Freakin' Freakin' Freakin' Hell!

Yeah, so tomorrow is dental surgery *grimace* and hopefully today I didn't act as petrified as I feel. It's not the actual going to sleep that scares me -although it is rather frightening- because I've had surgery once before when I was quite young (9) and I wasn't too scared, it's the waking up and being in sheer agony and wishing I was dead that I don't look forward to at all, which I hear happens after dental surgery. Plus, afterwards, I'm going to look like Hell. Kari said she was going to come and visit me, but I really don't want her to. Not that I don't want her to come because I don't like her or anything, but because I'm going to look/smell/feel/sound like utter crap, and I won't be much company. I'm going to be on lots of antibiotics and powerful painkillers -yay!- and I will be very dissoriented and nauseous and I would be so embarrassed for anyone, even my best friends, to see me like that. Yeah. So, very close to tears. Everyone wished me luck and a few people hugged me and one nice girl, Margaret, in my English class said she'd pray for me. Although a very sweet notion, in my head I was like, "Yeah, kind of a waste...God is...well, he gets angry when people pray for the Daughter of Bealzebub." *evil grin* Except not. So, anyway, I'm really very nervous, and was almost crying in the car. I don't like pain. Grrrr. Not at all.
Goodbye, solid food...I'll miss you. Speaking of which, we did not, as planned, go to Denny's for my "Last Supper (that isn't mushed up in the food processor)", instead we went to my favourite restaurant, the SUMO LOUNGE! Allow me to describe all of the delicious food I devoured like a demon:
Salmon
Shitake Mushroom
Sweet Tamago
Eel
Octopus
Beef
Tempura Shrimp
Miso Soup
Spring Rolls
Dumplings
Some Stuff That I Wasn't Sure About But Was Really Yummy Anyway
I had several servings of each. And the sushi chef bar guy was preparing octopus tentacles, and he pulled whole, dead, chilled octopus out of a big white tub and its tentacles were all coiled and he cut off one and began to prepare it and I was very happy because it was so cool and he gave me a piece and I was even happier. And Banana Pocky for dessert. Myayayayayayayayayaya! So now I can't eat anything. A) I'm full, and B) After midnight, I cannot consume any food or liquid, not even water, because it will make the anaesthetic go "fuck you" and hurt me. Sigh. I love solids.
I have to take off all of my jewelry tomorrow, which I don't want to do. Especially the necklace. Whenever I feel stressed I just grip it and remind myself that everything is okay. As soon as I wake up, my hand will fly to my throat, and I'll be sad to feel nothing there. Damn.
Anyway, I got shit to do, so ta ta for...well, I won't be online tomorrow at all. Let's just say, as soon as I am coherent, I will come online and bitch about how much I hurt.

Musical Quote of the Day...let's make it the whole song...'cuz it's apt.

"Take away the sensation inside
Bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
Give me novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling and that's alright
Jimmy says it's better than here

I'll tell you what

Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's ovewhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine

Oh novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me, Jimmy, I won't feel a thing
So give me novacaine"

-Green Day CD: American Idiot Track:7 Title: Give Me Novacaine.
It's funny, because it's actually a song about emotional overload, but for me, it's literal. Go Green Day.