AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NONONONONO THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! Oh, for the holy love of God let this just be a dream within a dream...please let my alarm clock go off any minute now and wake me, and let it be back when I was five living in England going to Catholic Boarding school without a care in the world. Let my nanna still be healthy and let Misty still be alive. Let it be the day my cousin Jacob tore up my picture of a dinosoar, because that was the day Dad called me from Canada to tell him off and it made me happy. Let it be my fifth birthday, when Nanna gave me five yellow roses and a birthday cake shaped like a puppy. Let it be anything except this horrible place! God, I hope my alarm goes off soon. My best friends Layla and Hermione and I are going to the beach with Auntie Lou, in our adorable school uniforms. Soon Nanna is going to come in a wake me up and make me what I have for breakfast everyday-boiled egg and lightly buttered toast-and I'll play with Misty. Oh God, please don't let this be happening. Make that awful dream I just had not be real! When will my alarm go off? Oh that stupid dream! I always wanted to know who it was I was killing, and now I know and I am so frightened. I really want some company at the park tomorrow, but you're too wrapped up in your own misery to give a shit about me. All of you. Why is it that I can't seem to keep anyone? The person I love more than anything, my family, friends. Why?! I lied before, I don't have answers to any of those questions, not a single one. Why don't people like me? I've looked in the mirror for so many hours, trying to figure it out. My mom said I looked very pretty after she French braided the crap out of me, but I don't see a very pretty person. I see a sickly, unloved, ugly, despised little creature who has nothing better to do than dwell on the past, and make lists of her most wanted desires. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Whatever I didn't do, I'll do it, but please, God, make that dream dissapear. Make me wake up to the sound of the defective rooster living next door to Nanna. I want to wake up and get my morning hug from Grandpa, and never leave England and never take up drawing or singing or acting, and just be like everybody else. You all seem to like everybody else. Oh dear God...I was killing her, she looked so sad. Right at the time when I really need someone, anyone, no one is there. I'm alone. Alone in my park. My beautiful, sad, lonely park. It's midnight...I'm not going to sleep tonight. I don't want to dream again, and see her face. I don't want to watch me kill her. I HATE THIS DREAM, I HATE THIS LIFE!!! Oh, Nanna, Mom, someone, please, wake me up. Wake me up. Wake me up and let a wave of relief come over me as I remember this stupid life/dream. Don't let me be alone anymore. Please come to the park tomorrow. Misty. Ahhhhh, this is so frightening. Please God. Please.




Dear beloved reader;
Kat is under a lot of stress lately. She hasn't slept for weeks, and she is sick. She will return to normal as soon. Until then, we promise to keep her away from the blog website, in hopes of sparing you all from silly outbursts of raw insanity. Thankyou for your patience.

Sincerely, the Management.