So it's true...

It is. I don't want to believe it. But I do a lot of things I don't want to do.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Why is it that my life is a total waste? I don't mean to sound all "Oooh, my life sucks, blah blah fucking blah" but well...that's the risk I must run. I'm going to use a euphamism, if I may...
Life is like television. There are different channels. Mine is currently on the soap opera channel, and I can't find the fucking remote.

Talking today about blissful ignorance. Wish I was. Wish I was far from this place. Schooling in England next year sounds more and more appealing, but for some stupid reason, I feel tied to this place. Maybe I'll just switch schools at the last minute. Maybe. It's all a massive blur.
God, I was happier when my mouth was numb. Novacaine is perfect for dreamless sleep, but it has worn off now, leaving my gums sore and my teeth aching. Fuck.

Holy fucking crap. I just realized something. I saw myself in the hallway mirror, and it dawned on me. The worst thought in the world. It was amazing. I had to sit down. Seven little words that I should have thought of a long time ago, as it would have stopped a whole lot of shit from going down. TINSTAL. Forget CFSIAL. As true as that still is, TINSTAL is even worse. I don't want to believe that either. But I'll believe the truth, no matter what it is.