You guys, the tiger at the Zoo has terminal bone cancer. That makes me sad. I remember the first time I saw Kassam. I thought "I want a tiger!" Then he leapt at the glass and growled and I decided I didn't want one anymore. But he was cool. Rest in peace, Kassam!

Okay, on a happier note, I am learning to cook tomorrow. Okay, that isn't so happy, but I can practise my food-burning techniques for Friday. I want to look like a skilled moron, God dammit! If I can get the food to be burnt on the outside but raw on the inside, I would be so proud of myself! I simply must put a sacrificial something in the oven so that the Gods of the Vortex are appeased.
Well, I'm going to try! And no helping!