Auuuuuughgfdsghaausdasuauauu

The sound of an animal in the throws of death...the sound I am making.
Last night was a party, Kari attended, and today I am going to Greekfest with Schnickerfritz, and as fun as all that is, I sort of just want to go to bed and stay there. Maybe I am hungover, or maybe I am just grumpy. Maybe it's the weather. I don't know. But I do want to just be alone for a while.
Maybe it's because I am almost paralyzed by fear. A deep discomfort originating in my stomach and working its way through my limbs and psyche. My heart keeps skipping beats. Every now and then I get goosebumps, the shivering skin crawl that you get when "someone walks over your grave". I feel calm one moment, and then like I'm about to cry the next. My mind keeps turning situations over in my mind...what if...how come....why not...could I....should I...it's all mixed up. It's probably my imagination and insecurities. I've been to this place before, so all I know is that at this time my heart gets broken. This place is so dark and scary and unsure. Everyone is getting on my nerves.
I don't know whether to bring it up in conversation or not. There is nothing worse than someone who is so insecure. I just need to get over it. Pull myself together. Be strong.
But I am still so afraid.

Musical Quote of the Day

"Your life has been so hard
Its dried up angels can't keep going
I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire
I never meant to fade away
Way yeah
So jsut stop pretending when they say you're nothing

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be?
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be

I'm drowning inside your head
Help me to answer
Help understand
Why it's been so long since we talked like friends
Oh please forgive me
I'm just a man whose made mistakes
Made yeah
So just stop pretending when they say you're nothing"

-Our Lady Peace Title: Are You Sad