no I don't think so. He's too busy coughing his lungs up and objecting his cat to bulemia-by-proxxy. Except Sam is his cat, not his son. Evan, if you do read this, go see a doctor about that cough. I don't want you dying before I get a birthday hug. And by hug, I mean money.
Sorry, I'm rambling now. I appologize. Let's just get to the

Musical Quote of the Day

"I wanted you to know
That I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high
And steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high
And steal your pain

Cause I'm broken
When I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away"

-Seether and Amy Lee (of Evanescence glory) Title: Broken

Booooooooooooooooooots.

The most AMAZING boots in the whole world are in my possession! HAHAHA! Birthday boots! I got my birthday money a little early so I could buy them. They are....just...damn they make my legs look hot!
Also, a cute denim mini skirt, considering the only denim mini I have is WAAAAAY too short, even for me. And a sweater that was 50% off because of a slight defect! Yay paying $20.00 instead of $40.00! Actually...not paying at all...my mom paid. YAY!

Musical Quote of the Day

"These boots were made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots
Are gonna walk all over you"

-I don't know, I don't care, it's an awesome song! Title: The...Boot...Song?

Markdowns....OF DOOM!!!

So work was fine today...not busy at all. There was only one ear piercing, and thankfully I didn't have to do it. Amanda (unforetunately) had to cut down on my hours, so I only worked until 4:00 today and am working 5:00 till 9:00 tomorrow. But I did get a nice paycheque, and I get paid tomorrow from the Belcher, and Friday the 15th I get my first direct deposit paycheque from Claire's. Woohoo! I LOOOOVE having my own money. Also, Kari, we will discuss this either next week at choir, if not before, but you and I have to go and do "nothing" on my birthday...nope...not a thing...
See, I can have conspiracies, too!

Musical Quote of the Day

"I'm really close tonight
And I'm feeling like I'm moving inside her
Lying the dark
I think that I'm beginning to know her
Let it go
I'll be there when you call

And whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears
Rain down on me
Whenever I touch
Your slow turning pain

You're hiding from me know
There's something in the way that you're talking
And the words don't sound right
But I hear them all moving inside you
Go
I'll be waiting when you call

Oh whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears
Rain down on me
Whenever I touch
Your slow turning pain

The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence
Or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead?

I fall
Whenever I fall at your feet
You let your tears
Rain down on me
Whenever I fall
Whenever I fall"

-Jesse Cook Title: Fall at Your Feet

Awwwww...so sad! Yesterday we listened to Lite 96 on the store radio. We're not supposed to, but me and Veronica couldn't take any more teeny bopper music. And this song played, and we fawned over the gorgeous sound of Jesse Cook's voice. Also, I really don't like the music we have to listen to all the time. Stupid stupid songs! There are a few good ones ("A Thousand Miles" "Everywhere" and "Move Along" are examples) but there is so much Raven, Hilary Duff, Cheetah Girls, etc. that I just want to break the next teenage girl I see in half. But if that's the worst of it, then I can deal. But honestly, I am not joking, today there was a rap rendition of the delightful nursery rhyme "Whose Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" from "The Three Little Pigs". Not. Joking. It didn't sound like the original song, of course, but I'm thinking, what kind of shitty rap group are you to sing that kind of crap? Do they honestly think that's quality music? Apparently, Mother Goose is their homegirl.

So Close...Yet So Far

Okay, officially wanting to speed up time to the 15th. I can't wait! It's so not fair! Hahah, sorry, I'm being silly. Anyway, I heard this song at work today and I guess it struck a nerve, because it's kinda suited to the situation I'm in...sort of...whatever...

Musical Quote of the Day

"Another summer day
Has come and gone away
But I wanna go home
Home
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
I miss you
You know"

-Michael Buble Title: Home

Yeah, so if you're looking to have a good cry, by all means, listen to this music. Seriously...

Choir Tomorrow...

Hoo boy...fun fun! I am excited, but it's gonna be weird having something to do every Wednesday.
Um, apart from that, not much is up. I feel...odd...lately. Not for any particular reason. It's a lot of things...nothing bad, but when they all get together they make me irritable and grumpy and very easily angry. I mean, don't worry, everything is okay, but I'm just feeling some angst is all. It's been a long time since angst bothered me. Maybe it's the birthday blues. Every discussion of my birthday with almost everyone has left me feeling depressed, because it feels like it's a burden on everyone. But even so, at least I'm looking forward to it, even if no one else is. Woo.
Also, my face is experiencing a break out of epic proportions, and some sort of heat rash has adorned the place around my mouth. Hoo-fucking-ray.

Musical Quote of the Day

"They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

They drank up the wine
And they got to talking
They now had more important things to say
And when the car broke down
They started walking
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

Anyone could see the road that they walk on
Is paved with gold
And it's always summer
They'll never get cold
They'll never get hungry
They'll never get old and grey
You could see their shadows wandering off somewhere
They won't make it home
But they really don't care
They wanted the highway
They're happy there today
Today"

-Fastball Title: The Way

B. O. R. E. D.

[x]1. smoked-I tried it...once...and thought I was going to die.
[x]2. consumed alcohol
[x]3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x]4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex-SLEPT. As in actual sleeping.
[x]5. made out with someone of the opposite sex
[x]6. made out with someone of the same sex
[x]7. had someone in your room of the opposite sex
[ ]8. bought porn
[ ]9. watched porn
[ ]10. done drugs
SCORE = 7

[x]11. taken pain killers
[ ]12. taken someone elses prescription medicine
[x]13. lied to your parents
[x]14. lied to a friend-White lie, it was neccessary!
[ ]15. snuck out of the house
[x]16. done something illegal-I drank underage a few times. The scandal of it!
[x]17. cut yourself-It was a weird time in my life, okay?
[ ]18. hurt someone
[x]19. wished someone to die
[ ]20. seen someone die
SCORE =5

[ ]21. missed curfew
[ ]22. stayed out all night
[x]23. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x]24. been to a therapist-Forced, is a more accurate word.
[ ]25. been to rehab-Not yet, but the Hello Kitty thing is getting out of hand.
[x]26. dyed your hair-Purple!
[ ]27. received a ticket
[ ]28. been in a wreck
[x]29. been to a club-One.
[x]30. been to a bar
SCORE= 5

[x]31. been to a wild party
[ ]32. seen the Mardi Gras
[ ]34. had a spring break in Florida
[ ]35. sniffed anything
[x]36. wore black nail polish
[x]37. wore arm bands
[ ]38. wore t-shirts with band names
[ ]39. listened to rap
[ ]40. own a 50 cent cd
SCORE= 3

[x]41. dressed gothic-For Halloween. But I was a punk in late junior high/early high school.
[x]42. dressed prep-Heehee!
[x]43. dressed punk
[ ]44. dressed grunge
[x]45. stolen something-A piece of gum when I was five. I got in so much trouble. Never again.
[ ]46. been too drunk to remember anything
[x]47. blacked out
[x]48. fainted
[ ]49. had a crush on your neighbor
[ ]50. had someone sneak into your room
SCORE= 6

[ ]51. snuck into some else's room
[x]52. had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ]53. been to a concert-OH GOD, WHY?! WHY IS THIS ONE EMPTY?!
[x]54. dry humped someone
[x]55. been called a slut
[x]56. called someone a slut-Well they were.
[ ]57. installed speakers in your car
[ ]58. broke a mirror
[x]59. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[x]60. brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush-My toothbrush now!
SCORE= 5

[ ]61. consider eminem the best rapper
[x]62. seen an R rated movie in theaters
[x]63. cruised the mall
[x]64. skipped school
[ ]65. had an eating disorder
[x]66. had an injury
[ ]67. gone to court
[ ]68. walked out of a restaurant without paying
[ ]69. caught something on fire
[x]70. lied about your age-To see the R rated movie, funnily enough.
SCORE= 5

[ ]71. owned an apartment
[ ]72. cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]73. cheated with someone
[ ]74. got in trouble with the police
[x]75. talked to a stranger
[ ]76. hugged a stranger
[ ]77. kissed a stranger
[ ]78. rode in the car with a stranger
[x]79. been sexually harrassed-Fuck you, Freddy.
[x]80. been verbally harrassed-I hated that bitch in grade 10 gym...
SCORE= 3

[ ]81. met face to face with someone you met online
[x]82. stayed online for 12 hours straight
[x]83. talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
[x]84. watched tv for 12 hours straight
[x]85. been to a fair
[x]86. been called a bad influence
[x]87. cursed
[ ]88. prank called someone
[x]89. laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
SCORE= 7

[x]91. cheated on homework
[x]92. held hands with someone of the opposite sex
[x]93. been pushed into a pool
[x]94. played pool
[ ]95. watched 5 hours of mtv straight-I don't like MTV. There, I said it.
[x]96. had a crush on someone 10 years older than you-Johnny Depp...grade 10 gym teacher...*sigh*]
[x]97. had a crush on someone younger than you
[ ]98. wear eyeliner
[x]99. skinny dipped-It was an accident!
[ ]100. laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
SCORE=7

TOTAL OF ALL= 53
10-20= goodie goodie
21-30= a little rebelious
31-40= getting hot baby
41-50= rebel
[x]51-60= bad girl/boy
61-70= bitch
71-80= can't believe you made it this far, asshole
81-90= damn
91-100= fucking bad ass

Yes, according to this list of random questions I found on the internet, I am a bad girl. Good to know.

Ugh...

Indian Summers....where summer-esque temperatures continue into fall.
Nooooo!
It's September 3rd, and it was 30 degrees today.
I can't handle that!
It had better be under 20 degrees soon, or I am going to have serious words with Mother Nature. That's right. I'm going to litter. Which I never do. That'll teach her!
Except then I'll feel really bad.
So, okay, I won't litter.
But I will do...something...unpleasant to nature!
Anyway, in other news, I am quite irritable of late, although I can't say why. Maybe I'm tired. Or maybe it's my period. You heard me. But I digress. I am grumpy and I apologize in advance if I say anything rude or uncalled for or what have you. It's just....it's a lot of things, okay? But I'll deal with it. Yo.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I'm lying here on the floor
Where you left
I think I took too much
I'm crying here
What have you done?
I thought it would be fun

I can't stay on your life support
There's a shortage in the switch
I can't stay on your morphine
'Cause it's making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again
But she's being a little bitch
I think I'll get outta here

Where I can run
Just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustated fears
And I swear
You're just like a pill
Instead of making me better
You keep making me ill
You keep making me ill"

-Pink Title: Just Like A Pill

First Frost

Break out the scarves, hats, and woolly mittens, ladies and gentlemen! Last night was the first frost! And granted, now it's 20-something degrees, but my point is that September has arrived, and with it came the wonderful frost! It won't be long now until all the leaves are orange and gold and yellow, and there will be chilly nights and cups of hot chocolate and maybe...if I'm lucky....snow!
Also, I know I'm thinking super in advance, but now we're in the last half of the year, I'm getting excited for one of my favourite things! Once we get through November (I can't allow myself to get super Christmasy until December 1st...but I can get excited about it!) it will be time for me to buy Candy Cane Hot Chocolate from Second Cup! Man, no one makes a peppermint hot chocolate like they do! Eeeeeee!
Shut up, I'm super excited! In way advance! But in the mean time, let there be joy about the best month of the year being upon us! Yay September! Yay first frost!

Augh...Dear God...

So I go to bed last night, absolutely FREEZING! I had pyjamas, three blankets, and was in the fetal position to conserve heat energy. And yet I was still shivering. I felt like I was going to die. I didn't sleep well, but I did wake up at 7:30 when my various alarms went off. I stayed awake until 9:00, so I called Katia and told her I couldn't go in. She was fine with it (she's super nice). Then I called Kathy and asked her to take me to the doctor. So we went, sat forever waiting at the walk in clinic. Frick.
As it turns out, I just have the flu. We picked up some cold and flu caplets and I have tomorrow off anyway to get better. So know I'm cold, I ache all over from constant shivering, and I am trying to figure out where I got the flu from...somewhere in the mall?

Whoa...

Whoa...whoa! Whoooooa.
Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, today I worked at Claire's for eight hours...and I don't get a day off until Thursday. This is much the suck. Oh well, at least I like Claire's...and they're not all eight hour shifts...but I do NOT want to go to the Belcher tomorrow to do dishes. Frick. Super lame. Anyway, yeah, gonna stop complaining now.
So, yeah, I'm super happy about what today is. I mean, like...ecstatic.
Ummm...yeah, I think that's pretty much it. I am quite tired. Mmmm...sleeeeeeeep...

Musical Quote of the Day

"She doesn't know wrong from right
She doesn't know when to fight
She only knows that tonight
There's always someone out there
She'll never be alone"

-Abandoned Pool Title: Sunny Day

MP3! MP3!

So I still have some kinks to work out, but it's so sweet. I am le addicted. I had better buy some AAA batteries though...I need my fix, man.
And now, the long awaited Musical Quote of the Day, which will be whatever song is playing right now....

Musical Quote of the Day

"Walked around my good intentions
And found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked
Never thought I would forget this hate
Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong

And if I don't make it
Know that I loved you all along
Just like sunny days
That we ignore
Because we're all dumb and jaded
And to hope to God I figure out what's wrong"

-Our Lady Peace Title: I Loved You All Along (At least that's what my MP3 player says it's called...isn't actually called Jaded or something? I dunno. Whatevers.)

Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

I gots me an mp3 player as an early birthday present. And thanks to Kevin, it's actually working! So much mooooseeeek!

Germs...All Over...Get Them Off!

Eewewewewwww...so many germs...
I got sick. I don't know how I got a cold in August. But I want it to not be there anymore. I tried to not get sick, I really did! Sorry Kev...
Anyway, I woke up and noticed my hand and wrist didn't hurt as much. Yay. So I took off the bandage and the lump is pretty small now. It's still stiff but I'm not wearing that itchy thing all day. But upon sitting up it occured to me that my head weighs 400 lbs due to excess mucus and my throat has decided to close up for a while. Also, I have managed to simultaneously be freezingly cold on the inside, but 700 degrees to the touch. Where are my Hello Kitty tissues when I need them?!
And now I have to go clean my room.

Ow....Ooooowwww....

First of all, work was fine, I really enjoyed it. Amanda is super nice and she was quite impressed by me. But I am so tired, because I couldn't sleep last night. Honestly...I was tired last night too, and yet 2:00 am rolled around and I was still tossing and turning and staring at my ceiling. Weird.
Anyway, the reason my title is an expression of pain because of my right wrist. I don't know how I did it...maybe pulled it lifting trays and stuff at the Belcher. Anyway, the muscle on the left side of my wrist is quite swollen. It kinda hurt at work today, but my watch was supporting it so it didn't bother me that much. But when I got home it super hurt. I took off my watch, and did some "tests".
1. Wiggle fingers...doesn't hurt.
2. Bend wrist down...nope...
3. Bend wrist up...nothing yet.
4. Touch swollen area...yeah, a little.
5. Stretch hand and fingers...owowow...
6. Bend wrist to the left....frick, ow...
7. Bend wrist to the right (directly stretching the swollen muscle)...OH HOLY GOD HELL OH SHIT DAMN!
So I am sitting, eating dinner, not manuevering my fork very well. At last, I was like "Fuck, Mom, can you take a look at my wrist, it's super sore?" She looks at it, and feels the lump. She asks me to bend it more. Owowowow. And finally, she makes her diagnoses.
"You've sprained your wrist."
What?
So she gets the bandage from the medicine cabinet and wraps my hand and wrist up. It's a long bandage so it's almost to my elbow. It feels a bit better, but I have to wear it for a few days, possibly a week, and it's very sweaty and hot inside and a little itchy, and I don't like how it looks. I'm very surprised I sprained it...the last time I sprained my wrist was in grade...I dunno...nine? And it hurt more that time. But this was different...the pain came gradually. Huh.
Frick, it looks retarded!!!

Joy!

Can I take a liberty and be poetic here?
Yes?
Okay, cool.
Thanks.
So, Summer is almost over, and as much as it's beautiful, I can't wait for it to be over. Someone once told me that we are children of the seasons we are born in. As a Child of Autumn, I long for orange and yellow leaves, the sound of the wind, and early morning frost. Summer in Calgary is lovely, but short. And already I can see the leaves turning. Bring on the Fall! I prefer Fall and Winter anyway. Making leaf piles and jumping in them. Wearing cozy sweaters. My birthday. Orange and red hues all around. Warm soup. Making crowns out of big leaves. Climbing half-naked trees. The smell of the earth. Thanksgiving. The weeks of leftovers that follow. Halloween. Candy. Admitedly...November is kinda dull. But then December! Shopping for mittens, scarf, and cute boots. The way the house is so warm after being outside in the chill (okay....maybe not my house...) . Rosy cheeks. Walks in the park. The first snowfall. Tobogganing (I will this year, come Hell or high water!). Snowball fights. Snowmen. Snow Angels. Early Dusks. Making paper snowflakes on cold days. Hot chocolate. Curling up under a blanket and watching a good movie. Ice skating. Skiing. Christmas shopping. Sparkling lights and decorations. And for one time out of the whole year, we all believe in Angels.


On a completely unrelated topic, check this out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustus_John

I am related to him by marriage. His son married my maternal Grandpa's sister. So...my great aunt. So that makes him my great great uncle. I already knew all about him, but I thought I'd share with the class.

Musical Quote of the Day...awww, heck, you guys have been good, you get a whole song!
Blue = man (Ewan MacGregor)
Red = woman (Nicole Kidman-although I'm not a huge fan of her)
Purple = both

"Love is a many splendoured thing!
Love lifts us up where we belong!
All you need is love!

Please don't start that again...

All you need is love...

A girl has got to eat!

All you need is love...

Or she'll end up on the street!

All you need is love...

Love is just a game.

I was made for lovin' you baby,
You were made for lovin' me!

The only way of lovin' me baby,
Is to pay a lovely fee!

Just one night...
Just one night?

There's no way,
'Cause you can't pay!

In the name of love,
One night in the name of love!

You crazy fool!
I won't give into you!

Don't...leave me this way...
I can't survive without your sweet love
Oh baby,
Don't leave me this way...

You think that people would have had enough
Of silly love songs...

I look around me
And I see it isn't so.

Some people want to fill the world
With silly love songs...

Well what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know
'Cause here I go again!

Love lifts us up where we belong!
Where eagles fly
On a mountain high!

Love makes us act like we are fools!
Throw our lives away
For one happy day!

We could be heroes...
Just for one day...

You...
You will be mean!

No I won't!

And I...
I'll drink all the time...

We should be lovers!

We can't do that.

We should be lovers,
And that's a fact!

Though nothing
Will keep us together...

We could steal time
Just for one day.

We could be heroes,
Forever and ever!
We could be heroes,
Forever and ever!
We could be heroes!

Just because
I will always love you

I...
Can't help loving
You...

How wonderful life is
Now you're in the world..."

-Moulin Rouge (Nicole Kidman and Ewan MacGregor) Title: Elephant Love Medley
Shut up, it's a good song...and the AMV someone made for it is pretty sweet too. Check it out!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rn5d4qzmelQ
My favourite part is the Escaflowne bit...

Well That Was An Obscure Day

I had no clue if I was working or not. So this morning, I awoke at nine o' clock to call work and see if I was scheduled for either 11:00 or 4:00. So I call, and keep in mind, I'm quite tired at this point. This was the conversation...

Random person: Hello?
*I didn't recognize their voice*
Me: Hello, this is Katie, who is this?
Random person: What can I do for you?
Me: Oh...well, can you just look on the schedule to see if I'm working at 11:00?
Random person: Hang on...
*A few moments pass*
Random person: No, no you're not.
Me: Okay, thanks. Can you-
*At this point I was going to ask if they could see if I was working at 4:00, but I was interrupted*
Random person: It's super busy, I have to go now.
Me: Oh, okay, sure, tha-
*Click*

So I went back to sleep for a while. Got up an hour later and did my thing, just watched TV and did some chores. And then, stupidly, I completely forgot to call them back to see if I was working later. So I get this phone call at 3:15...

Me: Hello?
Voice: Yes, is this Katie?
*I recognized Lara's voice and my heart sank*
Me: Yes.
Lara: This is Lara from the Colonel Belcher. You do know you're working at 4:00, right?
Me: ...no.
Lara: Well you are, so get down her soon, okay...
Me: Uh...okay...
*Click*

I go, cursing madly, to check bus times. The next 428 was not going to be there until 4:00, and it takes me 2 hours to get to work on the weekend, because you have to wait longer for trains and the other bus. So I call Lara back

Lara: Hello?
Me: Hi, it's me, Katie...the next bus isn't going to be here until 4:00, and-
Lara: Well, where do you live?
Me: The very very far north east. It'll take me 2 hours to get to work...
Lara: TWO HOURS?!
Me: An hour and 45 minutes, if I'm lucky.
Lara: Well, take a cab.
Me: I don't have money for a cab...
Lara: I'll pay it, we need you down here. It's your responsibility to find out when you're working and we're already short one person. Call the cab.
Me: Uh...kay.
*Click*

So I call the cab, and get there at 4:20. Lara was furious, understandably, but I didn't bother to explain that part of the blame was on the person I talked to earlier. But I should not have forgotten to call later in the day. So I just worked...I worked two sections, because we were short one person, and the two other girls are kinda newbies. Plus one of them kept flirting with Alex, the non-scary dishwasher. The old people were...mixed, at best. Some of them were very gracious and patient, but most of them were EVIL! I kept apologizing and trying to explain why they had to wait so long, but they couldn't care less. They want there gross pork riblets, and they want them now. And woe betide me if they didn't get dessert within 30 seconds of ordering it. Plus dinner was very busy tonight. It was very stressful. Towards the end of my shift, I finally got the chance to formally apologize to Lara, who was less angry by that point. I offered to pay the cab fare ($25.00) and turned in my 2-weeks notice. I was surprised I wasn't fired, to be honest. Although I don't think Lara is sad to see me go. And neither am I. Only three more shifts and then I'm free.
I can't wait to start at Claires. I get to learn to pierce ears!

We Have Now Resumed Normal Service

After a brief but strong panic attack at two in the morning and dreaming that a wasp flew into my ear (I could feel it) and generally hating existance I am back to normal. Ish. Damn, why is life so complicated sometimes? Oh well, it's this or death. Or religion.
Anyway, I'm off to Sunridge to hand out resumes so I can do a crappy job and hopefully not be a huge loser forever and ever. Which, apparently, I'd be very good at. Maybe I should start paying my Idiot Tax and join the lottery. If I won $42 million, I think, somehow, I'd get by.
Sorry for being odd. Just...it seems lately I spend a lot of my time missing people. I miss my mom's family, my dad's family, my dad and stepmom, my Japanese family, Kevin, his family, all of my pets who have died (like Amber the cat) and childhood in general.
I kinda thought about all this stuff on the plane. There weren't many clouds, so I could look down and see the summer mountains that separate August from September. Leaving the glimmering shores of Vancouver and landing in the yellow prairies of Calgary. Huh.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do"

-Hoobastank Title: The Reason

Oh Yes, That's Right.

That's on my right side, just above my hip. Forever. Am I not teh coolest? I think so. Plus, it was less expensive than originally perceived. And it hurt like a mofo. But worth it, don't you think? I do. Kevin, stop reading over my shoulder.
Talk to you all later! QUIT IT, KEVIN!
Awww...good thing you're cute.

So...I'll Be Checking My Luggage...

Thanks to heightened airport security, I guess I have to check my luggage. Or not bring shampoo. Ew.
God I'm tired! Rargh!
So I went out for dinner today with Jo-Anne, Glenn, and Brad. T'was most enjoyable. Yayay! But for some reason I am very tired.
Tomorrow I am meeting Kari and she is accompanying me to the airport. Hoorah! We shall play hide and seek...because airport hide and seek is so much fun...although it is more fun with more people.

I am too tired for a Musical Quote of the Day. Sorry.

May All That You Wish Come True

Happy birthday, my dearest Kari. You're the best friend a girl could ask for. Thankyou for putting up with my stupidity, lack of punctuality, and general idiocy. I love you for it. You're a beautiful person and I admire your strength. Happy Birthday, babe! This is your day, love it, live it! And remember...we're going to Ca-andy Mountain, Cha-arlie!

Also, I'm in a really weird mood right now. A mix of happy, lonely, sad and excited. Sometimes the last stretch is the hardest, because it's so close, but I can't make time go faster...
I just want to close my eyes, reach out my hand, and feel you there.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light
Or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'No''s on their 'Vancancy' signs
If there's no one's beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school
As vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised
By a lady in black
And I held my tongue
As she told me 'Son,
Fear is the heart of love'
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'No''s on their 'Vacancy' signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the Dark

You and me
Have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'No''s on their 'Vacancy' signs
If there's no one's beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark"

-Death Cab for Cutie Title: I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I Don't Think I Can Wait...

I'm too excited.
Anyway, not much is different here. I have to clean my closet at some point. Tomorrow I am meeting Kari so I should do it tonight so that the closet monster doesn't eat he-I mean...nothing...
I'm so bored!

Musical Quote of the Day

"Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life"

-Green Day Title: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
I listen to this song and know that everything will be okay.

The New Year

Yeah, so this is a really good AMV...I like the song.
I'm back from Japan and was happy to sleep in my own bed, despite my messy room. I still haven't unpacked or changed my furniture in my room, but I have tomorrow off too, and today I was catching up on sleep. So much sleep.
Well, that's all I have to say. Japan stories must be saved for when I talk to my friends in person. Yayay!

Musical Quote of the Day

"So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we're wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back"

-Death Cab for Cutie Title: The New Year
I like this song, and one other song by them.

CANDY APPLE OF JOY!!!!

okay, i am typing on a japanese keyboard and i can not quite figure out how to do some tuff, so excuse the bad spelling and grammar. your mom.
okay, so i am in japan right now. yes. now. as you read, i am sitting next to my very kawaii host sister , mao, who is holding my sticky candy apple so i can type to you people. yay mao!
it is super hot here. like, hotter than anything. ever. kevin, vancouver has nothing on this heat! also, last night there was a cockraoch the size of my cat in my room and even after spraying it a thousand times with insecticide it still mananged to twitch in a very gross way.
whatever.
last night i went and saw the most beautiful fireworks display! they were huge. huge! if i could find a way to make the capital letter work again i would use them.
okay, i have to go because my?candy apple is melting all over maos hands. and i want to eat it. kari, i miss you, dear, and got you a cool present that is definitely not a wind bell. no sirree bob, not a wind bell at all.
kevin, darling, i love you and will call you when we are stopping over in vancouver for six freaking hours. love you!
sayonara!

Busy Busy Busy

Woooo, things are crazy around here...no matter how much I pack, I always seem to have more to do! Okay, so yeah...things are good. I'll miss you all, chances of me blogging in Japan are slim to none...are keyboards even in English, there?
Well, sayonara!

Musical Quote of the Day

"There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
The feeling that she makes"

-I have no idea, and am too lazy to find out who sang this Title: There She Goes

Frick

In such a bad mood right now.
A) OLP concert was a bust. I'm a loser who will never go to a rock concert. Fan-fucking-tastic.
B) I was just informed that my mother was "really mad" because I left two blankets and my alarm clock out in the living room after Kari slept over last night. TWO FUCKING BLANKETS, WHO GIVES A RATS ASS IF I DIDN'T PUT THEM AWAY IMMEDIATELY?!
C) It's just depressing, is all, okay?

The Yamada Family

This is the family who will be having me in their home whilst I am in Japan.

Name: Yamada Yoshitaka
Role: Father (Head of Family)
Age: 49
Occupation: President (It didn't say what of...possibly Japan)

Name: Yamada Yukari
Role: Mother
Age: 46
Occupation: Dance Instructor

Name: Yamada Mao
Role: Older sister
Age: 17
Occupation: Grade 12 Student

Name: Yamada Mio
Role: Younger sister
Age: 13
Occupation: Grade 8 Student

Name: Yamada Seiichi
Role: Grandfather
Age: 77
Occupation: Chairman

Name: Yamada Kimiko
Role: Grandmother
Age: 77
Occupation: Ceramic Artist

So...awesome! And I'll be a part of it!
Also, Georgeanne was nice to me today...huh...weird...

Musical Quote of the Day

"I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that is dead shall be regrown
And your viscious pain
Your warning sign
You will be fine"

-Angels and Airwaves Title: The Adventure

Oeeewwww....

Headaches make me sad.

Pros of today
-went to Stampede Parade, much joy.
-got cute t-shirts and shorts (Kari, I hope you have yours, it wasn't in the bag >_<).
-saw Pirates...but shhh.

Cons
-had a huge fight with my mother
-have a headache from lack of sleep (I got about an hour last night).
-haven't eaten anything today except popcorn and mentos.

Musical Quote of the Day

"I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
You fold it up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me"

-Stone Sour Title: Through the Glass

Oh Dear Sweet Lord

Have mercy on my soul, you jerk!
So, considering I get accused at every turn by everybody that I don't look far enough ahead into the future, I decided to look into some post-secondary choices. And instead of sorting out my life it just made me so confused I could cry. There are three choices I have, considering I don't want to leave Calgary for school. So here they are.
1. ACAD
2. Mount Royal
3. University of Calgary
I'm not going to SAIT. I'm just not.
Anyway, so, basically, all three of these schools left my head pounding. Let's begin.
The ACAD, or Alberta College of Art and Design, would seem like an obvious choice for an artist such as myself. But unforetunately, there is no drama, no music, no English, no anything else I like. And I don't have a portfolio. So, that's that out.
Secondly, there is Mount Royal. Not only could I barely navigate my way around their website, but it would seem that I am a retard. On the good side, they have two year diploma's in theatre and music. But apparently art doesn't exist. At all. Or maybe I just couldn't find it. They do, however have a winter semester I can sign up for. It definitely seems the most promising of the three, but I'm still so confused I don't know what to think. But both their music and theatre programs require auditions. Oh. Dear. Lord.
Last but not least is the U of C. Prestigious, no doubt, and they had everything I liked...music, art, drama, and English. Plus, at the end, I'd have a degree, not just a diploma. There is one major set back though. The programs are at least four years (some are five), and I can't sign up for a winter semester. Considering I'll no way in Hell be able to pay for this myself, I'd be taking out student loans. And upon exiting their programs with a spiffy degree, I could have up to six years worth of student loans waiting to suck up the rest of my life.
Which, of course, reminds me I haven't even looked into finances!
God, I hate this. I hate that I want to go to post-secondary so badly...I don't want to be a deadbeat loser for the rest of my life, working in some generic job and regretting that I never went to college. But it's so damned expensive and confusing! Why can't someone just come up to me and say "This is what you want to take, this is what you need to take it, and this is how much it will cost." Instead of all this bullshit about applications, auditions, and admissions. I know, I know, life isn't easy. I'm not trying to be a pampered little princess here who gets everything handed to her on a silver platter. But surely, surely it can't be this fucking complicated?!
So I have two choices, really. Spend the next several years living with my mother, paying rent, watching my perfect sister go to uni-bloody-versity and be the smart daughter, then grow old, work as a waitress forever, and look back on my life and wished I had gone to post-secondary. I'll have no husband or children, because no one's going to want to marry someone who can't support herself financially, and I won't have any kids because I won't be able to afford them. Plus, if I had kids, I'd end up living through them and putting pressure on them to go to university and be brilliant and they'd hate their lives and me, and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone. That's option A.
Option B is that I go to school, not even sure what I'll end up doing, having no free time or money, racking up huge debt due to student loans, spending years in school, hours in lecture halls, and growing more and more confused. And all of that is if I get in. If. If I can afford it, if I have good enough grades from high school, if they like my auditions. And if I can't do any of that, I won't go crazy, but I'll go back to option A.
I don't want to be a failure.
But I think I already am.
And now that I'm all good and cried-out, I'm going to bed. To stare at the ceiling until dawn and go to a brightly coloured parade where I can pretend everything is okay.

YeeeeHawwww!

Going to the Stampede parade tomorrow. Felt like typing in burnt sienna orange. Hoorah!
Well, not much else is new. Had KFC for dinner...it was gross but delicous too.
Also, I'm thisclose to leveling up in World of Warcraft. Come on, Moonvale...just...a little...more...
I was gonna go to the store today but it was too rainy and scary. So I didn't. Haha!

This Blog Ain't Big Enough For The Two Of Us!

Hahaha, my new white cowboy hat is teh awesome!
You are all teh jealous!
Plus, thanks to my short skirt, the guy at the store gave me a $15.00 discount! I didn't even say anything about the price, which was $35.00, and he was like "For you, it's $20.00, no tax." Yay!
Well, that was my day, cowpokes. See ya!

*rides off into sunset*

What is this place?

Oh. Right. My blog.
Sorry for my extended absense, it's been a busy two weeks. With the exams and the boyfriend and the cabin trip and the insanity. But I have missed my little blog and am happy to be back, pouring my thoughts into a little drop in the internet ocean. And I'm sure you have all missed the Musical Quote of the Day, which I'm happy to announce is back in full force with a tribute to Evan. Evan, this one's for you.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day"

-Daniel Powter Title: Bad Day

Tomorrow!

Yay! Tomorrow is a good thing! I is so happy!
Anyway, this is a short blog entry.
I have the worlds most painful zit on my chin. Gross, I know. It's gained sentience! Just like Chris on Family Guy...except real. If I go on a killing spree, we'll all know why!

So Angry

This entry I may end up regretting later, because I'm going to use some very harsh words. But I don't care. I've had enough. I'm not upset. I'm not crying. I'm so angry I could run away, screaming obsenities all the way until all of this is miles behind me. Let us begin.
I am going to Japan even if it kills me.
I am done giving a SHIT what anybody thinks. Sometimes I think that it's not worth going. And way back when all this bullcrap started, I felt in my heart that I don't want to go to Japan to spite anyone. Well screw that! I'm going. I don't want my mother to come to the airport to say goodbye. I'll take the bus there. And before I leave, I'll say "HA! You thought I was a loser who couldn't do anything! You thought this whole trip was a waste of my time! Well, I'm finally going, I did it all by myself! And what have you done with your life lately? Spent the last year bitching and complaining at me, wallowing in your own self pity and loathing me that now I don't even care what you think about me. So whose the loser?!" And then I will walk out the door, leaving her speechless and with a lot to think about.
Fuck, do you know what she said to me?! She's always telling me I need to get a job. NEWS FLASH: I. HAVE. A. JOB. And maybe it's not the job she wants me to have, but fuck that. I'll never be the person she wants me to be. Ever. Good thing too. Turn out like Meagan? St Daughter? HELLS NO!!! I'm going to be whoever the hell I want. So she said to me a few minutes ago "I can't understand why you aren't working on Saturday." As if it's any of her business. And not in the nice way. In the "You idiot, why aren't you working?!" And this was after I told her several times why I wasn't working. It's the day after Kevin gets back. "Well, what's his opinion on it?" "He thinks it would be a shame for him to come home and have me rush off to work the next day." So then St Daughter starts railing on me too, and I burst out "I JUST WANNA SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY BOYFRIEND, OKAY?" And my mother knows full well I have two weeks to spend with him before he leaves for ANOTHER three fucking months. She gets angry, and uses that awful tone of voice like I am the biggest dissapointment on the planet. "Well, I can't understand why you aren't working when you still have a thousand dollars left to pay"-at which point I tried to protest, but she kept on bulldozing-"and you need a job. Meagan has a job for you. And you can either spend all your time with Kevin and not go to Japan, or see Kevin between working and go to Japan. You are so ridiculous! You need a job, there's a job for you, but you're too God damn lazy to get off your ass and do anything!" Thus she stormed off upstairs, muttering horrible things about me to herself. Perfectly and purposely audible things.
So here is all I have to say on this subject....
I love my boyfriend. And I am tired of taking out my problems on him, because he is the best person in the world and shouldn't have to deal with this shit. And if anyone has a beef with that, that is too fucking bad. I get two weeks...two FUCKING weeks to spend with him before September rolls around. And I don't give a FUC K what anyone thinks of me, or him, or us together. He is the only one who understands me, just the way I am. And I'm sure there are some people who can argue that they care about me and understand me more than him. I don't care. To me, he is the one. And if any of you truly love me and "understand" me, you'll leave me the hell alone about the subject.
Secondly, I am going to Japan, and if anyone, ANYONE, gets in my way, I will destroy them. No jokes. My mother, Kari, Kevin, any of you. Do NOT fuck with me. I've worked to hard for this.
I'm going.
Stay the FUCK out of my way.