A Beautiful Mask

Yup. That's what I'm wearing.
Anyway, yesterday, when I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and cry all day, I got up, and went to sing to Scottish and Estonian people. I was very tired. But it's best to keep busy, and not to think about it, right? So I went and sang, and demanded hugs from people.
It was a pretty funny day, in retrospect. Mr Kelly...ugh....dear God, why did he do that!? Let's just say he left the choir girls, including me, grimacing, freaking out, and going bright red. But apart from that, it was okay. I got hugs from Anthony, Matt, Sarah, Rene, Kari, and many others. I got a little bit emotional at lunch. It's really hard to contain it, sometimes. Kari bought me a white rose to make me feel better. I stood up, and hugged her, and closed my eyes and just started to cry, because it occured to me how wonderful all of my friends are, and how much they care about me. When I pulled back, Sarah, Nikki, and Chelsea all saw me and jumped up and hugged me with Kari, and we started laughing, and I was screaming "Gang rape! Gang rape!" I'm glad I have such good friends. I just have to keep busy so that I don't think about things.
And yet, as lovely and my friends are, there is still emptiness inside. A choking, drowning emptiness that makes me cry at night.
Thank God that Kari came over and watched Napolean Dynamite and Anchorman with me. And ate junkfood.

Musical Quote of the Day

"The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
You got no say at all"

-Kelly Clarkson (I don't really like her music, just this song) CD: Love Actually Soundtrack Track: 1 Title: The Trouble With Love Is

Sing it, sister.