Hmmm....okay, leaving here at about 4:30. I need to bathe, get my shit together, and high-tail it out of here. That is my plan for today.

Eeeek. I can't. I'm not tough enough for that. I don't have the guts.

And now for a song. It's by Amanda Marshall, who is ever so talented. I suggest you all download it. It perfectly describes how I feel right now. Especially the last line.

Beautiful Goodbye~Amanda Marshall.

Fed up with my destiny
And this place of no return
Think I'll take another day
And slowly watch it burn
And it doesn't really matter
How the time goes by
'Cause I still remember you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

Staggered through these empty streets
Laughing arm in arm
The night had made a mess of me
Your confessions kept me warm
And I don't really miss you
I just need to know
Do you ever think of you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away
If I let you down
Please forgive me now
For that beautiful goodbye

In these days of no regrets
I keep mine to myself
And all the things we never said
I can say for someone else
And nothing lasts forever
But we always try
And I just can't help but wonder why
We let it pass us by

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could have watched you walk away
If I let you down
Please forgive me now
For that beautiful goodbye

Baby what can I do
Oh to get through to you
And sometimes I cry
Yeah
Just a fools lullaby
Sometimes I cry
It's just a fools lullaby
Oh I

I'm dying inside


Isn't that a fabulous song? Some lines are perfect for how I feel, some are not. But that is the beauty of music. And now I am going to shower.